Light in the Darkness

     Sadness had overtaken my focus on Christmas. There was nothing manifest to make me feel this way.

     We had had a wonderful Christmas celebration with family and friends. I had made time for Christ and had carved out “quiet moments” to keep my focus on His birth. So, what was wrong?

An Awakening

     “We can trust our Lady’s love for us and her knowledge of God. The woman who says, Do whatever He tells you, is the girl who sang the Magnificat, rejoicing that her Son had come for our joy, and this first miracle, symbol as it is of Christ’s life in us, was not a miracle related to suffering, but one designed to give an increase of joy to the people already rejoicing. That good wine is a symbol of Christ’s life in our soul, changing our tepid, colorless human nature to the strong life-giving humanity of Christ, and giving it the power to invigorate others, to warm their hearts and minds, to kindle the life in them with Christ’s love, just as wine given to a cold weary person tones up the blood in their veins.”    
                                                                                                             Caryll Houselander


     Late last January, after meditating on the reading of the Wedding Feast of Cana, I prayed and asked Our Lady, to BEG Jesus to turn the water of my marriage into a deep rich wine. Having been inspired to make this prayer, I FELT CERTATIN that God would answer it. I just wasn’t sure how.

Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!

 “Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!”  


     The longing in our hearts and souls for Jesus to come and be one with us can, at times, be overwhelming! Like the psalmist, we cry: “O God, You are my God, for You I long; for You my soul is thirsting. My body pines for You, like a dry, weary land without water” (psalm 63:2). 

     As I was busy cleaning my upstairs, I felt a sadness in my heart. I could not put my finger on its source or origin.

     Sure, we were into the busy season of “doing,” with Christmas just weeks away, but I was in really good shape! My house was decorated, my shopping almost accomplished, and my cards mailed.

     I was delighted that I was ahead of the game for a change. This allowed me the freedom to focus on Christ, the true meaning of Christmas – so why did I feel so sad?

     That was just it! My focus was on Jesus. I had already mounted the donkey with Mary, who was heavy with Child, as St. Joseph held the reigns of my Advent journey. 

     I was journeying with them. Although I felt the love of Mary and Joseph for our blessed Lord, I also felt the pain and rejection that they and He experienced and still experience.

     It is a pain similar to what a parent feels, when their child is left out; when their child is not chosen for the team; when a friend betrays them; when a friend rejects or does not believe in them. It is a pain like no other: the feeling of not being loved. Jesus is rejected and not loved by so many! 
     “He came unto His own and His own received Him not” (Jn 1:11).

     As I recognized the source of my pain, I thanked God for the insight. I also thanked Him for the privilege of sharing in His pain. I asked that He unite my pain with His to make it efficacious, most especially for those who do not think about Him or have rejected Him. I told Jesus that I hoped that my sharing in His pain would lessen His suffering. Although it did not go away, it now made sense. It was not useless or fruitless. It was full of meaning and could help console the heart of Jesus.

     When we love someone, we long to be with them. When they suffer, we do as well. When that Person is God, the feelings are so much deeper – there is an infinity to them. The truth is that our longing in itself causes a suffering within our hearts and souls, but when we suffer with Them, our pain is greatly increased.

     Our yearning and longing for God is truly a gift! But it is one that we don’t always recognize and mistake it for something else. When those deep feelings of longing, those intense feelings of yearning come into your heart, see it for what it truly is – God seeking your love! Jesus, thirsting for your love! 

     This Advent season, climb upon the donkey with Our Lady, pregnant with Jesus. Allow St. Joseph to lead you on your journey. Spend time with them. Converse with them. Give them your love and your heart. Feel baby Jesus as He moves within His Mother. Rejoice that He is coming! Share His joy – share His sorrow and disappointments. Make up with love for all who have forgotten Him. Gather gifts of selfless acts to offer to Him throughout this time of preparation. Rejoice that you are aware of His coming. Ready your heart to welcome Him on Christmas morning.

Stay awake! Keep alert! Jesus is coming! Don’t allow your feelings or duties to distract you from the true Reason for the Season – the birth of Christ!
    
    
    
    
    
    
     
    

Finding Peace -- Keeping Peace

     “Jesus chided Martha, not because she gave herself to activity, but because she was too anxious about it: ‘Martha, Martha, thou art careful, and art troubled about many things’ (Lk 10:41). God wants activity, but not anxiety, for even in activity, the soul should attend to “the one thing necessary,” that is, union with Him. Therefore, as soon as a soul perceives that it is beginning to lose its interior calm, it should interrupt its work, if possible, at least for an instant, and retire into its interior with God. These brief moments of pause, frequently repeated, will accustom it, little by little, to keep calm and recollected in God, even in the most absorbing activity.” Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.


     So often our days are spent in frantic activity. So much to do! So little time! We rush from task to task, trying to be efficient and get everything done. We want to be productive and in our haste, we lose our peace. Our head is spinning. Our neck feels tense. We long to get off of this merry-go-round of life and retreat from it all! We have lost our way in the mad dash and have taken our eyes off God!

Confessions of a 'Seasoned' Mother -- Part 2

     I felt perplexed, like knowing the answer to a crossword puzzle but not being able to spell the word correctly. Wasn't my goal in raising our children to help them become independent and responsible adults? It appeared as if I had succeeded, so why did I feel so badly?

     When my children were little, there were times I would have loved to have some quiet time and not be needed so much. Back then, I looked forward to ‘the time’ when my husband and I would have more time together and we wouldn't always be taking the back seat. What about my relationship with God? Getting up at dawn for some quiet prayer could now be moved to a later time, if I so chose. I needed to look at the positive side in this situation. Be grateful for the past; but move on to the present. When you’re talking about your feelings, it is easier said than done, so I continued to beseech God to give me an insight into my dilemma.

Don't look at that -- look at Me!

     When my youngest child was a toddler and his four his siblings were in school, I was his chief playmate and source of entertainment. There were times during our day together when I grew weary of playing G.I. Joe, Stars Wars and Nintendo, and would reach for a magazine and discreetly page through it while pretending to be engaged in our activity.

     It was not long before my son took notice of my actions. Reaching with his sweet little hand, he turned my face toward him and said, “Don’t look at that – look at me!” His gentle way of calling me back managed to touch my heart and make him, once again, the object of my focus.