Stand Firm

     “A man must go through a long and great conflict in himself before he can learn fully to overcome himself, and to draw his whole affection towards God. When a man stands upon himself he is easily drawn aside after human comforts. But a true lover of Christ, and a diligent pursuer of virtue, does not hunt after comforts, nor seek such sensible sweetnesses, but is rather willing to bear strong trials and hard labors for Christ.”                
                                                                               Thomas a’ Kempis


     I claim and long to be a true lover of Christ, but lately, I have very much felt like St. Paul: “The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want” (Rm. 7: 18b-19).

     For the last few months, I have been struggling so much in areas of my life with issues which, for quite some time, I thought I had overcome. What used to be easy and effortless, is now, more difficult than previously. I was under the impression that the battles I had fought so hard to win and overcome, were behind me. Boy, was I mistaken!

     “When an unclean spirit goes out of a person it roams through arid regions searching for rest but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my home from which I came.’ But returning, it finds it empty, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and brings back with itself seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they move in and dwell there; and the last condition of that person is worse than the first” (Mt. 12: 43-45).

     Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m possessed by an evil spirit, but by leaving my guard down, I had become somewhat proud. I had come “to stand upon myself and have allowed myself to be drawn after human comforts.” I had stopped listening to that little voice from the Holy Spirit, warning me about my weaknesses. I had depended far too much upon myself, and lost my footing. I had become soft and lost my stamina to engage the enemy within. At times, I have even forgotten that there is a battle!

     In the past, when I had overcome “myself,” it was with much effort. I had to work very hard and depend upon God completely. I knew that I was weak and helpless. I did not trust myself, but put my trust in God. Humility was my strength. I recognized my littleness and helplessness. But at the same time, I knew that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Ph 4:13).

     I want to take back “my home.” I want Christ to “sweep it out for me and put it in order.” I no longer want to feel like the Pharisees, “who cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with plunder and evil” (Lk 11: 39-40).  I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite. I want God to be the tenant in my home. I want Him to occupy my heart fully. I want to be free once again!

     “For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery” (Gal 5:1). “For you were called to freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh” (Gal 5:13).

     St. Paul tells us that we must not submit to “our flesh.” I have said yes to myself, far too much lately. I need to learn to say no. I do not want to produce the fruits of the flesh, but those of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22).

     If I live by the Spirit and listen to His promptings I will grow in His glorious fruits, one of which is self- control. It is not something I can just muster on my own – not for long anyway! As I try to live a virtuous life, I need and long for all the other fruits of the Spirit to assist me. I cannot fight this battle without them, nor bear the trials and labors which present themselves daily.

     I need to look beyond myself and look to God and His great love for me. When we truly love someone, we are willing to do all that we can to prove our love. So easily forgetting ourselves, thinking only of them, we are willing to die to all that separates us. I have to reject and say no to all that keeps me from truly loving God. I cannot do this on my own. I need God’s help. I need His love and mercy!

     In my previous post, The Wonders of God’s Ways, we discovered that Jesus’ heart burns with His graces of love and mercy which are rejected by many. He is looking for souls to receive these graces. I do not want to be counted among those who reject Christ's love, nor do you. I don’t want to the one who turns her back on Christ for a fleeting pleasure. I’m certain you do not either. In our times of temptation, when we are tempted to give in to the desires of our flesh, run to Jesus instead. We mustn’t ignore His call. It is the yearning and deep desire of our souls to be filled with Him. The passing things of this world will not fill us! Let us ask Christ to pour, in abundance, the rejected love and mercy that is bringing pain to His Heart. In return, we’ll shower Jesus with our love, as we turn our eyes toward Him. He will strengthen us. He will carry us when necessary.

     Don’t give up the fight; God will become your All!
   
    
    

The Wonder of God's Ways

     “I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces. The flames of mercy are burning Me. I desire to pour them out on human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them! I am looking for souls who would like to receive My grace.”                                              
                                                                                        Jesus to St. Faustina


     When Rachel read those words about 6 months ago, they penetrated her heart! Christ was speaking directly to her!

