Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Best Gift Ever

     I was so looking forward to Advent this year! I was tired of straddling the fence in several areas in my life, and saw Advent as a perfect opportunity to rid my heart of clutter. I intended to work hard to purify and cleanse my heart, making it ready to receive Jesus on Christmas morning.

     But as we lit the pink candle on our Advent wreath last Sunday, I quietly cringed inwardly. On some fronts, I was doing very well, but in one area in particular, I was ashamed.

Monday, December 12, 2016

No Mistake Here

     “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.”               
                                                                                                        Luke 1:28, 42


     As I read those words, I felt very uncomfortable. I could not accept them. I could not receive them. I did not believe this message was meant for me. It must have been a mistake.

     Those words had been spoken to Our Lady – by Gabriel and Elizabeth. Like John the Baptist, I was unworthy to untie the straps of Mary’s sandals, let alone accept words that were meant for her.

     My friend must have misunderstood what she was supposed to do. After all, she was new to our group. Maybe it was not explained to her clearly enough that each of us was to choose either something from our study, or a scripture that was dear to our hearts. These messages were to be exchanged with one another and received as God’s gift to them. The words were often a lifeline and something to cling to in times of trial. This exchange was often the highpoint and culmination of our time together as a group, and one we all cherished and looked forward to receiving. Because my heart was closed to the gift, I felted cheated!

     I was struggling with my feelings. We had prayed as usual, that each of us would receive the “word” that God wanted us to receive. I felt like I would be a hypocrite, by accepting the word that I had received. I was not “full” of grace, and much of my “fruit,” my good works, had not, in my eyes anyway, appeared to have been blessed. There were areas, in which, I felt as though I had failed, and could not see the blessing. I asked God to enlighten me, because I felt as though I was in the dark.

     At Mass the next morning, I again asked God to help me to see. I remembered many years ago, feeling the same way about a different “word” I had been given. It took me five days before I was able to see that God had in fact, meant that “word” for me. I knew I was being asked to trust and believe once again, that He would make it clear.

     I began to pray the scripture: “Hail, full of grace!” Now, although I knew I wasn’t full of grace, I recognized that I tried my best to stay in God’s graces and strive to please Him. God knows my heart and the great love I have for Him. Maybe He was trying to encourage me with these words. As the thoughts went through my mind, I tried to believe and allow them to soak into my soul.

     I continued, “The Lord is with you.” As I prayed those words, I felt the love of God pour into my heart! He was speaking to me. He was trying to reassure me and take away my doubts and fears. He wanted me to allow this truth to penetrate deep within my soul. “The Lord IS with me. The Lord IS with ME!” He will never leave me or forsake me – even when I feel like His is not with me or that He is far away – He is not! These words were balm for my soul! I was able to receive them!

     I continued, “Blessed are you among women.” The uncomfortableness returned. I wasn’t sure how to receive this one. For Mary, it was so true, but how could I receive this word?

     As I continued to pray, it occurred to me that God had truly blessed me. I was not perfect nor sinless like Mary, but blessed with many gifts, talents and graces. I was blessed not above all women, like Our Lady, but along with many wonderful gracefilled women that inhabit God’s glorious earth. Seeing it from this perspective, I could accept this part as well.

    I then moved to the next phrase. “And blessed is the fruit of your womb.” I was so very blessed to have five wonderful children, but somehow, I did not feel as though it was my children to whom that this scripture was referring. I saw it instead as times I was “pregnant” with a specific task that God had placed on my heart to bring to life.

     Although I had been faithful in doing what I believed God had asked me to do, the results, to my eyes, were lacking. I had not brought forth new life. My efforts resulted in disappointment or heartbreak.

     I did not feel blessed in this area. This made me feel sad. I was not able to see this blessing or accept it. I’d let it go till later, realizing I would have to ponder this further and ask for God’s light.

     Later that day, I met a friend for prayer. She had been at our gathering the night before and could sense my disappointment with my “word.” I shared with her my thoughts and ponderings and how I was able to receive most of it. It was the part about “the fruits of my womb – my works – being blessed. That was the part I could not accept.

     She disagreed with my “assessment” of my works. She did not see them as a failure or not blessed by God. She affirmed me in my obedience and faithfulness to God in accomplishing what He asks me to do. She suggested that we offer up our holy hour that God would help me to see His truth in this situation. She encouraged me to trust that God was pleased with all that I had offered to Him and that He had taken it as a gift.

     As I sat there before Jesus, in the Blessed Sacrament, I prayed with all my heart! I did not want to reject this beautiful gift that He had shared with me through my friend the night before.

     I again began to pray the words: “Hail, full of grace. The Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women” – I could feel grace fill my soul – but now, the part which I had really been struggling with was next. “And blessed is the fruit of your womb.” As I prayed those words, I asked to be receptive to what God wanted to give to me. I asked that He give me eyes to see and ears to hear. God touched my mind and heart. He assured me that my works had been blessed and I had given birth to new life. God had received my works as the gift of love for which I had meant them to be. Maybe they hadn’t met my expectations for “success,” as the world sees them, but in His eyes, they are.

     Tears streamed down my cheeks, as a smile came upon my face. This word was meant for me! God had whispered in my friend’s ear what He wanted me to know. It wasn’t random. She hadn’t misunderstood. I could now accept it as coming from God. God has made me fruitful.

     “Blessed IS the fruit of your womb” (Lk 1: 42b).

     “Blessed is she who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled”          (Lk 1: 45).

     “Amen!”
    
    
    

Monday, December 5, 2016

Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!

 “Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!”  


     The longing in our hearts and souls for Jesus to come and be one with us can, at times, be overwhelming! Like the psalmist, we cry: “O God, You are my God, for You I long; for You my soul is thirsting. My body pines for You, like a dry, weary land without water” (psalm 63:2). 

     As I was busy cleaning my upstairs, I felt a sadness in my heart. I could not put my finger on its source or origin.

     Sure, we were into the busy season of “doing,” with Christmas just weeks away, but I was in really good shape! My house was decorated, my shopping almost accomplished, and my cards mailed.

     I was delighted that I was ahead of the game for a change. This allowed me the freedom to focus on Christ, the true meaning of Christmas – so why did I feel so sad?

     That was just it! My focus was on Jesus. I had already mounted the donkey with Mary, who was heavy with Child, as St. Joseph held the reigns of my Advent journey. 

     I was journeying with them. Although I felt the love of Mary and Joseph for our blessed Lord, I also felt the pain and rejection that they and He experienced and still experience.

     It is a pain similar to what a parent feels, when their child is left out; when their child is not chosen for the team; when a friend betrays them; when a friend rejects or does not believe in them. It is a pain like no other: the feeling of not being loved. Jesus is rejected and not loved by so many! 
     “He came unto His own and His own received Him not” (Jn 1:11).

     As I recognized the source of my pain, I thanked God for the insight. I also thanked Him for the privilege of sharing in His pain. I asked that He unite my pain with His to make it efficacious, most especially for those who do not think about Him or have rejected Him. I told Jesus that I hoped that my sharing in His pain would lessen His suffering. Although it did not go away, it now made sense. It was not useless or fruitless. It was full of meaning and could help console the heart of Jesus.

     When we love someone, we long to be with them. When they suffer, we do as well. When that Person is God, the feelings are so much deeper – there is an infinity to them. The truth is that our longing in itself causes a suffering within our hearts and souls, but when we suffer with Them, our pain is greatly increased.

     Our yearning and longing for God is truly a gift! But it is one that we don’t always recognize and mistake it for something else. When those deep feelings of longing, those intense feelings of yearning come into your heart, see it for what it truly is – God seeking your love! Jesus, thirsting for your love! 

