Embrace with Submission: Submit with Faith

      “The divine activity permeates the whole universe, it pervades every creature; wherever they are it is there; it goes before them, with them, and it follows them; all they have to do is to let the waves bear on them. Would to God that...all men could know how very easy it would be for them to arrive at a high degree of sanctity. They would only have to fulfill the simple duties of Christianity and of their state in life; to embrace with submission the crosses belonging to that state, and to submit with faith and love to the designs of Providence in all those things that have to be done or suffered without going out of their way to seek occasions for themselves…This is the spirituality of all ages and of every state. No state of life can, assuredly, be sanctified in a more exalted manner, nor in a more wonderful and easy way than by the simple use of the means that God, the sovereign director of souls, given them to do or to suffer at each moment."                                                                                                                                             Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade            

     As I read this quote of Fr. de Caussade, from Abandonment to Divine Providence, I take pause…take a deep breathe, and think, you say this is easy? Maybe I misread--oh--not easy, but very easy!

Come to His Well

     “Action relies upon contemplation for its fruitfulness; and contemplation, in its turn, as soon as it has reaches a certain degree of intensity, pours out upon our active works some of its overflow. And it is by contemplation that the soul goes to draw directly upon the Heart of God for the graces which it is the duty of the active life to distribute. As so, in the soul of a saint, action and contemplation merge together in perfect harmony to give  perfect unity to his life,"                                                                                  Dom Jean-Baptist Chautard   


     I was not quite forty, but as a stay at home mother of five, I was feeling somewhat weary and tired! The giving and doing seemed endless! I wondered at times how I could continue at this pace.
I was serious about my relationship with God and longed to become the woman that God was calling me to be. I just wasn’t sure how to go about doing it. It was at this time in my life when I was blessed with a spiritual director.

Stop! Read! Listen!

     “Indeed, the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.”     
                                                                                        Hebrews 4:12

     God never ceases to amaze me, at the ways in which His Word in Holy Scripture, touches my heart, mind and life.

     As I journeyed through Advent, the richness of the liturgical readings was chock full of treasures, overwhelming me at times, with the generosity of our God!

A School Girl's Call

I Want To Be A Carmelite

There is something special
 I would like to do                  
To dedicate my life to God        
  To Jesus and His Mother too.

Prayers and sacrifices day by day
Bring souls to Christ to their glorious height
How wonderful I feel – so gay!            
 I want to be a Carmelite.

As I climb Mt. Carmel steep
Many times I fall      
Step by step I cannot leap        
To God for help I call.

Our Lady’s colors are tan and brown
And when I reach the mountain top    
From God I’ll receive my glorious crown      
My journey then will finally stop.
                                                                                     Written by Me at age 11

  
     Salvation history is full of examples of God planting a seed and it taking years and years before the “fruit” is seen: the Promised Land, a child to Abraham and Sarah, and the promise of a Savior.

     When I was a little girl – third grade to be exact – God planted the seed of a Carmelite vocation in my heart. I had been introduced to St. Therese, fell in love with her, and almost immediately heard the call. It was so real and strong that I believed it would happen. I wrote the above poem when I was in sixth grade and read it proudly to my co-ed classmates. It seemed like my destiny and like Therese, I could not wait until the time my dream could be fulfilled.

     Somewhere in high school, the call gradually disappeared, as I realized my true vocation was to marriage and motherhood. My thoughts were confirmed several years later when I married and began to raise a family. Being a wife and mother was something I loved and felt called to do.

     God was still a very important part of my life. Carmelite spirituality was something I was still drawn toward, so when time allowed, I read what I could on Carmelite saints. St. Therese’ Little Way was something I particularly loved. She made being holy attainable for everyone. Being a wife and mother, my life was full of little ways I could make sacrifices and save souls. This seemed to be working. I felt like I had the best of both worlds.

     In time, because of my deep spirituality, a friend invited me to visit her secular Carmelite community. She thought it would be something I would enjoy. Although I tried it for a number of months, with four young children and one on the way, it just didn’t work. I felt content with my primary vocation and saw the meetings as more of a burden. It was not for me. I was already practicing many of the requirements on my own, and did not feel the need to be part of a group to be motivated. My friend was mistaken. God was not calling me.

     As my life unfolded and my children grew, so did my relationship with God. It felt full and rich and right. At times I would think about “the call” long ago, and wondered what my life would have been like if I had answered that call. For the most part though, it did not enter my mind. I was serving God by trying my best to fulfill my vocation. God was front and center and I did what I could to bring others to Him as well. I was living my life in the way I believed God was leading, and then something unexpected happened – a question was voiced to me – not once, but twice – by two different people.

     “Have you ever thought about becoming a secular Carmelite?” The first time I just laughed and told my new friend that I had done that twenty five years ago and it wasn’t for me. She suggested that I pray and think about it. Maybe it was time.

     The second time was a month later and although I gave the same answer, I was beginning to wonder what was going on. Why would this happen again?

     Providentially, I was reading a book about a woman who was a secular Camelite. Jesus and Mary addressed her as “My little Carmelite.” Each time I would encounter those words, something in my heart seemed to bubble up. “What is going on?” I began to ask myself. “Is this You Lord, after all these years?”

     I began to bring my questions to prayer, asking God for direction. I emailed a friend who is a secular Carmelite and shared my story. She seemed to think that it sounded like it could be God who was trying to get my attention. I felt astounded! “This is crazy! It can’t be God!”