     Saddened by the pain Christ experienced when souls reject His love and grace, Rachel felt convicted to do something to help. In order to console Him, Rachel planned to beg Jesus to bestow on her, all the love and graces He had to give, that was rejected by others. She would practice this devotion when she received Jesus in Holy Communion and during her prayer time

     Being a daily communicant, Rachel couldn’t wait to add this beautiful practice to her time of thanksgiving with Jesus in Holy Communion. It brought joy to her heart each time she brought consolation and love to Christ’s Heart, by asking for the unsought love and graces. She smiled, both inside and out, when she thought about the benefits of her great find: she not only relieved the pain and suffering of Jesus, but she would receive extra love and grace. It was a win/win situation and she delighted in the way it had enhanced her reception of Holy Communion, as well as her prayer time.

                                                                 Fast forward six months.

     Rachel is at Mass. A young girl is sitting next to her. The girl is texting, checking her email, and whatever else she could do on her phone while Mass is being celebrated.

     Rachel is feeling very distracted by the girl’s actions. She wants to do or say something, but holds back. The consecration is about to begin. Rachel is hoping that the girl will have the good sense to at least stop during this very sacred time. She does not. Rachel’s feelings move from distraction, to being very upset!

        It was now time to for Communion. While Rachel was coming back to her seat, after receiving Jesus, she felt like her heart could break. The young girl was so oblivious to all the love and graces that Jesus wanted to give her. Rachael eyes filled with tears. As Rachel is speaking with Jesus and asking for His rejected love and mercy, Jesus speaks to her heart. He tells her that this girls’ actions are a perfect example of the way He is rejected. He is right there, waiting to pour His love and mercy upon her, and she is totally unaware of Him and His presence – even after having received Him in Holy Communion.

     Rachel cries inwardly from the depth of her heart, “Oh my Lord Jesus! Please forgive her. She does not know what she is doing.  I’ll take the love and mercy that she is rejecting. Pour it down on me. Pour it down on her as well. She doesn’t even know that it’s there for the taking.” Once more, Rachel asked Jesus to forgive the girl.

     Mass was over. Rachel left Church feeling distraught and heavy hearted.

     Several days had passed since the incident at Mass. Rachel thought about the girl and prayed for her. She had a difficult time understanding the young girl’s indifference to the treasures Jesus wanted to share. She would continue to pray for the girl. Maybe that’s why they were seated together . . .  God wanted Rachel to pray for her.

     The following week was particularly challenging for Rachel. Whatever could go wrong did. She was weary, tired, cranky and frazzled. By the end of the week, Rachel felt like she had no control of anything in her life. She needed some comfort. She wanted to do something for herself. Her entire week had been spent on others; she desperately needed some kind of reprieve!

     Rachel turned to her own devices and after indulging, she realized that she did not even enjoy it. She felt guilty. It had not taken away her negative feelings, in fact, it had added to their weight.

     While sitting, chastising herself for her actions, she heard the sweet voice of Jesus. “Rachel, remember the other day at Mass, when you were upset about the young girl on her phone, and you couldn’t understand why? You have just done the same thing.

     “You had a bad week, but you always have a choice. You could have come to Me. I was waiting for you with My grace and merciful love. You choose instead to turn away from Me and go to your own devices, rejecting Me and My gifts. Rachel, I want to be the One you run to when life is difficult. I want to fill you with My love, mercy and graces, not only at Holy Communion, but anytime! I am here. I can fill you. Come to Me. I love you and want what’s best for you. Other things will leave you empty. I will not.”

     Rachel could not believe her ears! She would have not ever imagined, that she could be like the young girl who had blatantly ignored Jesus. She felt ashamed of her actions. Remorse and contrition filled her soul. She did not mean to hurt Jesus. She would never want to hurt Him. Rachel loved to bring Him joy and happiness! She was filled with sorrow. Rachel asked Jesus to forgive her. She then realized the reason she had been seated beside the young girl: to learn that she too can choose to reject or turn towards Jesus’ merciful love and grace. He is always there, waiting to pour it down upon us. We only have to ask.