     This Advent season, climb upon the donkey with Our Lady, pregnant with Jesus. Allow St. Joseph to lead you on your journey. Spend time with them. Converse with them. Give them your love and your heart. Feel baby Jesus as He moves within His Mother. Rejoice that He is coming! Share His joy – share His sorrow and disappointments. Make up with love for all who have forgotten Him. Gather gifts of selfless acts to offer to Him throughout this time of preparation. Rejoice that you are aware of His coming. Ready your heart to welcome Him on Christmas morning.

Stay awake! Keep alert! Jesus is coming! Don’t allow your feelings or duties to distract you from the true Reason for the Season – the birth of Christ!
    
    
    
    
    
    
     
    

Monday, November 28, 2016

The Many Faces of Jesus

     “We must all grow in a clear conviction of our duty to be holy as Jesus is holy. Holiness is one of the most beautiful gifts a human heart can offer to God. We should serve Jesus in His poor by doing for them the things we would like to do for Him. This is where sanctity is hidden for us: in knowing Jesus, in loving Jesus in the people around us. If we do this, we will become professionals in holiness.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   St. Teresa of Calcutta


     We are all called to be holy – to become another Christ, to be selfless and centered on someone, other than ourselves. Mother Teresa tells us that one of the ways we can do this, is by serving Jesus in the poor, by doing things for them that we would like to do for Him.

     Because most of us do not have the opportunity to serve the poor as Mother Teresa did, we may think that this takes us off the hook. It does not!

     St. Teresa is clear that serving Jesus in the poor, is serving the very people who are around us – the people whom we come in contact, day in and day out: our family, our friends, strangers, our colleagues, people who work in the grocery and department stores, and everyone we meet!

     Seeing the hidden Jesus in everyone is often difficult for us. We can deceive ourselves into thinking that He really can’t be present in that person with whom we struggle, or in that grouchy so and so. It’s difficult to see Jesus in people whom we judge to be unlike Him; those who are curt, unkind, or unkempt. No, Jesus couldn’t be there! 

     We can also forget that Jesus is in our children, our spouses, our friends and neighbors. Jesus is right there, waiting for us to recognize Him – to give Him our love and our heart. We don’t always see Him and miss the opportunity to grow in holiness. We fool ourselves by thinking that holiness would be easier achieved by running off to Calcutta to serve the poor, rather than serving those God has placed in our midst.

     Do not fret! With Advent upon us, we are entering into one of the greatest times, filled with countless opportunities to put this into practice. Advent is a time to ready our hearts for Jesus. It’s a time to open our hearts and welcome Him. It’s when we get to put on the eyes of our heart and look for Him, in each and every person we meet. Unlike the people of Bethlehem, we do not want to send Him away because we did not recognize Him.

     So, while we’re out shopping, see the face of Jesus, while at home, see the face of Jesus, at work or in the car, see the face of Jesus, or in whomever we’re with, see the face of Jesus. Force yourself to believe, especially when it is in ordinary or difficult circumstances. Then, with your vision adjusted, give Jesus a kind word, smile or your love. It won’t be easy, but with God’s help, it is possible. Don’t waste an opportunity! Use this time to practice, practice, practice – it does not come natural for most of us.

     There will be many times when you’ll forget, or when it will be a stretch to see Jesus because He is wearing a distressing disguise. But, be patient with yourself, realizing that it will take some time and practice till your vision is changed. Although reaching holiness is not easy, it is God’s will for us and is the most beautiful gift our human heart can offer to Him. God will help you! Ask for His assistance.

     Each day when you arise, ask the Holy Spirit to help you see Christ in all you will meet that day. Ask Mary to give you her heart to love, her eyes to see, and her words to speak to all. Beg for the openness to accept the graces that God showers upon you each day to grow in awareness and holiness. Pray to Mother Teresa to intercede for you that you may grow in holiness, by doing all the things for others, that you would like to do for Jesus.

     Like St. Teresa of Calcutta, you will become a professional in holiness!

     “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers, you did for Me” (Mt 25:40).
    
    

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Remember and Rejoice

     “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  
                                                                                                            Psalm 118:24


     As I read those words, my heart cringed! I did not greet each day in that manner. In fact, those thoughts do not typically even come to mind most days.

     It pains me to admit my guilt because God is a great part of my life. My day begins with quiet prayer time and then Mass and Holy Communion. It is followed by reading daily devotionals to challenge and cement my walk with the Lord. He is on my mind throughout the day. I converse with Him continually as He journeys beside me. So, of what am I guilty?

     I am guilty of forgetting that the Lord has made this day – each and every day. He is involved with every part of it. It is filled with His presence and His grace. That very fact should cause a deep rejoicing within my being. It should uplift my spirit and give me great confidence and peace. Yet, even aware of His presence with me, there are many days I do not rejoice, nor feel glad!

     Instead, I’m busy doing all the things that need to get accomplish. The “to do” list never seems to shorten. As I’ve aged, I thought life would slow down some, but it has not. Also, as my family has grown, so have the joys and the struggles. The joys I find delightful. It’s the struggles that can weigh me down. Being burdened and busy is no excuse for neglecting to rejoice in God. So, what is out of sync?

     Have I become complacent or begun to take God and His graces and blessings for granted? You know, like after years of marriage, you can sometimes take your spouse for granted and not appreciate them. Have I become so “used” to God that I have stopped seeing all that He does for me? Have I forgotten where I would be without Him? Is it not true, that everything I do can give Him glory and that each task is my to offering to God? This is my path to holiness and heaven, and my life, as crazy and hectic as it is, is my gift to Him – and His gift to me!

     I need to refocus. I have to allow this psalm to become my morning, afternoon and evening prayer. I need to be reminded because I can forget. I want to give God my all, by letting go of my heavy, weary heart. My desire should be to bring God glory, as I accept each day with a heart full of joy. I want to remember each and every day of my life, that He has made this day for me. I need to remember that God is God and I am not. I am not called to solve every problem, nor can I.

     God will be there with His graces to help me to overcome myself, when I get weighed down with the burdens of life. He wants me to rejoice, even when life does not go the way I like. He wants me to trust that He has a plan that will sanctity me, if I cooperate with His graces. He wants me to soak in His love and His graces and not just go through the motions. I need to be aware and awake to God’s goodness and love, and never take it for granted. I long to rest in His love and allow the joy to rise within my heart. I have to trust Him more fully, so I can rejoice and be glad in whatever unfolds in my day.

     Oh my dear sweet God! I do love You so very much, but can be burdened and distracted by the duties and worries of life. Help me to be conscious that this is the day that You have made. Nothing is in it that can separate me from You and the joy You long to give me. Let me rejoice and not allow anything to rob my joy and trust in You. May I always remember that You will provide me with the grace that I need to accomplish Your holy will. Nothing happens from which You cannot bring good. Everything is grace!

     “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope” (Jer 29:11).

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Astonishing Revelation

     “To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that love is the reason for my existence, for God is love. Love is my true identity. Selflessness is my true self. Love is my true character. Love is my name. If therefore, I do anything or think anything or say anything or know anything that is not purely for the love of God, it cannot give me peace, or rest, or fulfilment, or joy. To find love I must enter into the sanctuary where it is hidden, which is the mystery of God.”    
                                                                                                                   Thomas Merton


     I was struggling with a particular relationship for a good while. Over time, I could see I was distancing myself from them. I was not calling or communicating with this person as frequently, as I had previously. I had justified my change of behavior as warranted. There was a change: they were acting differently.

