“In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine. In the soil, I now surrender, You are breaking new ground. So I yield to You and to Your careful hand. When I trust You I don’t need to understand.
“Make me Your vessel. Make me Your offering. Make me whatever You want me to be. I came here with nothing, but all You have given me. Jesus make new wine out of me.
“In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine. In the soil, I now surrender, You are breaking new ground. You are breaking new ground.
“Where there is new wine, there is new power. There is new freedom and the Kingdom is here. I lay down my old flames to carry Your new fire today.” Lyrics to “New Wine” by Brooke Lingertwood, Hillsong Music
Sometimes you have to be careful for what you pray!
Little did I realize that fact, a year and a half ago, when I asked Jesus, through the intercession of Our Lady of Cana, to turn the water of my marriage into a deep rich wine.
I was yearning for something more, in my relationship with my husband, as well as my relationship with God. What did I have to lose? It felt like an inspiration from the Holy Spirit, so I made my “infamous” request!
Although I had no idea just how God would answer my request, I didn’t expect it to be too difficult or grueling. I assumed that He would point out a few ways that my husband needed to change, and several ways for myself. You know, keep it even. Keep it fair!
Now, in retrospect, I can hear Jesus speaking the words that He uttered to James and John: “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” Mt 20:22.
Jesus was correct. I DID NOT know what I was asking. I had NO idea that I would be placed under a big microscope and that many flaws that I had, would be pointed out to me, and along with them, the manner in which to change.
God began to show me just how very poorly and conditionally I loved. Not just my husband, but many others. He then began to show me how I was not able to overcome my faults on many levels, the way I was able to do in the past. He was showing me all my weaknesses and shortcomings. I felt like I was crushed and pressed – maybe even obliterated! If this was the answer to my prayer, I’m not so sure I wanted that deep rich wine anymore!
I was struggling and suffering in many areas of my life: in my marriage, in relationships with people I loved, in prayer, with God, and many other ways.
I felt confused, and stuck. I didn’t want to move forward or backward because I wasn’t even sure which direction to head. I felt like I was regressing so very much in my relationship with God and on my spiritual journey. I felt like a failure in so many ways and wasn’t sure which way to turn.
It was about that time, when all felt lost, that I gave my dear friend, the Carmelite Hermit, a call and shared my dilemma with him.
To my utter surprise, he told me that I was in a good place. God was in fact, answering my prayer by perfecting me in all the different ways that I was lacking. He told me to be patient with myself and thank God for the work that He was doing in me. Brother told me that for all these years I was self-sufficient, believing it to be a good thing, but it was not. God wanted me to depend upon Him and not myself. I was to allow God to do what needed to be done and to co-operate with Him in bringing this about. This IS really GOOD news, he told me excitedly! Somehow, I didn’t feel his excitement, but he did shine a glimmer of hope on me.
In sharing my “good news” with another friend, she sent me the song, “New Wine,” by Hillsong. She told me that this was My Song: This is what has been happening to you since you prayed for new wine. I listened to the song and then printed the words to digest them and let them sink in.
She was correct! I felt crushed and pressed by all that was happening in my life, but now it all made sense. God was making of me a new wine and I needed to surrender and co-operate. I had to allow Him to work and make an offering of myself and my life so He could change me into whatever He wants me to be.
I needed to yield to Him and stop demanding that I understand all that was happening, and trust instead. I had to surrender in this new soil that was breaking all around me. It was new wine that He was bringing about, if only I would die to my own will and abandon myself to His.
This is not an easy thing to do, but I now realize that it is essential! In order for me to be willing to surrender and die, I have to remind myself that “where there is new wine, there is new power, there is new freedom, and the Kingdom is here. I lay down my old flames, to carry Your new fire today.” I want so much, in the deepest part of my heart, the freedom that God wants to offer to me by changing me into that deep rich wine.
Although I am not yet the “new wine” that I prayed for that evening, I am beginning to smell the aroma of a sweet rich wine. I am not naïve, at this point, to think I’ll be sipping that wine anytime soon. I am well aware, that there is still so much in me that needs to be purified and refined – crushed and pressed. I am now a willing grape, to be placed in the winepress until God has produced the best wine.
I hear Jesus say the promising words, “But I have saved the good wine until now.”
And I do not want to settle for anything less!