Be A Pilgrim--Not A Tourist

       “The human heart plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps." Proverbs 16: 9

    It was almost 9 years ago, that I experienced my first group pilgrimage. Sometime before we left, we met as a group with the priest who would be leading us on our journey. I was very excited and couldn’t wait to hear all the details about our trip.

Hiding from God

     “And when He comes, He will convict the world in regard to sin. The Spirit of truth will guide you into all truth.”                                                                
                                                                                                        Jn 15: 8, 13



     I was struggling! I was trying to justify an action I had committed. I had justified it in the past, but this time, something within me kept picking at my conscience.

Mounted on Hope

  “No one had a more concrete, practical knowledge of her nothingness than Mary; she understood well that her whole being, natural as well as supernatural, would be annihilated if God did not sustain her every moment. She knew that whatever she had, in no way belonged to her, but came from God, and was the pure gift of His liberality. Her great mission and the marvelous privileges which she had received from the Most High did not prevent her from seeing and feeling her ‘lowliness.’ But far from disconcerting or discouraging her in any way – as the realization of our nothingness and weakness often does to us – her humility served as a starting point from which she darted to God with stronger hope. The greater the higher her soul became, the higher her soul mounted in hope. That is why, being really poor in spirit, she did not trust her own resources, ability, or merits, but put all her confidence in God alone.”                                                                                                                             Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen


     As I read this passage from Fr. Gabriel, it became apparent to me that I am not poor in spirit. I felt a deep sting as this realization struck my heart!

      On some level, I believe that I was growing toward this virtue. I have been making a conscious effort to depend upon God – on His help and assistance. But as I looked at my life, my hopes and desires, it was clear that I do not put my hope and trust in God, but in myself and my abilities.

Mea Culpa!

     “God, give me the Lent I need, not necessarily the Lent I want,” was my prayer on Ash Wednesday. God IS faithful; He answered my prayer. He is using this time to show me how to conquer the flaws with which I struggle. Weeks before Lent God began to teach me lessons in faith and trust. As I entered the desert of Lent, He has allowed circumstances in my life to unfold to give me practice in these areas.

     “Oh, that today you would hear His voice, harden not your hearts” (Psalm 95:7b).

Become a Saint

     “Although we have formed good resolutions in our mind, we always feel handicapped by the weakness of sustained effort, which rebels against the weariness of sustained effort, and seeks to free itself from it, or at least to reduce it to a minimum. Our bodies are subject to fatigue; our minds are disturbed by emotions which are always fluctuating. That which at one moment fills us with enthusiasm may, at the next, become distasteful and annoying to such a point that we think we can no longer endure it. This is our state while on earth and no one can escape it. However, God calls us all to sanctity, and since sanctity requires a continual practice of virtue, He, who never ask the impossible, has provided a remedy for the instability of our nature by giving us the virtue of perseverance, the special object of which is the sustaining of our efforts. Though fickle by nature, we can by the help of grace become steadfast.”                                                                             Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.


     Holiness does not come easily. It is an impossible task to carry out on our own. We often forget our weaknesses and become discouraged when we fail. We think we should be able to accomplish the resolutions we’ve made, and when we don’t, we beat ourselves up. Our pride blinds us, making us believe we should be able to do it with our own strength. We had been doing so well. What happened? We really thought we had finally overcome our weakness, but then the fall!

     “Whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall” (1Cor 10 vs 12).

Eternal Designs

     “The action of God upon His saints is most gentle. How He respects our liberty! How He condescends to our weakness! He does not run or jump or act violently. We, being weak creatures, rush; but God works slowly, because He deals with eternity. We bewail the passage of minutes; but God serenely watches the flow of years. We wish to achieve the goal of our desires with a single rush; but God prepares His work gently, nor does our inconstancy weary Him, nor do our failures startle Him, nor do the complicated vicissitudes of life overturn His eternal designs.”                 Archbishop Luis M. Martinez



          Our soul is priceless and fragile, created to spend eternity with God, and we must begin to treat it as such. We need to become gentle with ourselves, as God is. We often beat ourselves up because we fall, without taking into account the times we overcame our weakness. We have to learn to be patient with ourselves, and not expect sainthood to be achieved overnight.

Delighting in Last Place

     “Among all the creatures in which we take pleasure and toward which our nature seems to be attracted the most, self undoubtedly holds the first place. There is no one, no matter how limited in talents and good qualities, who does not love his own excellence, and who does not try, in one way or another, to make it shine forth to himself and to others. It is for this reason that we often spontaneously exaggerate our own worth, and as a result are demanding and pretentious. This makes us haughty and arrogant, as well as difficult in our relations with others. Humility is the virtue which keeps within just limits the love of one’s own excellence. Whereas self-esteem often induces us to make ourselves too evident, or to occupy a place which a higher than our due, humility keep us in our own place. Humility is truth: it tends to establish in truth both our intellect – by making us know ourselves as we really are – and our life, by inclining us to take, in relation to God and to men, our proper place and no other.”                                                                                                                                           Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.


     A story is told that when asked which virtues were needed to grow in holiness, St. Augustine answered, “There are three, humility, humility and humility.”

The Rusty Key

     “At Advent we should try the key to our heart’s door. It may have gathered rust. If so, this is the time to oil it, in order that the heart’s door may open more easily when the Lord Jesus wants to enter at Christmas time!”                                                                                                                                                                                                A New Guinea Christian



     What kind of “rust” has gathered on the key to our heart’s door to prevent Jesus from entering? It seems to sneak up on us until we notice its damage, and Christ is locked out!

From Bitter To Sweet

     “By accepting the sufferings ‘offered’ by life and allowed by God for our progress and purification, we spare ourselves much harder ones. We need to develop this kind of realism and, once and for all, stop dreaming of a life without suffering and conflict. That is the life of heaven, not earth. We must take up our cross and follow Christ courageously everyday; the bitterness of that cross will sooner or later be transformed into sweetness.”                                    Fr. Jacques Phillipe



     A wise and holy priest once stated, “Remember, Jesus did not tell us to pick up our picnic baskets each day and follow Him – He said to pick up our cross everyday if we want to be His disciples.”    Although that is a verse from scripture of which we are very familiar, it is one that we often forget when we are bemoaning the hardships of this life. We forget that we are wayfarers and sojourners on the way to heaven and expect instead, a rosy path.

Who, Lord, Do You Say That I Am? -- Part 3

     I was back to my original question. Lord, who do You say that I am? If I’m not Your servant, than who am I? Like Jacob, I did a lot of wrestling with God. Through much pain, suffering, and letting go of the burdens I had placed upon myself, the answer finally did come. I was not just God’s servant, but He revealed to me that I am His Daughter, who happens to get to serve Him. He takes all my effort as a gift. He knows that the results of my efforts are not in my control. He reminded me that He is God and I am not. He wants me to trust Him with my children, because He loves them even more than I do. He helped me recall how He has been with me on my journey through life and that I did not always choose as He would have preferred, nevertheless, He was with me in spite of my choices. He has continued to guide and accompany me on my journey.