     I was also struggling with some challenging circumstances myself and was not on my “A game.” It was a lot of work for me to act like everything was okay when I was in their company. I did not want to share my struggles with them. Even though I truly did love this person, I could feel a wall rising between us. I did not want to end the relationship; I would just do what I thought necessary and no more. I had to protect myself.

     My plan managed to fool me for a little while. We have a way of justifying circumstances when it is difficult to deal with them. I needed to convince myself and believe that what I was doing was right, especially before God. He sees into our hearts, minds, wounds and motives. We cannot hide the truth from Him.

     I began to struggle with my decision. I tried and tried to be at peace with it, but it was haunting me. Was I being a hypocrite or was I truly protecting myself from additional pain? I wasn’t sure. I felt uncertain. I would go back and forth with my conclusions, wrestling within myself.

     I was aware that as we grow closer to God, He often allows situations to test and purify our love. He calls us to love unconditionally as He does. He was giving me a perfect opportunity to do so, yet I wanted to run as far away from this call to love. I wanted to give Him all the reasons and excuses that I did not have to love like He does, in this instance, anyway.

     Thanks, be to God, I do enter into the sanctuary where Love is hidden. While spending time with God in private prayer, as well as before the Blessed Sacrament, He began to reveal my heart to me. He began to allow me to see myself from the perspective of the other person. He allowed me to see the confusion and hurt they were feeling. They were perplexed at the way my actions had changed toward them. He allowed me to see that they too were carrying struggles and burdens.

      God was opening my eyes up to see someone other than myself. He was giving me His eyes, mind, heart and love for this person. He was dilating my stingy, shriveled heart into a heart more like His, filled with merciful and generous love.

     This realization allowed me to see I had not been reflecting God’s image. My behavior was screaming that love was not the reason for my existence. I was not acting as if love was my true identity, that selflessness was my true self, that love was my true character or that love was my name. In this relationship, I was living a lie and God knew it. Now I did.

     I was astonished at this revelation! I truly had not seen it before. I asked God for forgiveness and drank in His mercy. I thanked Him for His great love for me in pointing out my behavior. I take my relationship with God quite seriously and never want to hold on to sin or justify unloving behavior. My heart was filled with peace, rest, fulfilment and joy! I immediately began to think of ways to “make it up” to this person for my lack of love. God had filled my heart with His love for them and I welcomed the occasions to pour it down upon them.

     Later that week, this great gift of God was culminated by receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Even though I had already asked God for His forgiveness, it felt wonderful to be assured through the priest, who sits in Persona Christi, through the words of absolution. I was grateful as well, for all the graces I received to carry out my new plan of loving.

     I’d like to say that I’ve learned my lesson on loving as God does, and I’ve passed onto the next class, but loving as He does will be a lifelong challenge. It does not come easy. But our God is a patient God and knows all our wounds and weaknesses. He will never give up on us. May we never give up on ourselves.

     “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. If we love one another, God remains in us, and His love is brought to perfection in us” (Jn 4: 7-8,12).
    
    
 

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Unmet Expectations

     Expectations – We all have them! We often don’t even realize their power over us until they go unmet. Then suddenly they become big and fierce and overwhelming. They knock us to our knees and distort our vision. We begin to look at the world through the lens of our great disappointment and loose our joy!

     Expectations vary: being married, having children, good health both for you and your loved ones, family unity, no drug or alcohol addictions, no financial problems, good and faithful friends, happy marriage, good children, family members practicing their faith, successful careers, vacations, down time, not too much stress, being loved, feeling appreciated, and so on.

     We have expectations of people: how they should act, what they should or shouldn’t say, the level of involvement they should have in our lives, how they should think about matters we see as important, and the like.

          And then we have expectations for specific occasions: good weather, good attendance, everything going smoothly, good health, low stress and a lovely time.

     And lastly, but of vital importance, we have expectations even of God: if He really loved me, my life would be easier, bad things wouldn’t happen, and all would be well!

     Truth be told, our expectations are often unrealistic. We want life to unfold as we imagine it should. When it doesn’t, we feel crushed. We expect others to be and act as we do. When they don’t, we do not understand and don’t even give them room to explain. Our minds are made up. They fell short. Why did we expect more from them? Why did we expect more from God?

     Believing that life should turn out as we would like is ludicrous! We are not in heaven. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. We are not perfect, nor is anyone else. We will be disappointed and will disappoint others. We need to come to grips with the idea that this life is passing. We will have happy moments here, but they will be fleeting. Our goal is heaven where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. Behold, I make all things new” (Rv 21:4-5).

     Heaven is God’s promise to us. It gives us something to look toward when life is difficult and challenging – when our expectations are dashed and we are tempted to allow the evil one to rob us of our joy. We must not give him the power over us and our emotions. We need to remember that if Papa has allowed this particular situation, it must somehow be for our eternal good. We have to look at the whole picture and not just the part that is, in our eyes, out of line with our vision of how life should be. We have to remember that we are a work in progress and if we place our trust in God, these difficult times can make us into saints.

     The saints didn’t start out as saints. They were sinners just like us who just kept trying. Relying on the graces received from God and through His Sacraments, when life’s expectations were not met, they kept believing and trusting in God. They did not allow their disappointments to steer them from their goal of reaching holiness.

     What is another key to being able to trust and surrender to life’s happenings? Through grace you will believe in the goodness of God and trust in His tremendous love for you. Knowing that He will bring good from everything – even the really difficult stuff, is a gift! In our humanity, this is very hard for us to believe, but it’s God’s truth. The saints practiced this truth by thanking and praising God in all things.

     St. Teresa of Calcutta was known for saying, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job1:21). Her trust in God was total and complete. She lived in darkness, yet held fast to God and His goodness.

     Jesus told St. Faustina that when she did not trust Him, it wounded Him deeply. She too was to praise and thank God for everything.

     We can’t forget St. Therese, who wrote in her biography, “Jesus does not demand great actions from us but, simply surrender and gratitude. Has He not said: ‘Offer to God the sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving?” (Ps 49:14).

     Giving thanks and praise to God in ALL THINGS is a tall order! It takes a heroic amount of grace to even entertain the idea of beginning this practice. Yet, I’m weary and tired of allowing the joy that the Lord wants to give me to be stolen. I want to correct my vision and look at life’s situations through the eyes of my heavenly Father. I want to let go of expectations and learn to trust, especially when everything tells me not to. I want to praise and thank God because it will give Him joy! It will show Him just how much I love Him and trust in His great love for me. It won’t be easy, but with the help of God and His great communion of saints, it is possible.

     “Joy isn’t found in the material objects surrounding us, but in the inner recesses of the soul. One can possess joy in a prison cell as well as in a palace (St. Therese).

     Deepen your trust in God. Let go of unmet expectations. Stop the thief in his tracks. Don’t allow him to rob you of your joy. Praise and thank God instead!

     “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes:18).
 
    
    
    

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Stand Firm

     “A man must go through a long and great conflict in himself before he can learn fully to overcome himself, and to draw his whole affection towards God. When a man stands upon himself he is easily drawn aside after human comforts. But a true lover of Christ, and a diligent pursuer of virtue, does not hunt after comforts, nor seek such sensible sweetnesses, but is rather willing to bear strong trials and hard labors for Christ.”                
                                                                               Thomas a’ Kempis


     I claim and long to be a true lover of Christ, but lately, I have very much felt like St. Paul: “The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want” (Rm. 7: 18b-19).

     For the last few months, I have been struggling so much in areas of my life with issues which, for quite some time, I thought I had overcome. What used to be easy and effortless, is now, more difficult than previously. I was under the impression that the battles I had fought so hard to win and overcome, were behind me. Boy, was I mistaken!