    Previously, Rachel hadn’t realized that she could practice this devotion outside of her prayer time and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion. This realization opened up vast new opportunities for her to soothe the Heart of Jesus. She now felt excited. God has used her fall to teach her a valuable lesson!

     Little did Rachel realize, that her new “spiritual friend,” would have such a positive impact on her relationship with God. Her friends’ poor actions would help her and others to grow closer to God. The power of evil was crushed by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The wonder of God’s ways!

    Rachel, my dear sister, shared this story with me because she knew it could help me in my struggle towards holiness. I asked if she’d mind if I shared it with you. She gave me her blessing!

     Let us follow Rachel’s lead. Let us relieve the burning heart of Jesus, by begging Him for the rejected love and mercy that He longs to pour upon souls. Let us make this our practice, not only in our time of prayer and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, but throughout our day as well. May we especially turn to Jesus, in our moments of weakness and temptation. He is there waiting for us, with all the love and graces that we need to fill our hearts like a banquet. We only need to ask!

     Jesus longs and thirsts for our love. Slake His thirst by allowing Him to pour His love and mercy upon you. Relieve His pain and bring joy to His heart! Allow His love to fill you to the brim. Everything else will leave you empty!

     “Thus I will bless you while I live; lifting up my hands, I will call upon Your name. As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied, and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise You” (Psalm 63: 5-6).  

    “O my Strength, it is You to whom I turn, for You, O God, are my stronghold, the God who shows me love” (Psalm 59:18).
    
    
    
    
                                               

The Present Moment -- What a Gift

   One example of the wisdom of God is that He does not reveal the future to us. This is truly a mercy!

    Many of us would have wanted to run away in order to avoid the difficult events that have occurred in our lives. But truth be told, it was those very events that helped us to grow in strength and virtue – helped us become the man or woman we are today.

     Even with that said, thinking about living with difficulties in the future is still frightening! The “unknown” in itself can be unnerving, but when you add all the “what ifs” that our imagination can conjure up, our fear can be endless. Thanks be to God, most of them never come about anyway, yet we allow ourselves to venture into the future where we may never tread.

     And then of course, there’s the past!

      We revisit memories that are filled with regrets and hurts. We beat ourselves up with the “should haves, would haves, could haves, and whys,” and experience the pain and regrets all over again. We allow the past to wound us again and again, till our wound is once more festering and raw.

     Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we torture ourselves by revisiting the past or delving into the future? Why do we give in to the temptation to move from the present moment where God’s grace is located? We get trapped instead, feeling anxious and burdened.

     God’s grace is neither in the past nor the future!

     It is the devil’s aim to keep us from staying in the present moment. He knows if he can keep us in the past or the future, we’re doomed. God’s grace is not there. GOD IS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT – and so is His grace!

     The present moment is all that we have really anyway. It is the only offering that we can give to God. We need to stay close to our Papa and not allow ourselves to venture into the pain of the past or the unknown territory of the future. We have to keep hold of our Papa’s hand and stay with Him right here in the present moment. He will shower us with all the graces we need to navigate through our lives – with all its up’s and downs.

     This is not a new problem for mankind. It is evident from the writings of the saints, that many of them struggled with this temptation.

     St. Augustine advised us long ago: “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love and the future to God’s providence.”

    And then the words of wisdom from St. Francis de Sales: “Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.  
  
     Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

     Be at peace then, put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.”

     And lastly, the beautiful prayer of St. Faustina. Let us make it our own:

     “O my God, when I look into the future, I am frightened, but why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, as the future may never enter my soul at all.

     It is no longer in my power, to change, correct or add to the past; for neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

     O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me Your omnipotence.

      And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk like a little child, offering to You each day this heart burning with love for Your greater glory.”

