Shaken From My Sleep

      “O my God, You and You alone are all wise and knowing! You know, You have determined everything that will happen to us from first to last. You have ordered things in the wisest way, and You know what will be my lot year by year until I die. You know how long I have to live. You know how I shall die. You have precisely ordained everything, sin excepted. Every event of my life is the best for me that could be for it comes from You. You bring me on year by year, by your wonderful Providence, from youth to age, with the most perfect wisdom, and with the most perfect love.”       

                                                                               St. John Henry Cardinal Newman

     Holy Scripture confirms this truth: “You have seen my actions; in Your book they are all written; my days were limited before one of them existed” (Psalm 139: 16).

A Contrite Heart

     “Avoid the little faults. Ask Me to help you to see them more clearly, in their true light, like a window in sunshine. You will not dare repeat them; you will be on the watch not to repeat them; you will be on the watch not to hurt Me. And when you notice you have done wrong, you will ask Me to forgive you. My heart has seen everything and is ready to forget, because it listens to your words of distress and humility. Oh, the power of repentance! The sacrifice that pleases Me is a contrite heart.”                                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                  Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis

     For months, I have been struggling with overcoming the imperfections, which God has been pointing out to me.

Power, Wisdom and Love

    “By our belief in the Holy Trinity we acknowledge in one single God, Power, Wisdom and Love, and these three are one. Now surely, I do see what an immense effect such a doctrine must have upon life.  It is no mere question for theologians, but one that concerns every living soul. Whatever is allowed by God’s power must be guided by His wisdom and urged on by His love. All that happens to me in life, the little worries and the great anxieties, the crisis and the daily annoyances, the sorrow and the joys, the harms that reach me through the sins of others, the great cries of history, the huge and devastating wars, the partings and loves and the whole cycle of human experiences are permitted by Power which is itself wise and loving. These three Persons determine my life, and since I walk by faith, I must surely grow very patient in my attitude through life. For how can I complain or criticize God’s Providence, since it comes under the triple influence of Power, Wisdom and Love? Under the guidance, then, of this mystery, I can walk through the valley of death or the more perilous borders of sin without loss of courage or hopelessness. Nothing can make me afraid. How these are separate, but one, I do not know, nor can I reconcile in my concrete experience the claims of each. It is always a mystery, but a mystery in which I believe. Whatever Power allows on earth is designed in Wisdom and attuned by Love.”           
                                                                                Father Bede Jarrett



     As I read and pondered the words of Father Jarrett, I shook my head in awe, wonder and gratitude for the wisdom he has bequeathed to us!

The Present Moment -- What a Gift

   One example of the wisdom of God is that He does not reveal the future to us. This is truly a mercy!

    Many of us would have wanted to run away in order to avoid the difficult events that have occurred in our lives. But truth be told, it was those very events that helped us to grow in strength and virtue – helped us become the man or woman we are today.

     Even with that said, thinking about living with difficulties in the future is still frightening! The “unknown” in itself can be unnerving, but when you add all the “what ifs” that our imagination can conjure up, our fear can be endless. Thanks be to God, most of them never come about anyway, yet we allow ourselves to venture into the future where we may never tread.

     And then of course, there’s the past!

      We revisit memories that are filled with regrets and hurts. We beat ourselves up with the “should haves, would haves, could haves, and whys,” and experience the pain and regrets all over again. We allow the past to wound us again and again, till our wound is once more festering and raw.

     Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we torture ourselves by revisiting the past or delving into the future? Why do we give in to the temptation to move from the present moment where God’s grace is located? We get trapped instead, feeling anxious and burdened.

     God’s grace is neither in the past nor the future!

     It is the devil’s aim to keep us from staying in the present moment. He knows if he can keep us in the past or the future, we’re doomed. God’s grace is not there. GOD IS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT – and so is His grace!