     “When an unclean spirit goes out of a person it roams through arid regions searching for rest but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my home from which I came.’ But returning, it finds it empty, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and brings back with itself seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they move in and dwell there; and the last condition of that person is worse than the first” (Mt. 12: 43-45).

     Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m possessed by an evil spirit, but by leaving my guard down, I had become somewhat proud. I had come “to stand upon myself and have allowed myself to be drawn after human comforts.” I had stopped listening to that little voice from the Holy Spirit, warning me about my weaknesses. I had depended far too much upon myself, and lost my footing. I had become soft and lost my stamina to engage the enemy within. At times, I have even forgotten that there is a battle!

     In the past, when I had overcome “myself,” it was with much effort. I had to work very hard and depend upon God completely. I knew that I was weak and helpless. I did not trust myself, but put my trust in God. Humility was my strength. I recognized my littleness and helplessness. But at the same time, I knew that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Ph 4:13).

     I want to take back “my home.” I want Christ to “sweep it out for me and put it in order.” I no longer want to feel like the Pharisees, “who cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with plunder and evil” (Lk 11: 39-40).  I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite. I want God to be the tenant in my home. I want Him to occupy my heart fully. I want to be free once again!

     “For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery” (Gal 5:1). “For you were called to freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh” (Gal 5:13).

     St. Paul tells us that we must not submit to “our flesh.” I have said yes to myself, far too much lately. I need to learn to say no. I do not want to produce the fruits of the flesh, but those of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22).

     If I live by the Spirit and listen to His promptings I will grow in His glorious fruits, one of which is self- control. It is not something I can just muster on my own – not for long anyway! As I try to live a virtuous life, I need and long for all the other fruits of the Spirit to assist me. I cannot fight this battle without them, nor bear the trials and labors which present themselves daily.

     I need to look beyond myself and look to God and His great love for me. When we truly love someone, we are willing to do all that we can to prove our love. So easily forgetting ourselves, thinking only of them, we are willing to die to all that separates us. I have to reject and say no to all that keeps me from truly loving God. I cannot do this on my own. I need God’s help. I need His love and mercy!

     In my previous post, The Wonders of God’s Ways, we discovered that Jesus’ heart burns with His graces of love and mercy which are rejected by many. He is looking for souls to receive these graces. I do not want to be counted among those who reject Christ's love, nor do you. I don’t want to the one who turns her back on Christ for a fleeting pleasure. I’m certain you do not either. In our times of temptation, when we are tempted to give in to the desires of our flesh, run to Jesus instead. We mustn’t ignore His call. It is the yearning and deep desire of our souls to be filled with Him. The passing things of this world will not fill us! Let us ask Christ to pour, in abundance, the rejected love and mercy that is bringing pain to His Heart. In return, we’ll shower Jesus with our love, as we turn our eyes toward Him. He will strengthen us. He will carry us when necessary.

     Don’t give up the fight; God will become your All!
   
    
    

Friday, October 14, 2016

The Wonder of God's Ways

     “I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces. The flames of mercy are burning Me. I desire to pour them out on human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them! I am looking for souls who would like to receive My grace.”                                              
                                                                                        Jesus to St. Faustina


     When Rachel read those words about 6 months ago, they penetrated her heart! Christ was speaking directly to her!

     Saddened by the pain Christ experienced when souls reject His love and grace, Rachel felt convicted to do something to help. In order to console Him, Rachel planned to beg Jesus to bestow on her, all the love and graces He had to give, that was rejected by others. She would practice this devotion when she received Jesus in Holy Communion and during her prayer time

     Being a daily communicant, Rachel couldn’t wait to add this beautiful practice to her time of thanksgiving with Jesus in Holy Communion. It brought joy to her heart each time she brought consolation and love to Christ’s Heart, by asking for the unsought love and graces. She smiled, both inside and out, when she thought about the benefits of her great find: she not only relieved the pain and suffering of Jesus, but she would receive extra love and grace. It was a win/win situation and she delighted in the way it had enhanced her reception of Holy Communion, as well as her prayer time.

                                                                 Fast forward six months.

     Rachel is at Mass. A young girl is sitting next to her. The girl is texting, checking her email, and whatever else she could do on her phone while Mass is being celebrated.

     Rachel is feeling very distracted by the girl’s actions. She wants to do or say something, but holds back. The consecration is about to begin. Rachel is hoping that the girl will have the good sense to at least stop during this very sacred time. She does not. Rachel’s feelings move from distraction, to being very upset!

        It was now time to for Communion. While Rachel was coming back to her seat, after receiving Jesus, she felt like her heart could break. The young girl was so oblivious to all the love and graces that Jesus wanted to give her. Rachael eyes filled with tears. As Rachel is speaking with Jesus and asking for His rejected love and mercy, Jesus speaks to her heart. He tells her that this girls’ actions are a perfect example of the way He is rejected. He is right there, waiting to pour His love and mercy upon her, and she is totally unaware of Him and His presence – even after having received Him in Holy Communion.

     Rachel cries inwardly from the depth of her heart, “Oh my Lord Jesus! Please forgive her. She does not know what she is doing.  I’ll take the love and mercy that she is rejecting. Pour it down on me. Pour it down on her as well. She doesn’t even know that it’s there for the taking.” Once more, Rachel asked Jesus to forgive the girl.

     Mass was over. Rachel left Church feeling distraught and heavy hearted.

     Several days had passed since the incident at Mass. Rachel thought about the girl and prayed for her. She had a difficult time understanding the young girl’s indifference to the treasures Jesus wanted to share. She would continue to pray for the girl. Maybe that’s why they were seated together . . .  God wanted Rachel to pray for her.

     The following week was particularly challenging for Rachel. Whatever could go wrong did. She was weary, tired, cranky and frazzled. By the end of the week, Rachel felt like she had no control of anything in her life. She needed some comfort. She wanted to do something for herself. Her entire week had been spent on others; she desperately needed some kind of reprieve!

     Rachel turned to her own devices and after indulging, she realized that she did not even enjoy it. She felt guilty. It had not taken away her negative feelings, in fact, it had added to their weight.

     While sitting, chastising herself for her actions, she heard the sweet voice of Jesus. “Rachel, remember the other day at Mass, when you were upset about the young girl on her phone, and you couldn’t understand why? You have just done the same thing.

     “You had a bad week, but you always have a choice. You could have come to Me. I was waiting for you with My grace and merciful love. You choose instead to turn away from Me and go to your own devices, rejecting Me and My gifts. Rachel, I want to be the One you run to when life is difficult. I want to fill you with My love, mercy and graces, not only at Holy Communion, but anytime! I am here. I can fill you. Come to Me. I love you and want what’s best for you. Other things will leave you empty. I will not.”

     Rachel could not believe her ears! She would have not ever imagined, that she could be like the young girl who had blatantly ignored Jesus. She felt ashamed of her actions. Remorse and contrition filled her soul. She did not mean to hurt Jesus. She would never want to hurt Him. Rachel loved to bring Him joy and happiness! She was filled with sorrow. Rachel asked Jesus to forgive her. She then realized the reason she had been seated beside the young girl: to learn that she too can choose to reject or turn towards Jesus’ merciful love and grace. He is always there, waiting to pour it down upon us. We only have to ask.

    Previously, Rachel hadn’t realized that she could practice this devotion outside of her prayer time and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion. This realization opened up vast new opportunities for her to soothe the Heart of Jesus. She now felt excited. God has used her fall to teach her a valuable lesson!

     Little did Rachel realize, that her new “spiritual friend,” would have such a positive impact on her relationship with God. Her friends’ poor actions would help her and others to grow closer to God. The power of evil was crushed by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The wonder of God’s ways!

