The Wonder of God's Ways

     “I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces. The flames of mercy are burning Me. I desire to pour them out on human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them! I am looking for souls who would like to receive My grace.”                                              
                                                                                        Jesus to St. Faustina


     When Rachel read those words about 6 months ago, they penetrated her heart! Christ was speaking directly to her!

     Saddened by the pain Christ experienced when souls reject His love and grace, Rachel felt convicted to do something to help. In order to console Him, Rachel planned to beg Jesus to bestow on her, all the love and graces He had to give, that was rejected by others. She would practice this devotion when she received Jesus in Holy Communion and during her prayer time

     Being a daily communicant, Rachel couldn’t wait to add this beautiful practice to her time of thanksgiving with Jesus in Holy Communion. It brought joy to her heart each time she brought consolation and love to Christ’s Heart, by asking for the unsought love and graces. She smiled, both inside and out, when she thought about the benefits of her great find: she not only relieved the pain and suffering of Jesus, but she would receive extra love and grace. It was a win/win situation and she delighted in the way it had enhanced her reception of Holy Communion, as well as her prayer time.

                                                                 Fast forward six months.

     Rachel is at Mass. A young girl is sitting next to her. The girl is texting, checking her email, and whatever else she could do on her phone while Mass is being celebrated.

     Rachel is feeling very distracted by the girl’s actions. She wants to do or say something, but holds back. The consecration is about to begin. Rachel is hoping that the girl will have the good sense to at least stop during this very sacred time. She does not. Rachel’s feelings move from distraction, to being very upset!

        It was now time to for Communion. While Rachel was coming back to her seat, after receiving Jesus, she felt like her heart could break. The young girl was so oblivious to all the love and graces that Jesus wanted to give her. Rachael eyes filled with tears. As Rachel is speaking with Jesus and asking for His rejected love and mercy, Jesus speaks to her heart. He tells her that this girls’ actions are a perfect example of the way He is rejected. He is right there, waiting to pour His love and mercy upon her, and she is totally unaware of Him and His presence – even after having received Him in Holy Communion.

     Rachel cries inwardly from the depth of her heart, “Oh my Lord Jesus! Please forgive her. She does not know what she is doing.  I’ll take the love and mercy that she is rejecting. Pour it down on me. Pour it down on her as well. She doesn’t even know that it’s there for the taking.” Once more, Rachel asked Jesus to forgive the girl.

     Mass was over. Rachel left Church feeling distraught and heavy hearted.

     Several days had passed since the incident at Mass. Rachel thought about the girl and prayed for her. She had a difficult time understanding the young girl’s indifference to the treasures Jesus wanted to share. She would continue to pray for the girl. Maybe that’s why they were seated together . . .  God wanted Rachel to pray for her.

     The following week was particularly challenging for Rachel. Whatever could go wrong did. She was weary, tired, cranky and frazzled. By the end of the week, Rachel felt like she had no control of anything in her life. She needed some comfort. She wanted to do something for herself. Her entire week had been spent on others; she desperately needed some kind of reprieve!

     Rachel turned to her own devices and after indulging, she realized that she did not even enjoy it. She felt guilty. It had not taken away her negative feelings, in fact, it had added to their weight.

     While sitting, chastising herself for her actions, she heard the sweet voice of Jesus. “Rachel, remember the other day at Mass, when you were upset about the young girl on her phone, and you couldn’t understand why? You have just done the same thing.

     “You had a bad week, but you always have a choice. You could have come to Me. I was waiting for you with My grace and merciful love. You choose instead to turn away from Me and go to your own devices, rejecting Me and My gifts. Rachel, I want to be the One you run to when life is difficult. I want to fill you with My love, mercy and graces, not only at Holy Communion, but anytime! I am here. I can fill you. Come to Me. I love you and want what’s best for you. Other things will leave you empty. I will not.”

     Rachel could not believe her ears! She would have not ever imagined, that she could be like the young girl who had blatantly ignored Jesus. She felt ashamed of her actions. Remorse and contrition filled her soul. She did not mean to hurt Jesus. She would never want to hurt Him. Rachel loved to bring Him joy and happiness! She was filled with sorrow. Rachel asked Jesus to forgive her. She then realized the reason she had been seated beside the young girl: to learn that she too can choose to reject or turn towards Jesus’ merciful love and grace. He is always there, waiting to pour it down upon us. We only have to ask.

