The Rocky, Bumpy Road to Bethlehem

     “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with the worries of this life.”   
                                                                                                          Luke 21:34


     Thanksgiving was behind me.

     Advent was quickly approaching.

     My prayer: My God, on what do You want me to focus in order for my heart and mind to be ready for Jesus on Christmas morning?

     You may not realize it, but I like to have a plan and not waste any time, whipping myself into spiritual shape. God knew what He was doing in not having me born during the times of hair shirts and self-flagellation!

     Each time I brought this thought to prayer, I got the sense that God wanted me to work on becoming gentler and more patient ABOUT myself. “That’s a novel thought. Doesn’t sound too difficult! Maybe it’s not from God… I’ll keep asking.”

     But the answer did not change. It remained the same: be gentler with yourself and more patient. “Hmm. I guess this IS what He wants.”

     As I thought and prayed about God’s answer, it became clear that the past twenty-two months have been pretty intense. Truth be told, as I pondered more fully, it became evident that I have not given myself a break! When my different faults and foibles were revealed to me in either prayer, or in life situations, I was sent into a panic! It was all up to me to change, and to do it quickly! I went to work, doing I what I could to remedy my behavior. I expected far too much from myself and wanted to eradicate the imperfections that I saw right then and there. I searched for books to help, spent time in prayer and talked to family members and friends. I also spent time before Our Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, hoping He would heal me of all my brokenness. I wanted to fix it, take control of the situation and become that woman God has called me to be from all eternity, without any more delay!

     To my surprise, this is not the route God is purposing. God is calling me to slow down. Take a deep breath and accept both His help, as well as His timing. He is calling me to stop the frantic pace of having to be perfect. Perfection was not His idea, but mine. Ugh!

     Why was I trying so hard? After all, intellectually, I knew I was far from perfect, but when all of my imperfections were revealed to me, my reaction said otherwise. I didn’t want to take the slow, sometimes painful, long road and journey to change. I wanted to be on the fast track and just arrive. Well, maybe not just arrive. I was willing to do the hard work that was involved, but I wanted it to be over in a timely fashion.

     Unbeknown to me, I had let my heart get weighed down with the worries of my life, trying to fix myself. I am not the Potter, He is!

     God has impressed on my heart that becoming THAT woman, will take a lifetime and possibly, some time in purgatory as well! It will take my cooperation, but is His work and timeline. I still need to be alert to His promptings and grace, and open myself to His design.

     This will still involve prayer, receiving the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Penance, time before the Blessed Sacrament, asking for His healing for my own woundedness, spiritual reading, as well as speaking with family and friends about cares and concerns, as they present themselves. I will still try to practice all the lessons He has taught me these past number of months and stay His course. But my attitude with my effort will be quite different. I will stop trying so hard, believing it is ALL UP TO ME! I will also have to remind myself that I do not have the timeline by which it HAS to happen! Only the good Lord knows when He will be calling me home.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    As Advent begins, please join me on a journey. I am traveling with Mary and Joseph. Mary is very pregnant with my sweet Jesus, so I cannot be in a hurry. I must go at their pace and not my own.

     I will spend time speaking with St. Joseph, seeking the wisdom of his good counsel and direction. I will turn to him when I’m unsure of which direction to take. With his gifts, wisdom and manly care, the Holy Family arrived at their destination. He will help me to do the same.

     When I’m feeling weary of the journey, I will climb up on the donkey with Mary, and wrap my arms around Her. I’ll allow myself to be comforted by Her words, as well as The Word, safe within Her womb. I’ll speak to Her, heart to Heart, as one does to such a precious Mother. I’ll let Her nurture me with Her presence, as well as the presence of Her Son.

     This Advent, and hopefully beyond, I will allow myself the luxury, of slowing down and being gentler and patient with myself. I will breath in God’s love and acceptance of Whose I am, receiving it, so I can become who He sees when He looks so lovingly at me.