    Rachel, my dear sister, shared this story with me because she knew it could help me in my struggle towards holiness. I asked if she’d mind if I shared it with you. She gave me her blessing!

     Let us follow Rachel’s lead. Let us relieve the burning heart of Jesus, by begging Him for the rejected love and mercy that He longs to pour upon souls. Let us make this our practice, not only in our time of prayer and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, but throughout our day as well. May we especially turn to Jesus, in our moments of weakness and temptation. He is there waiting for us, with all the love and graces that we need to fill our hearts like a banquet. We only need to ask!

     Jesus longs and thirsts for our love. Slake His thirst by allowing Him to pour His love and mercy upon you. Relieve His pain and bring joy to His heart! Allow His love to fill you to the brim. Everything else will leave you empty!

     “Thus I will bless you while I live; lifting up my hands, I will call upon Your name. As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied, and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise You” (Psalm 63: 5-6).  

    “O my Strength, it is You to whom I turn, for You, O God, are my stronghold, the God who shows me love” (Psalm 59:18).
    
    
    
    
                                               

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Look to Heaven and Smile

     “The soul that does not attach itself solely to the will of God will find neither satisfaction nor sanctification in any other means however excellent by which it may attempt to gain them. If that which God Himself chooses for you does not content you, from whom do you expect to obtain what you desire? . . . No soul can be really nourished, fortified, purified, enriched, and sanctified except in fulfilling the duties of the present moment.”                                                                                                                                                            Fr Jean-Pierre de Caussade


     Being purified of our own self-will is one of the most difficult aspects of growing in sanctity! Our wills are alive and well and do not like to be crossed! Our daily plans often get changed, much to our displeasure, and it is rare we accept them in peace.

      If we peered into a mirror to look upon our demeanor, it would become clear to us, as it is to all around us, that we are anything but peace filled. We mumble, grumble and may even growl at those who are near. We are not a picture of sanctity, but rather resemble a bratty child who has not gotten their way! 

     We are called to resemble our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whose food was to do the will of His Father. Jesus was clear in His call to His disciples: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Lk 9: 23-24).

     “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God” (Lk 9: 62). We need to let go of our will. We need to let go and not look back and to what we wanted. Trusting instead, that the situation that has presented itself, is God’s way for us to grow in holiness. It may not be to our choosing or to our liking, but it is for our best. Believing this will often take a heroic act of the will on our part. God will give us the grace to surrender our will. We need to accept the grace, believe that is present to us, and act as though it is . . . whether we feel it or not.

     Father de Caussaude is clear. It is in fulfilling the duties of the present moment—the situations right in front of us – those we have planned and those we have not -- which will nourish, fortify, purify, enrich and sanctify our soul. It is our path to holiness. It is the narrow path that our Lord speaks about that few choose.

     Each and every day, life presents to us many ways to put this into practice. If you’re like me, practice has still not made perfect – far from it. And it is sainthood that our good God is calling us to achieve; that does not come easily!


     So, when you have gone from plan A to plan G and it’s only 9 a.m., when your car breaks down or your pipes are leaking, when your children are sick or your loved one needs your help, when you’re once again called to do what you’d really rather not be doing, rejoice and be glad! God is giving you another opportunity to grow in holiness.

     Look up to heaven and smile. God is just doing His job trying to strengthen our spiritual muscles until we grow in likeness to His Son, Jesus.

     You know how the saying goes: If you want to make God smile, tell Him your plans for the day. If you want to hear Him belly laugh, tell Him your plans for your life.

     God’s plans for our lives are not always easy, but when we cooperate and operate in His grace, the results are always heavenly!

     Stop resisting. Give in. Father does know best!
     
    
    
     
    
    
    

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

The Present Moment -- What a Gift

   One example of the wisdom of God is that He does not reveal the future to us. This is truly a mercy!

    Many of us would have wanted to run away in order to avoid the difficult events that have occurred in our lives. But truth be told, it was those very events that helped us to grow in strength and virtue – helped us become the man or woman we are today.

     Even with that said, thinking about living with difficulties in the future is still frightening! The “unknown” in itself can be unnerving, but when you add all the “what ifs” that our imagination can conjure up, our fear can be endless. Thanks be to God, most of them never come about anyway, yet we allow ourselves to venture into the future where we may never tread.

     And then of course, there’s the past!

      We revisit memories that are filled with regrets and hurts. We beat ourselves up with the “should haves, would haves, could haves, and whys,” and experience the pain and regrets all over again. We allow the past to wound us again and again, till our wound is once more festering and raw.

     Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we torture ourselves by revisiting the past or delving into the future? Why do we give in to the temptation to move from the present moment where God’s grace is located? We get trapped instead, feeling anxious and burdened.

     God’s grace is neither in the past nor the future!

     It is the devil’s aim to keep us from staying in the present moment. He knows if he can keep us in the past or the future, we’re doomed. God’s grace is not there. GOD IS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT – and so is His grace!

     The present moment is all that we have really anyway. It is the only offering that we can give to God. We need to stay close to our Papa and not allow ourselves to venture into the pain of the past or the unknown territory of the future. We have to keep hold of our Papa’s hand and stay with Him right here in the present moment. He will shower us with all the graces we need to navigate through our lives – with all its up’s and downs.

     This is not a new problem for mankind. It is evident from the writings of the saints, that many of them struggled with this temptation.

     St. Augustine advised us long ago: “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love and the future to God’s providence.”

    And then the words of wisdom from St. Francis de Sales: “Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.  
  
     Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

     Be at peace then, put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.”

     And lastly, the beautiful prayer of St. Faustina. Let us make it our own:

     “O my God, when I look into the future, I am frightened, but why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, as the future may never enter my soul at all.

     It is no longer in my power, to change, correct or add to the past; for neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

     O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me Your omnipotence.

      And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk like a little child, offering to You each day this heart burning with love for Your greater glory.”

     St. Augustine, St. Frances de Sales, and St. Faustina please pray for us! Pray that we may cooperate with God’s grace to stay in the present moment. Intercede for us that we may learn to trust God with every fiber of our being. Ask that God will help us to let go of the spirit of fear so we can receive the peace that He longs to bestow upon us. May our lives be one continual FIAT as we abide in the loving heart of the Father. Amen!
                                                                                    
    
   
    
    


        

Monday, September 12, 2016

Mary -- My Mother -- My Teacher

     “Your prayer, like all things, rests entirely in the hands of the Father. As you spend time with Mary in prayer, and as she reveals her heart to you, she will share with you how she is able to receive the Father’s love in all circumstances, whether holding Jesus in her arms at Bethlehem or Calvary. Mary’s pure heart is able to accept divine love in every moment, even when her circumstances are painful. Mary has utter trust in the Father’s care for her, and she is completely surrendered to His will, even to the point of offering her dear Son at Calvary without any resistance. Mary will show you how to trust completely, how to admit the Father’s love into every circumstance, and how to allow Him to have total control of your life, in the confidence that He will stay with you. By being with Mary at Calvary, she shares with you her freedom to allow God to love as He chooses and in the measure that He desires. No part of Mary’s life is protected from God; everything is His. Mary leads you into this experience from the inside, from her own awareness of God and from her own willingness to let Him be everything for  her.                                                                                           
 Good counsel from a wise and holy priest


     These precious words were given to me in spiritual direction over five and a half years ago. Since that time, I have meditated on these words, again and again, trying to glean and receive from Mary, my mother, this awesome lesson of trust.