     The present moment is all that we have really anyway. It is the only offering that we can give to God. We need to stay close to our Papa and not allow ourselves to venture into the pain of the past or the unknown territory of the future. We have to keep hold of our Papa’s hand and stay with Him right here in the present moment. He will shower us with all the graces we need to navigate through our lives – with all its up’s and downs.

     This is not a new problem for mankind. It is evident from the writings of the saints, that many of them struggled with this temptation.

     St. Augustine advised us long ago: “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love and the future to God’s providence.”

    And then the words of wisdom from St. Francis de Sales: “Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.  
  
     Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

     Be at peace then, put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.”

     And lastly, the beautiful prayer of St. Faustina. Let us make it our own:

     “O my God, when I look into the future, I am frightened, but why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, as the future may never enter my soul at all.

     It is no longer in my power, to change, correct or add to the past; for neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

     O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me Your omnipotence.

      And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk like a little child, offering to You each day this heart burning with love for Your greater glory.”

     St. Augustine, St. Frances de Sales, and St. Faustina please pray for us! Pray that we may cooperate with God’s grace to stay in the present moment. Intercede for us that we may learn to trust God with every fiber of our being. Ask that God will help us to let go of the spirit of fear so we can receive the peace that He longs to bestow upon us. May our lives be one continual FIAT as we abide in the loving heart of the Father. Amen!
                                                                                    
    
   
    
    


        

The Mysterious Wisdom of God

     “Many things happen that God does not will. But He still permits them, in His wisdom, and they remain a stumbling block or scandal to our minds. God asks us to do all we can to eliminate evil. But despite our efforts, there is always a whole set of circumstances which we can do nothing about, which are not necessarily willed by God but nevertheless are permitted by Him, and which God invites us to consent to trustingly and peacefully even when they make us suffer and cause us problems. We are not being asked to consent to evil, but to consent to the mysterious wisdom of God who permits evil. Our consent is not a compromise with evil but the expression of our trust that God is stronger than evil. This is a form of obedience that is very painful but very fruitful.”     Fr. Jacques Phillipe


     Living life in our fallen world is at times, both difficult and challenging with the relationship between God and us. We are called to trust and believe that somehow God can use this tough situation not only for our good, but for our sanctification. In his letter to the Romans, St. Paul, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, penned long ago: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God” (Rm. 8 vs 28). So why is it that we question and doubt God’s love for us when trials come our way? Why is it that these happenings remain a stumbling block or a scandal to our minds? Why can we not believe that God can and will bring some good from each trial?

Who, Lord, Do You Say That I Am? -- Part 1

   Knowing who I am and feeling confidant and self assured was normal for me for a good part of my life. I did well in school, had a nice social life, knew my role in my family and had a comfortable relationship with God. I even managed to get through the late 60’s and early 70’s with my faith and morals pretty much intact and marry a wonderful guy, and all this happened by the time I was twenty years old.

     I remember Helen Reddy belting out the song “I am Woman” in 1972 and somehow not really being able to relate to her battle cry. I never felt held down or unable to reach my goals. I never looked at being a woman as something inferior, nor did I feel looked down upon. I was always someone who achieved the goals I had set for myself. I did not feel like I had missed out or was limited by life’s choices because I was a woman and now, a wife and hoped to be a “stay at home” mother.  The role and identity of women seemed to take an even greater shift in the late 70’s and 80’s and by the 90’s, finding fulfillment in “just” motherhood was almost extinct.

Confessions of a 'Seasoned' Mother -- Part 1

     I considered myself a ‘seasoned’ mother. Having been blessed with five children and the luxury to be an ‘at home’ mom, we had successfully navigated through many of life’s experiences and created a deep family bond.

     Our two youngest would be graduating; one from grade school and one from high school, so once again, we were looking at colleges. Although our three oldest had finished college, they had all commuted, so we had not experienced their absence from our home. I have to admit, I liked it that way. I enjoyed the ‘live at home ‘connection we shared.

      So that was our plan. Our son would find a local college and commute, just like his siblings.