     I will try my best not to allow my heart to be weighed down by the worries and burdens of life, and instead, make room for Jesus to reside there.

     “May the God of peace Himself make you perfectly holy and my you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will also accomplish it” (2 Thes:23-24).
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

The Many Faces of Jesus

     “We must all grow in a clear conviction of our duty to be holy as Jesus is holy. Holiness is one of the most beautiful gifts a human heart can offer to God. We should serve Jesus in His poor by doing for them the things we would like to do for Him. This is where sanctity is hidden for us: in knowing Jesus, in loving Jesus in the people around us. If we do this, we will become professionals in holiness.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   St. Teresa of Calcutta


     We are all called to be holy – to become another Christ, to be selfless and centered on someone, other than ourselves. Mother Teresa tells us that one of the ways we can do this, is by serving Jesus in the poor, by doing things for them that we would like to do for Him.

     Because most of us do not have the opportunity to serve the poor as Mother Teresa did, we may think that this takes us off the hook. It does not!

     St. Teresa is clear that serving Jesus in the poor, is serving the very people who are around us – the people whom we come in contact, day in and day out: our family, our friends, strangers, our colleagues, people who work in the grocery and department stores, and everyone we meet!

     Seeing the hidden Jesus in everyone is often difficult for us. We can deceive ourselves into thinking that He really can’t be present in that person with whom we struggle, or in that grouchy so and so. It’s difficult to see Jesus in people whom we judge to be unlike Him; those who are curt, unkind, or unkempt. No, Jesus couldn’t be there! 

     We can also forget that Jesus is in our children, our spouses, our friends and neighbors. Jesus is right there, waiting for us to recognize Him – to give Him our love and our heart. We don’t always see Him and miss the opportunity to grow in holiness. We fool ourselves by thinking that holiness would be easier achieved by running off to Calcutta to serve the poor, rather than serving those God has placed in our midst.

     Do not fret! With Advent upon us, we are entering into one of the greatest times, filled with countless opportunities to put this into practice. Advent is a time to ready our hearts for Jesus. It’s a time to open our hearts and welcome Him. It’s when we get to put on the eyes of our heart and look for Him, in each and every person we meet. Unlike the people of Bethlehem, we do not want to send Him away because we did not recognize Him.

     So, while we’re out shopping, see the face of Jesus, while at home, see the face of Jesus, at work or in the car, see the face of Jesus, or in whomever we’re with, see the face of Jesus. Force yourself to believe, especially when it is in ordinary or difficult circumstances. Then, with your vision adjusted, give Jesus a kind word, smile or your love. It won’t be easy, but with God’s help, it is possible. Don’t waste an opportunity! Use this time to practice, practice, practice – it does not come natural for most of us.

     There will be many times when you’ll forget, or when it will be a stretch to see Jesus because He is wearing a distressing disguise. But, be patient with yourself, realizing that it will take some time and practice till your vision is changed. Although reaching holiness is not easy, it is God’s will for us and is the most beautiful gift our human heart can offer to Him. God will help you! Ask for His assistance.

     Each day when you arise, ask the Holy Spirit to help you see Christ in all you will meet that day. Ask Mary to give you her heart to love, her eyes to see, and her words to speak to all. Beg for the openness to accept the graces that God showers upon you each day to grow in awareness and holiness. Pray to Mother Teresa to intercede for you that you may grow in holiness, by doing all the things for others, that you would like to do for Jesus.

     Like St. Teresa of Calcutta, you will become a professional in holiness!

     “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers, you did for Me” (Mt 25:40).
    