     Learning to accept and receive Papa’s love when circumstances are painful, is not something that comes natural to me. Often like a frightened little child, I want to run and hide – fleeing from the pain – hoping it will just disappear. The thought that my heavenly Father has allowed it, does not give me comfort but sets me in confusion. My reaction points out how very far I am from complete surrender and trust in the love of the Father. My vision is skewed. I do not yet see life as Mary does.

    “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5: 8).

     Unlike my mother Mary, my heart is not pure. I do not always see God nor feel His love in difficult circumstances. My heart is wounded by my own sins and by the pain inflicted by others. In my woundedness, I fear the cost of consciously making myself vulnerable. I fear laying aside my own will when receiving all the burden of life’s circumstances – and accepting the will of God without resistance. Nevertheless, I am well aware that I cannot control every aspect of my life, nor the lives of those I love. Life will have its way and things will happen that will be painful and difficult. And though I try to resist the idea of surrender, something deep within my mind and heart calls me to beg and plead to my Mother that I may receive this special grace from God.

     This desire causes me to want to spend time with Mary at Calvary, so she may share with me her freedom to allow God to love me as He chooses and in the measure He desires. I long to give all to God and not close any area of my life to Him as “off limits.” I yearn to truly learn from Mary how to accept God’s divine love in every moment of my life – painful times as well as joyous. I desire to stop hiding behind a chair, like a frightened child, and run to my Papa’s arms instead – receiving the love that He longs to lavish upon me. My hope is that my Mother Mary will teach me and lead me to allow God, my heavenly Father, to be everything for me.

     Although I have progressed in this area, it is clear I have much to learn and surrender. God ALONE knows the remaining time I have on this earth and He will adjust my lessons accordingly. Until He calls me home, I will continue to be a pupil in the school of Mary, praying to her Spouse the Holy Spirit, asking Him to fill me with His gifts and graces to respond fully that I may become a true daughter of my Mother Mary!
    
         
    

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Father's Response

     “Prayers are God-filled words in which our love and God’s love are joined. That love embraces the people for whom we are praying, and love changes people and situations. This doesn’t mean that we will always get what we want, but Jesus does promise we will get what we need.”                                                                                                                                Rev. Jude Winkler, O.F.M.

     “God loves me so much that He provides my every need. God’s providence disposes and directs everything for His honor and glory and for the good of my soul."                                                                                                                                                            Mother Angelica


     In our head, we know that both Father Jude’s and Mother Angelica’s statements speak truth. But in our heart, when life does not turn out the way we were hoping and praying it would, we are filled with doubt.

     Watching those we love suffer is difficult. We wish that we could take their place and relieve them of their pain. God will sometimes allow us to share in their suffering, but our loved ones still remain on the cross. It is difficult to see both God’s love and ours embracing them while their suffering continues. During times of trial, it is downright hard to believe we’ve received what we need!

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

The Light of Our Lives

     “Faith ought to be the light which envelops not only our moments of prayer but our whole life as well. In prayer we say, ‘I believe in God, the Father almighty’; but a few minutes afterwards, in the face of some difficult task, a tiresome person, or something which upsets our plans, we forget that these have all been willed and planned by God for our good. We forget that God is our Father, and therefore is more concerned about our welfare than we are ourselves. We forget that God is all-powerful and can help us in every difficulty. In losing sight of the light of faith, which makes us see everything as dependent upon God and ordered by Him for our good, we lose ourselves in merely human considerations and protests, as if God had nothing to do with our life or had very little place in it. We give way to discouragement as though we had no faith. Yes, we believe in God, the Father Almighty, but we do not believe to the point of seeing His will, or at least His permission, in every circumstance. And yet, until faith becomes such a factor in our life that it makes us see all in relation to God, and as dependent upon Him, we will not be able to say that the light of faith is the guide of our life. It is, of course, but only partially. How often this true light, which participates in the very light of God, remains hidden under the bushel of a mentality which is still too human, too earthly!                                                                                                                                                                                                            Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, OCD



     As I sat in Church that quiet summer afternoon, I felt weary! I had just experienced a very busy week that had exhausted me both physically and emotionally – and it wasn’t over yet – I still had many things to do and places to go. With my tank on empty, I realized I needed to be in the Eucharistic Presence of God and allow myself to be filled with Jesus and His love.

     When I am in a place of emptiness, I have found that writing a letter to God is helpful. I sat there with my pen and paper in hand and poured out my heart to my dear sweet Jesus. I wrote about everything and everyone that I was carrying. I was burdened and needed to hand it all over to Him. I knew He wouldn’t mind. He Himself told us, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up My yoke and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart: and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Mt 11: 28-30).

     When I finished the written part of my prayer, I began to verbalize, in my mind, what was troubling my heart. “Lord, give me faith the size of a mustard seed. Mine must be smaller than that because You tell us that if our faith was the size of a mustard seed, we could move a mountain. Right now I can’t seem to be able to move anything. Strengthen my faith. You know Jesus, I do believe. Help my unbelief!”

     With that prayer uttered, the flood gates opened. As my tears flowed, like a little child, I wanted to be with my Papa. I imaged myself running to Him, climbing on His lap. He opened His arms to me and held me close. Tears streamed down my face as some disappointing memories of life paraded before my mind. As each memory presented itself, I asked, “Why, Papa? Why?” The tears continued, as did the memories, as I sat face to face with life’s difficult mysteries. I didn’t understand why all of these hardships had occurred, or why my life was still “permeated” by some. I knew in my head that I may never understand the “whys” while I live here on earth, but that day, I had the courage to at least ask God the questions.

     Although I did not get an answer, a feeling of peace enveloped me. As I opened myself to God’s peace, from the depths of my heart a plea arose, my God, what do You want me to learn from all of this? What are You trying to teach me!

     As I sat in His stillness, I realized a truth I must never forget: God is my Papa! He cares about me like no one else. He only wants what is good for me and when things get difficult, He is there with me to guide me and fill me with His graces. Because of the stain of original sin, I sometimes make wrong choices. At times, to my detriment, my woundedness and my longing to be loved, blinds me to do far too much for others. It is my unconscious belief that my actions will repair damage that’s been inflicted. It hasn’t worked. I cannot “fix” what is broken. I must leave that to God and be patient and cooperate with His grace. My faith must be increased. Faith is KNOWNING that God KNOWS: believing that He really KNOWS what is happening and can handle things. I need to trust and allow the light of my faith to enable me to see things from this vantage point. God IS ALMIGHTY and brings about good from evil. Look at the crucifixion! It was followed by the resurrection. I need to be humble and trust God, embracing my place as the child of His heart.

     It so easy at times to forget that I am a sojourner and a wayfarer on this journey of life: heaven is my destination. I must grow in grace and virtue, as I navigate towards sanctification. At times, I must learn to walk in darkness, trusting the One who is mapping out my route. I must learn to listen to His promptings on the way and respond fully to them. He will not leave me to travel alone, but will accompany me every step of the way – whether I’m aware of Him or not.

     I pray one day that like Elizabeth of the Trinity, I may be able to proclaim: “Everthing that happens is a message to me of God’s great love for my soul.”

     Till then I pray: O my dear sweet God! I don’t want to hide the light of my faith under a bushel basket. I want it to shine and guide my whole life. I want to KNOW that You KNOW what is happening each moment and that I am totally dependent upon You for everything. Send me the Comforter – Your Holy Spirit – to reassure me on my journey and guide me. May He fill me with Your gifts, fruits and virtues, so I may not give in to discouragement. Help me to accept that all that happens is for my sanctity. Increase my faith.

     I believe Lord. Help my unbelief.
    