     I called another Carmelite friend and she invited me to visit her community. She explained everything to me and sent me information. I decided I would take it one meeting at a time and see where it would lead me.

     That was one and a half years ago. I’d like to say that when I walked into the Carmelite community I was struck by lightning certainty. It has not been the case. It has been a time of darkness, doubt and discernment.


     Because I was scheduled to receive my scapular in May, I was interviewed by members of the Council to discern if I had a vocation or not. I felt apprehensive, because I really wasn’t sure what to say. Did I have a vocation to Carmel? I still did not know.

     As the council members spoke with me and asked me questions, the doubt remained. As I shared my story, I began to cry. One of the members asked me how I would feel if I was told I did not have a vocation. “I would feel crushed,” I replied. I then asked them if it could be that God had really planted the seed of my secondary vocation so many years ago and now is the time for its fruition? Their smiles seem to confirm my thoughts. With their blessing, I then decided to take the next step and receive my scapular, surrendering it all into Our Lord’s and Our Lady’s hands.

    As the day approached, I felt very excited. While meditating on the Gospel the night before it was to happen, I was overjoyed to realize it was written just for me. “It was not you who chose Me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain” (Jn 15 vs 16).

     All the darkness and doubt disappeared. God was speaking directly to my heart, mind and soul, confirming His call to me so many years ago. I did have a Carmelite vocation, along with my vocation to marriage. It was not one or the other, but both.

     Now was the time for the seed that was planted long ago to peek its little head above ground and be cultivated. God was planting me in His Garden of Carmel to be formed and pruned as He sees fit. God had used my whole life to bring me to this point. The spirit of Carmel never left me from the time I was a little girl. God did allow me serve Him through my prayers and sacrifices and bring souls closer to Him.

     Being a member of Carmel will strengthen me in my desire, capabilities and capacity to serve God more diligently. I will be blessed with the graces from the Order of Discalced Carmelites to help me accomplish God’s will for my life.

     This totally unexpected gift with which I was blessed, is a perfect example of God’s timing, not mine.

    “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains”
(Jm 5 vs 7).



   
   
     
   
   
   

   
   
   
   
   
     

Becoming Love

     “As we have seen, there is a difference between what God is actually asking of us, and what we imagine He is asking. We won’t have the grace to do what God is not asking of us. But for what He is asking, He has promised His grace: God grants what He commands. When God inspires us to do something (if it really is God who is the source of the inspiration), at the same time He supplies the ability to do it, even if it is beyond our ability and scares us at the start. Every motion that comes from God brings both the light to understand what God intends, and the strength to accomplish it: light that illuminates the mind, and strength that gives power to the will.”  
                                                                                         Fr. Jacques Phillipe


     It is not unusual for those of us who are zealous for God, to want to do great and grand things for Him. We love God so, and want everyone else to love Him with their whole being.

Be Stouthearted and Wait

     “When uncertain about God’s will, it is very important that we tell ourselves: Even if there are aspects of God’s will that escape me, there are always others that I know for sure and can invest in without any risk, knowing that this investment always pays dividends: these certainties include fulfilling the duties of our state in life and practicing the essential points of every Christian vocation. There is a defect here that needs to be recognized and avoided: finding ourselves in darkness about God’s will on an important question . . . we spend so much time searching and doubting or getting discouraged, that we neglect things that are God’s will for us every day, like being faithful to prayer, maintaining trust in God, loving people around us here and now. Lacking the answers about the future, we should prepare to receive them by living today to the full.” Fr. Jacques Phillipe


     There are times in our lives when we flounder. We believe that God is calling us to do something: sometimes a very specific task, while other times something totally unknown to us. We begin to doubt and become impatient and restless because the opportunity has not yet presented itself, or our questions appear unanswered. We make the judgment that it should have happened within a certain amount of time, and when it hasn’t, we question both ourselves and God. “Was this just my imagination, or was it really You God?”

The Gift of Perserverance

     “Above all, it is necessary to ask of God every morning the gift of perseverance, and to beg of the Blessed Virgin to obtain it for you, and particularly in the time of temptation, by invoking the name of Jesus and Mary as long as the temptation lasts. Happy the man who will continue to act in this manner, and shall be found so doing when Jesus Christ shall come to judge him. ‘Blessed is that servant, whom, when his Lord shall come, he shall find so doing’ (Matt. 24:46).” St. Alphonsus De Liguori



     It is quite clear that St. Alphonsus was well aware of our human weakness. It is so very difficult for us to consistently strive, day in and day out, in our quest toward holiness. We grow weary, tired, and impatient, and can long for days when life could be a bit easier.

Who, Lord, Do You Say That I Am? -- Part 1

   Knowing who I am and feeling confidant and self assured was normal for me for a good part of my life. I did well in school, had a nice social life, knew my role in my family and had a comfortable relationship with God. I even managed to get through the late 60’s and early 70’s with my faith and morals pretty much intact and marry a wonderful guy, and all this happened by the time I was twenty years old.

     I remember Helen Reddy belting out the song “I am Woman” in 1972 and somehow not really being able to relate to her battle cry. I never felt held down or unable to reach my goals. I never looked at being a woman as something inferior, nor did I feel looked down upon. I was always someone who achieved the goals I had set for myself. I did not feel like I had missed out or was limited by life’s choices because I was a woman and now, a wife and hoped to be a “stay at home” mother.  The role and identity of women seemed to take an even greater shift in the late 70’s and 80’s and by the 90’s, finding fulfillment in “just” motherhood was almost extinct.