    Previously, Rachel hadn’t realized that she could practice this devotion outside of her prayer time and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion. This realization opened up vast new opportunities for her to soothe the Heart of Jesus. She now felt excited. God has used her fall to teach her a valuable lesson!

     Little did Rachel realize, that her new “spiritual friend,” would have such a positive impact on her relationship with God. Her friends’ poor actions would help her and others to grow closer to God. The power of evil was crushed by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The wonder of God’s ways!

    Rachel, my dear sister, shared this story with me because she knew it could help me in my struggle towards holiness. I asked if she’d mind if I shared it with you. She gave me her blessing!

     Let us follow Rachel’s lead. Let us relieve the burning heart of Jesus, by begging Him for the rejected love and mercy that He longs to pour upon souls. Let us make this our practice, not only in our time of prayer and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, but throughout our day as well. May we especially turn to Jesus, in our moments of weakness and temptation. He is there waiting for us, with all the love and graces that we need to fill our hearts like a banquet. We only need to ask!

     Jesus longs and thirsts for our love. Slake His thirst by allowing Him to pour His love and mercy upon you. Relieve His pain and bring joy to His heart! Allow His love to fill you to the brim. Everything else will leave you empty!

     “Thus I will bless you while I live; lifting up my hands, I will call upon Your name. As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied, and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise You” (Psalm 63: 5-6).  

    “O my Strength, it is You to whom I turn, for You, O God, are my stronghold, the God who shows me love” (Psalm 59:18).
    
    
    
    
                                               

A School Girl's Call

I Want To Be A Carmelite

There is something special
 I would like to do                  
To dedicate my life to God        
  To Jesus and His Mother too.

Prayers and sacrifices day by day
Bring souls to Christ to their glorious height
How wonderful I feel – so gay!            
 I want to be a Carmelite.

As I climb Mt. Carmel steep
Many times I fall      
Step by step I cannot leap        
To God for help I call.

Our Lady’s colors are tan and brown
And when I reach the mountain top    
From God I’ll receive my glorious crown      
My journey then will finally stop.
                                                                                     Written by Me at age 11

  
     Salvation history is full of examples of God planting a seed and it taking years and years before the “fruit” is seen: the Promised Land, a child to Abraham and Sarah, and the promise of a Savior.

     When I was a little girl – third grade to be exact – God planted the seed of a Carmelite vocation in my heart. I had been introduced to St. Therese, fell in love with her, and almost immediately heard the call. It was so real and strong that I believed it would happen. I wrote the above poem when I was in sixth grade and read it proudly to my co-ed classmates. It seemed like my destiny and like Therese, I could not wait until the time my dream could be fulfilled.

     Somewhere in high school, the call gradually disappeared, as I realized my true vocation was to marriage and motherhood. My thoughts were confirmed several years later when I married and began to raise a family. Being a wife and mother was something I loved and felt called to do.

     God was still a very important part of my life. Carmelite spirituality was something I was still drawn toward, so when time allowed, I read what I could on Carmelite saints. St. Therese’ Little Way was something I particularly loved. She made being holy attainable for everyone. Being a wife and mother, my life was full of little ways I could make sacrifices and save souls. This seemed to be working. I felt like I had the best of both worlds.

     In time, because of my deep spirituality, a friend invited me to visit her secular Carmelite community. She thought it would be something I would enjoy. Although I tried it for a number of months, with four young children and one on the way, it just didn’t work. I felt content with my primary vocation and saw the meetings as more of a burden. It was not for me. I was already practicing many of the requirements on my own, and did not feel the need to be part of a group to be motivated. My friend was mistaken. God was not calling me.

     As my life unfolded and my children grew, so did my relationship with God. It felt full and rich and right. At times I would think about “the call” long ago, and wondered what my life would have been like if I had answered that call. For the most part though, it did not enter my mind. I was serving God by trying my best to fulfill my vocation. God was front and center and I did what I could to bring others to Him as well. I was living my life in the way I believed God was leading, and then something unexpected happened – a question was voiced to me – not once, but twice – by two different people.

     “Have you ever thought about becoming a secular Carmelite?” The first time I just laughed and told my new friend that I had done that twenty five years ago and it wasn’t for me. She suggested that I pray and think about it. Maybe it was time.

     The second time was a month later and although I gave the same answer, I was beginning to wonder what was going on. Why would this happen again?

     Providentially, I was reading a book about a woman who was a secular Camelite. Jesus and Mary addressed her as “My little Carmelite.” Each time I would encounter those words, something in my heart seemed to bubble up. “What is going on?” I began to ask myself. “Is this You Lord, after all these years?”