     St. Augustine, St. Frances de Sales, and St. Faustina please pray for us! Pray that we may cooperate with God’s grace to stay in the present moment. Intercede for us that we may learn to trust God with every fiber of our being. Ask that God will help us to let go of the spirit of fear so we can receive the peace that He longs to bestow upon us. May our lives be one continual FIAT as we abide in the loving heart of the Father. Amen!
                                                                                    
    
   
    
    


        

Be the Face of Mercy

     “Let this be the pattern for all men when they practice mercy: show mercy to others in the same way, with the same generosity, with the same promptness, as you want others to show mercy to you.” St. Peter Chrysologus


     We desire and expect, when we offend someone, that they excuse and shrug off our offense,  if not immediately, at least within a reasonable time: maybe we were under stress, in a bad mood, distracted, tired, not feeling well, just not thinking, or many other excuses that we graciously permit   ourselves.

His Gaze of Mercy

     While I don’t really experience a lot of physical suffering, I was being plagued by interior suffering, and I was not faring well! Interiorly, I felt as if I were experiencing labor and could not handle it. I wanted to scream! I wanted to shout! I wanted to give birth without all the pain that goes along with it. I tried to unite my suffering with Jesus,’ but that did not seem to make a difference. I was struggling within myself between what I felt like doing or saying, compared with how I knew I should act. The duplicity in my heart made me feel like a hypocrite. I knew I was in need of supernatural help, so off I went to Confession.

His Deepest Desires

     Then the sweet Redeemer asked me to pray with Him the prayer that expresses His deepest desires:

May our feet journey together.

May our hands gather in unity.

May our hearts beat in unison.

May our souls be in harmony.

May our thoughts be as one.

May our ears listen to the silence together.

May our glances profoundly penetrate each other.

May our lips pray together to gain mercy from the Eternal Father.

Amen.

     I made this prayer completely mine. The Lord meditated on it many time with me, asserting these are His eternal longings. He taught me this prayer, so I would in turn teach it to others. With all our strength and mind, let us make our own His eternal thoughts and burning desires.
                An excerpt from the diary of Elizabeth Kindelmann*


     What a beautiful, powerful prayer Our Lord shared with Elizabeth: a prayer that expresses His eternal longings. The very longings that He has for each one of us! Let us look at them together and discover the love of our Savior.

Dealing with Gnats

     “Confession heals. Confession justifies. Confession grants pardon from sin. All hope consists in confession. In confession is a chance for mercy. Believe it firmly. Do not doubt. Do not hesitate. Never despair of the mercy of God.”                                                                 St. Isadore of Seville



     What a tremendous gift we have as Catholics in the Sacrament of Reconciliation! It is such a healing balm for the wounds of our souls. At times we can take it for granted and forget the transforming effect it has upon us.

Soothe His Aching Heart

     “I desire that you know more profoundly the love that burns in My Heart for souls, and you will understand this when you meditate upon My Passion. Call upon My mercy on behalf of sinners; I desire their salvation. When you say this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I will give him the grace of conversion. This is the prayer; “O blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a font of Mercy for us, I trust in You.” Jesus to Saint Faustina

     Jesus loves us so very much and reveals the way we can begin to internalize His love for souls: Meditating on His Passion.

     While familiarizing ourselves and delving into the words and actions of Christ, His Passion will become more than just a story. It will penetrate and soak deeply within our hearts as the love story it is. Jesus’ tremendous love will pierce our hearts as we meditate on His Passion. We will clearly see the depths He was willing to submit Himself for the salvation of each soul.

Embracing Sacred Silence

     “We must cultivate that sacred silence which makes people remember the words of Jesus: “See how they love one another.” How often we find ourselves speaking of the faults of another. How often our conversation is about someone who is not present. Yet see the compassion of Christ toward Judas, the man who received so much love yet betrayed his own Master. But the Master kept the sacred silence and did not betray Judas. Jesus could have easily spoken in public – as we do – telling the hidden intentions and deeds of Judas to others. But He didn't, instead He showed mercy and charity. Rather than condemning Judas, He called him friend.        Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta



     Cultivating sacred silence goes against our grain. Keeping secret the faults of others is a challenge to us. Why is it that we struggle with this so? Why can’t we be loving, compassionate, and kind instead? Why do we like to expose another’s “nakedness?” Why do we often want to betray those who have betrayed us?