How often in our lives we experience unjust treatment?
We enter into dialogue with a friend, family member or stranger, and suddenly and quite unexpectedly, we are berated, criticized, and put down!
We are taken aback, quite frankly, by their words and behavior, and want to lash out in retaliation. We want to unleash upon them the verbal whipping we have just received. It seems right. It seems just. It appears to be the appropriate thing to do. After all, who do they think they are? We deserve better treatment than that. What were they thinking to have treated us in this way?
This was the scenario that played within my mind recently during an event in my life. I did not snap back, but became quiet instead. Although I believed my treatment to be unjust, I was trying my best to get passed my feelings, because I wasn’t really sure what had precipitated the negative behavior. I asked God for insight, as I went about my day.
As I prayed the scriptures that evening, a reading from the first letter of St. Peter, penetrated deeply within my mind and soul. “If you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good, this is a grace before God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in His footsteps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth” (1Peter 2:20b-22).
“Sweet Jesus, when situations like this happen, are You telling me to just accept it? Unlike You who are sinless, I am a sinner, and so I am not always blameless. What are You telling me to do?” Being uncertain, I continued to ask for guidance.
“When He was insulted, He returned no insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten; instead, He handed Himself over to the one who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).
“Wow! I thought. It’s becoming clearer to me. You don’t want me to return insult or injury. Don’t fight evil with evil, but hand myself and the situation over to God, the only One who judges justly. I don’t know what is going on with the other person. I don’t know where this is coming from, but You do.”
“He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed” (1 Peter 2:24).
“Lord Jesus, are You asking me to bear this sin of ‘the other,’ to help free them from this sin? Are You asking me to offer it up to You so that both of us will be healed?”
As these revelations sunk into my head and heart, I felt challenged! I had read these scriptures many time before and had never seen them in this light. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what exactly God was expecting of me. I realized that I would not only need time, to help me understand, but an abundance of God’s grace, wrapped in a huge container of humility.
For the next several days, thoughts about God’s message to me, ruminated in my mind. I wanted to fully grasp the meaning so I could move toward making it a practice in my life.
I knew that God did not want me to be a doormat, or allow any type of abuse in my life. This wasn’t what I had experienced. It appeared to be more of a reaction that had been directed toward me – like displaced anger. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I recalled times when I myself had been short or curt with people when I felt burdened, tired or weary. These were the instances that I believed God was talking about.
“Okay. That makes sense,” I thought. I then recalled moments in the past when I had experienced this type of criticism or harsh words and played out instances when I “reacted” with words of retaliation, and times when I “responded” with either silence or compassion. The times when I reacted seemed to fuel the fire that was being thrust upon me. But when I responded instead, it seemed to either diffuse the situation or at least not make it any worse. Also, when I responded, if I happened to lose my peace, I regained it sooner. My thoughts stayed clearer, and I was able to see if I was at fault in this situation, or if someone else was just having a bad day. It allowed me to reframe from taking it personally, so it didn’t sting quite as much.
As I pondered these situations, I remembered that there were also times, when a verbal response was necessary. Sometimes it was spoken as the situation was unfolding, while other times, after the fire had cooled. But the words were always prayed about, thought about and spoken with love and courage.
“Lord, this is a hard lesson! When situations like this happen, it is fierce and quick! It is so easy just to react! But you are calling me to be like Your Son – to die to what I feel like doing and love as You do.” I felt burdened. I knew God would not ask me to do something without giving me the help I needed to accomplish it! I needed to have an easy plan to be able to change my behavior. “Spell it out clearly Lord,” I prayed.
As I pondered the scripture, once again, three things stood out: “this is a grace before God,” “to this you have been called that you should follow in Christ’s footsteps,” and “He handed Himself over to the One who judges justly.” These passages were key. I needed to call upon God and depend upon His grace, imitate Christ’s example and then hand the situation over to God, expecting Him to lead me and guide me.
God is such a good and patient teacher. He teaches us lessons and then allows lots of situations in our lives to occur to help us to practice. Sometimes we pass with flying colors, while other times we fail miserably. Either way, God will not give up on us. The challenge for us is not to give up on ourselves! We must trust in the Lord and His strength.
We know that it is God and not us, when an awkward situation is resolved pleasantly and we can walk away with a smile on our face. This is a gift of God’s grace and what He can do through us when we cooperate and follow His lead.
Look for the footprints of Christ. He will never lead you astray!