     I began to bring my questions to prayer, asking God for direction. I emailed a friend who is a secular Carmelite and shared my story. She seemed to think that it sounded like it could be God who was trying to get my attention. I felt astounded! “This is crazy! It can’t be God!”

     I called another Carmelite friend and she invited me to visit her community. She explained everything to me and sent me information. I decided I would take it one meeting at a time and see where it would lead me.

     That was one and a half years ago. I’d like to say that when I walked into the Carmelite community I was struck by lightning certainty. It has not been the case. It has been a time of darkness, doubt and discernment.


     Because I was scheduled to receive my scapular in May, I was interviewed by members of the Council to discern if I had a vocation or not. I felt apprehensive, because I really wasn’t sure what to say. Did I have a vocation to Carmel? I still did not know.

     As the council members spoke with me and asked me questions, the doubt remained. As I shared my story, I began to cry. One of the members asked me how I would feel if I was told I did not have a vocation. “I would feel crushed,” I replied. I then asked them if it could be that God had really planted the seed of my secondary vocation so many years ago and now is the time for its fruition? Their smiles seem to confirm my thoughts. With their blessing, I then decided to take the next step and receive my scapular, surrendering it all into Our Lord’s and Our Lady’s hands.

    As the day approached, I felt very excited. While meditating on the Gospel the night before it was to happen, I was overjoyed to realize it was written just for me. “It was not you who chose Me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain” (Jn 15 vs 16).

     All the darkness and doubt disappeared. God was speaking directly to my heart, mind and soul, confirming His call to me so many years ago. I did have a Carmelite vocation, along with my vocation to marriage. It was not one or the other, but both.

     Now was the time for the seed that was planted long ago to peek its little head above ground and be cultivated. God was planting me in His Garden of Carmel to be formed and pruned as He sees fit. God had used my whole life to bring me to this point. The spirit of Carmel never left me from the time I was a little girl. God did allow me serve Him through my prayers and sacrifices and bring souls closer to Him.

     Being a member of Carmel will strengthen me in my desire, capabilities and capacity to serve God more diligently. I will be blessed with the graces from the Order of Discalced Carmelites to help me accomplish God’s will for my life.

     This totally unexpected gift with which I was blessed, is a perfect example of God’s timing, not mine.

    “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains”
(Jm 5 vs 7).



   
   
     
   
   
   

   
   
   
   
   
     

From the Cross

     Anyone who sits by the bedside with a loved one, who is dying, would not find it difficult to recall the words that were spoken to them. Those words would be etched deeply within their memory and cherished as precious jewels. Each word, each sentence would be recorded and recalled as a gift.

     So too are the words of Christ that were uttered from the cross. They are recorded for us in Holy Scripture and are venerated by Christians throughout the world. They were spoken with great effort as Jesus suffocated on the cross. They should hold a great significance for us because they reveal the love, sacrifice and wisdom of God.

     Let us thoughtfully ponder them on this blessed day, Good Friday.

Soothe His Aching Heart

     “I desire that you know more profoundly the love that burns in My Heart for souls, and you will understand this when you meditate upon My Passion. Call upon My mercy on behalf of sinners; I desire their salvation. When you say this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I will give him the grace of conversion. This is the prayer; “O blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a font of Mercy for us, I trust in You.” Jesus to Saint Faustina

     Jesus loves us so very much and reveals the way we can begin to internalize His love for souls: Meditating on His Passion.

     While familiarizing ourselves and delving into the words and actions of Christ, His Passion will become more than just a story. It will penetrate and soak deeply within our hearts as the love story it is. Jesus’ tremendous love will pierce our hearts as we meditate on His Passion. We will clearly see the depths He was willing to submit Himself for the salvation of each soul.

Who, Lord, Do You Say That I Am? -- Part 3

     I was back to my original question. Lord, who do You say that I am? If I’m not Your servant, than who am I? Like Jacob, I did a lot of wrestling with God. Through much pain, suffering, and letting go of the burdens I had placed upon myself, the answer finally did come. I was not just God’s servant, but He revealed to me that I am His Daughter, who happens to get to serve Him. He takes all my effort as a gift. He knows that the results of my efforts are not in my control. He reminded me that He is God and I am not. He wants me to trust Him with my children, because He loves them even more than I do. He helped me recall how He has been with me on my journey through life and that I did not always choose as He would have preferred, nevertheless, He was with me in spite of my choices. He has continued to guide and accompany me on my journey.