    
    
     
    



Friday, July 15, 2016

Become Whole-Hearted

     “An obvious sign of attachments is also your sadness in situations when God takes something away from you. He will, therefore, take that by which you are enslaved – hence everthing that is your greatest enemy, that which causes your heart not to be free for Him. It is when you start to accept this and do it cheerfully that you will become more and more free.
     During prayer in the presence of the Lord, show Him not only your empty but also dirty hands, defiled by the attachments to mammon, and pray that He will have mercy on you. Prayer can develop only in the atmosphere of freedom. As a disciple of Christ, you are called to prayer; and that is to contemplative prayer. For your prayer to become contemplation – that is, a loving gaze on Jesus Christ, your beloved – a free heart is essential. That is why Christ fights so much for your heart to be free. He fights through various events, through difficulties and storms, by putting you in difficult situations, all the while giving you a chance to cooperate intensively with grace. In all these situations, Christ expects that you will try to cleanse your heart, soiled by attachments and servitude to mammon. In this way, all these difficulties and all the storms are a grace for you. They are the passing by of the Merciful Lord, who loves you so much that He wants to give you this magnificent fight – the gift of total freedom of your heart. Your heart should not be divided, it should be a heart solely for Him.                                                                                                                                               To have faith means to see and understand your life’s sense in accordance with the Gospel – God is most important. Your life is to be aimed at Him: to seek and build primarily His kingdom believing that everything else will be given to you (Mt 6:33). God wants to bestow on each person all His love. However, He can gift a person only to the extent of his openness, of his readiness to be stripped of attachments, so that room may be made for Him. It is faith that creates in us this emptiness and vacuum for God.                                                                                                                                         Father Tadeusz Dajczer



     God wants your heart – your whole heart. He also wants you to be free, to love Him as you should. Jesus became man, suffered and died in order to give you this gift of freedom. Walk in that grace, realizing that it was bought with the blood of Christ.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Timeless Wisdom

     “Majestic sovereign, timeless wisdom, Your kindness melts my hard, cold soul. Handsome love, selfless giver, Your beauty fills my dull, sad eyes. I am Yours, You made me. I am Yours, You called me. I am Yours, You saved me. I am Yours, You loved me. I will never leave Your presence. Give me death, give me life. Give me sickness, give me health. Give me honor, give me shame. Give me weakness, give me strength. I will have whatever You give.” St. Teresa of Avila


     This beautiful prayer poem is entitled, “A Love Song.” It speaks of the deep, intimate relationship that St. Teresa had with her beloved spouse, Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Let Him Sleep

     “As Jesus got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but He was asleep. They came and woke Him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We are perishing!’  He said to them, ‘Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?’ Then He got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. The men were amazed and said, ‘What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?” Matthew 8:23-27


     So often, when we are faced with violent storms in our lives, we are filled with fear and dread! Like the disciples, our focus is on the wind, the crashing waves and the trashing of our little boat. We wait, expecting Jesus to intervene, but nothing happens to quell the storm in our hearts, minds and souls. We feel frightened and fear that we will be capsized into the deep, dark, ominous sea!

     As our fear mounts, we finally shout out to God. It seems to us that He has been sleeping. Is He unaware of our current situation? Does He really love us? Do we really matter to Him?

     Scripture tells us over and over again that we are loved and precious to our God. “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jer 31:3). “I have called you and you are Mine” (Is 43:1b). “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Joshua 1:5).

     In times of trouble, it seems as if we forget that very truth! Like the disciples we call out to Jesus, “Can’t You see that we are perishing? Wake up! Why are You sleeping when I need You?”

     Jesus’ reply to us is the same, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?”

     His words make our hearts sink. We do not want to be of little faith. We know that Jesus is God and is always with us. But, in our humanity, we forget and fall into the sea of doubt. We forget we are God’s little children, and expect far too much from ourselves. We need to recall our littleness and do what children do when they are afraid – go and cling to Jesus.

     As a parent of five, many a night, one of my children would crawl into bed with me when they awoke and were frightened. I did not chastise or send them back to their room. I allowed them to cuddle with me and held them tight until the fear faded away. They felt safe and would fall asleep in my arms.

     Do the same with Jesus. When the storms of life come and you feel as though He is asleep, instead of calling out to Him in desperation, run to Him. Let Him continue to sleep. Gaze upon Him with love. Cuddle up next to Him. Feel His strength. Feel His comfort. Place your head on His chest and listen to His sacred Heart -- beating with love for you. Maybe He’ll awaken and put His arms around You. Allow Him to do so. Whisper to Him all your worries and concerns. Remember that His is God and will give you the grace that you need to navigate through any storm – no matter how severe. Relax, realizing you are loved and cared about. Like a little child, fall asleep in Jesus’ arms – the strong arms that were stretched out on the cross to prove His great love for you. Experience the great calm, knowing you are not alone.

     Experiencing storms is going to happen to all of us, as we navigate the sea of life here on earth. Keep your eyes on Jesus, awake or asleep: He is the God of the universe, who is aware of everything and can quiet any storm. Remain little. As Jesus looks upon you with His love, allow Him to lift you above the storm, where the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

     But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of My hands I have written your name” (Is 49:14-15).
   
   
   

Thursday, June 23, 2016

The Rock

     “I turned every way, but there was no one to help me, I looked for one to sustain me, but could find no one. But then I remembered the mercies of the Lord, His kindness through ages past; For He saves those who take refuge in Him, and rescues them from every evil. So I raised my voice from the very earth, from the gates of the nether world, my cry, I called out: O Lord, You are my father, You are my champion and my savior; Do not abandon me in time of trouble, in the midst of storms and dangers.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sirach 51:7-10

     Life can change so suddenly and quickly! One minute everything is “our particular normal,” and the next moment, we feel like we’ve been rocketed into outer space – into an unfamiliar place with unknown territories that we will be forced to explore!

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Explore the Treasures - Part 5

     In this, the last segment of our series, we will look at how we should prepare ourselves to receive Our Lord in Holy Communion and after receiving Jesus, how we should treat so great a Guest.

     On the night before He died, Jesus gave Himself to us in the Eucharist. He wanted to be united with us in Holy Communion. The fact that our good God humbles Himself to become our food is almost beyond belief. His love for us is unfathomable! We must return love for love, and do our best to prepare our hearts and souls to receive Jesus.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Explore the Treasures -- Part 4

     At this point in our series, I would like to make a clarification: I am not giving a thorough teaching on the Mass. My aim is to try to convey the necessity of parents to teach their children about the Catholic faith – most especially the fact that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist.  
 
     Having explored the liturgy of the Word, we will now penetrate the liturgy of the Eucharist. We begin with the Offertory, when the priest offers the bread and wine for the sacrifice. This is the time that we join with the priest in offering to God all that we are – our strengths and weaknesses, our joys and struggles; all we have done – our successes and failures; who we are and who we hope to be. We ask that God will take us and transform us by the power of His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will change the bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Explore the Treasures - Part 3

     In this segment of our series, we will focus on the Eucharist.

     The Eucharist is called the Sacrament of the Presence of Christ, Who gives Himself to us completely. The word Eucharist means Thanks – giving. Jesus is truly Present – Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity – the same Jesus who was born in Nazareth, walked the streets of our world, suffered and died for us and rose from the dead and  now sits at the right hand of the Father.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Explore the Treasures -- Part 2

     In the second installment of our series, we will explore the Sacrament of Baptism.

     Having our children Baptized is the one of the greatest gifts we can give to them. Because of the sin of our first parents, Adam and Eve, every human person is born with the stain of original sin on their soul. Yes, even that sweet little infant who has stolen your heart! It is a great privilege, as well as a grave responsibility, as parents to have our children baptized. Baptism erases original sin by imparting the life of Christ’s grace.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Explore the Treasures - Part 1

     This past Sunday we celebrated the Feast of Corpus Christi. It is a Solemnity that was established in the thirteenth Century. The purpose was to recognize and celebrate the fact that Jesus Christ is truly present in the Eucharist – Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Christ’s presence is not symbolic but real. This is something that has always been believed and taught in the Catholic Church from the time of the Apostles and continues to this day.

     During a homily at Mass on Corpus Christi, my parish priest made a startling statement: Of the 50% of the Catholics who attend Mass, half of them do not believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist!

Thursday, May 19, 2016

A School Girl's Call


I Want To Be A Carmelite

There is something special
 I would like to do                  
To dedicate my life to God        
  To Jesus and His Mother too.

Prayers and sacrifices day by day
Bring souls to Christ to their glorious height
How wonderful I feel – so gay!            
 I want to be a Carmelite.

As I climb Mt. Carmel steep
Many times I fall      
Step by step I cannot leap        
To God for help I call.

Our Lady’s colors are tan and brown
And when I reach the mountain top    
From God I’ll receive my glorious crown      
My journey then will finally stop.
                                                                                     Written by Me at age 11

  
     Salvation history is full of examples of God planting a seed and it taking years and years before the “fruit” is seen: the Promised Land, a child to Abraham and Sarah, and the promise of a Savior.

     When I was a little girl – third grade to be exact – God planted the seed of a Carmelite vocation in my heart. I had been introduced to St. Therese, fell in love with her, and almost immediately heard the call. It was so real and strong that I believed it would happen. I wrote the above poem when I was in sixth grade and read it proudly to my co-ed classmates. It seemed like my destiny and like Therese, I could not wait until the time my dream could be fulfilled.

     Somewhere in high school, the call gradually disappeared, as I realized my true vocation was to marriage and motherhood. My thoughts were confirmed several years later when I married and began to raise a family. Being a wife and mother was something I loved and felt called to do.

     God was still a very important part of my life. Carmelite spirituality was something I was still drawn toward, so when time allowed, I read what I could on Carmelite saints. St. Therese’ Little Way was something I particularly loved. She made being holy attainable for everyone. Being a wife and mother, my life was full of little ways I could make sacrifices and save souls. This seemed to be working. I felt like I had the best of both worlds.

     In time, because of my deep spirituality, a friend invited me to visit her secular Carmelite community. She thought it would be something I would enjoy. Although I tried it for a number of months, with four young children and one on the way, it just didn’t work. I felt content with my primary vocation and saw the meetings as more of a burden. It was not for me. I was already practicing many of the requirements on my own, and did not feel the need to be part of a group to be motivated. My friend was mistaken. God was not calling me.

     As my life unfolded and my children grew, so did my relationship with God. It felt full and rich and right. At times I would think about “the call” long ago, and wondered what my life would have been like if I had answered that call. For the most part though, it did not enter my mind. I was serving God by trying my best to fulfill my vocation. God was front and center and I did what I could to bring others to Him as well. I was living my life in the way I believed God was leading, and then something unexpected happened – a question was voiced to me – not once, but twice – by two different people.

     “Have you ever thought about becoming a secular Carmelite?” The first time I just laughed and told my new friend that I had done that twenty five years ago and it wasn’t for me. She suggested that I pray and think about it. Maybe it was time.

     The second time was a month later and although I gave the same answer, I was beginning to wonder what was going on. Why would this happen again?

     Providentially, I was reading a book about a woman who was a secular Camelite. Jesus and Mary addressed her as “My little Carmelite.” Each time I would encounter those words, something in my heart seemed to bubble up. “What is going on?” I began to ask myself. “Is this You Lord, after all these years?”

     I began to bring my questions to prayer, asking God for direction. I emailed a friend who is a secular Carmelite and shared my story. She seemed to think that it sounded like it could be God who was trying to get my attention. I felt astounded! “This is crazy! It can’t be God!”

     I called another Carmelite friend and she invited me to visit her community. She explained everything to me and sent me information. I decided I would take it one meeting at a time and see where it would lead me.

     That was one and a half years ago. I’d like to say that when I walked into the Carmelite community I was struck by lightning certainty. It has not been the case. It has been a time of darkness, doubt and discernment.


     Because I was scheduled to receive my scapular in May, I was interviewed by members of the Council to discern if I had a vocation or not. I felt apprehensive, because I really wasn’t sure what to say. Did I have a vocation to Carmel? I still did not know.

     As the council members spoke with me and asked me questions, the doubt remained. As I shared my story, I began to cry. One of the members asked me how I would feel if I was told I did not have a vocation. “I would feel crushed,” I replied. I then asked them if it could be that God had really planted the seed of my secondary vocation so many years ago and now is the time for its fruition? Their smiles seem to confirm my thoughts. With their blessing, I then decided to take the next step and receive my scapular, surrendering it all into Our Lord’s and Our Lady’s hands.

    As the day approached, I felt very excited. While meditating on the Gospel the night before it was to happen, I was overjoyed to realize it was written just for me. “It was not you who chose Me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain” (Jn 15 vs 16).

     All the darkness and doubt disappeared. God was speaking directly to my heart, mind and soul, confirming His call to me so many years ago. I did have a Carmelite vocation, along with my vocation to marriage. It was not one or the other, but both.

     Now was the time for the seed that was planted long ago to peek its little head above ground and be cultivated. God was planting me in His Garden of Carmel to be formed and pruned as He sees fit. God had used my whole life to bring me to this point. The spirit of Carmel never left me from the time I was a little girl. God did allow me serve Him through my prayers and sacrifices and bring souls closer to Him.

     Being a member of Carmel will strengthen me in my desire, capabilities and capacity to serve God more diligently. I will be blessed with the graces from the Order of Discalced Carmelites to help me accomplish God’s will for my life.

     This totally unexpected gift with which I was blessed, is a perfect example of God’s timing, not mine.

    “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains”
(Jm 5 vs 7).



   
   
     
   
   
   

   
   
   
   
   
     

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Powerful Hurts

     We all have memories of painful incidents that have occurred in our lives: betrayal, feeling forgotten or left out, being criticized or put down, not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, and the list goes on.

     Associated with these difficult memories is usually a person or persons who inflicted our pain. At times, just thinking of them or hearing their name can cause us to suffer. After all, they are the ones who hurt us and inflicted the wound deep within our heart. They are not affected by it, yet we feel burdened and hurt.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Become a Saint

     “Although we have formed good resolutions in our mind, we always feel handicapped by the weakness of sustained effort, which rebels against the weariness of sustained effort, and seeks to free itself from it, or at least to reduce it to a minimum. Our bodies are subject to fatigue; our minds are disturbed by emotions which are always fluctuating. That which at one moment fills us with enthusiasm may, at the next, become distasteful and annoying to such a point that we think we can no longer endure it. This is our state while on earth and no one can escape it. However, God calls us all to sanctity, and since sanctity requires a continual practice of virtue, He, who never ask the impossible, has provided a remedy for the instability of our nature by giving us the virtue of perseverance, the special object of which is the sustaining of our efforts. Though fickle by nature, we can by the help of grace become steadfast.”                                                                             Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.


     Holiness does not come easily. It is an impossible task to carry out on our own. We often forget our weaknesses and become discouraged when we fail. We think we should be able to accomplish the resolutions we’ve made, and when we don’t, we beat ourselves up. Our pride blinds us, making us believe we should be able to do it with our own strength. We had been doing so well. What happened? We really thought we had finally overcome our weakness, but then the fall!

     “Whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall” (1Cor 10 vs 12).