    

Mary -- My Mother -- My Teacher

     “Your prayer, like all things, rests entirely in the hands of the Father. As you spend time with Mary in prayer, and as she reveals her heart to you, she will share with you how she is able to receive the Father’s love in all circumstances, whether holding Jesus in her arms at Bethlehem or Calvary. Mary’s pure heart is able to accept divine love in every moment, even when her circumstances are painful. Mary has utter trust in the Father’s care for her, and she is completely surrendered to His will, even to the point of offering her dear Son at Calvary without any resistance. Mary will show you how to trust completely, how to admit the Father’s love into every circumstance, and how to allow Him to have total control of your life, in the confidence that He will stay with you. By being with Mary at Calvary, she shares with you her freedom to allow God to love as He chooses and in the measure that He desires. No part of Mary’s life is protected from God; everything is His. Mary leads you into this experience from the inside, from her own awareness of God and from her own willingness to let Him be everything for  her.                                                                                           
 Good counsel from a wise and holy priest


     These precious words were given to me in spiritual direction over five and a half years ago. Since that time, I have meditated on these words, again and again, trying to glean and receive from Mary, my mother, this awesome lesson of trust.

     Learning to accept and receive Papa’s love when circumstances are painful, is not something that comes natural to me. Often like a frightened little child, I want to run and hide – fleeing from the pain – hoping it will just disappear. The thought that my heavenly Father has allowed it, does not give me comfort but sets me in confusion. My reaction points out how very far I am from complete surrender and trust in the love of the Father. My vision is skewed. I do not yet see life as Mary does.

    “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5: 8).

     Unlike my mother Mary, my heart is not pure. I do not always see God nor feel His love in difficult circumstances. My heart is wounded by my own sins and by the pain inflicted by others. In my woundedness, I fear the cost of consciously making myself vulnerable. I fear laying aside my own will when receiving all the burden of life’s circumstances – and accepting the will of God without resistance. Nevertheless, I am well aware that I cannot control every aspect of my life, nor the lives of those I love. Life will have its way and things will happen that will be painful and difficult. And though I try to resist the idea of surrender, something deep within my mind and heart calls me to beg and plead to my Mother that I may receive this special grace from God.

     This desire causes me to want to spend time with Mary at Calvary, so she may share with me her freedom to allow God to love me as He chooses and in the measure He desires. I long to give all to God and not close any area of my life to Him as “off limits.” I yearn to truly learn from Mary how to accept God’s divine love in every moment of my life – painful times as well as joyous. I desire to stop hiding behind a chair, like a frightened child, and run to my Papa’s arms instead – receiving the love that He longs to lavish upon me. My hope is that my Mother Mary will teach me and lead me to allow God, my heavenly Father, to be everything for me.

     Although I have progressed in this area, it is clear I have much to learn and surrender. God ALONE knows the remaining time I have on this earth and He will adjust my lessons accordingly. Until He calls me home, I will continue to be a pupil in the school of Mary, praying to her Spouse the Holy Spirit, asking Him to fill me with His gifts and graces to respond fully that I may become a true daughter of my Mother Mary!
    
         
    

Christ Visible

     “If we approach with faith, we too will see Jesus . . . for the Eucharistic table takes the place of the crib. Here the Body of the Lord is present, wrapped not in swaddling clothes but in the rays of the Holy Spirit.”                                                            St. John Chrysostom


     During the Christmas holidays, our churches look so beautiful with lighted trees, rich altar tapestries, and of course, the stable where baby Jesus lies in the manger. As we sing, “O come let us adore Him,” I am sure many of us would have loved to have been present to experience the birth of Our Lord long ago. If, by some great miracle, God was humanly present in our churches, on a particular day at a particular time, I feel certain we would do whatever was necessary to be there – just to gaze upon our sweet little Jesus.

And the Word Became Flesh

     “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God, all things came to be through Him, and without Him nothing came to be. And the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. He was in the world and the world came to be through Him, but the world did not know Him. He came to what was His own, but His own people did not accept Him.  (Jn 1 vs 1-5, 14, 10-11).


     When Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem, it became clear that the Babe in her womb, the Word of God, was to be born. The town was teeming with others who had come to register in the City of David. Every place Joseph turned for shelter, they found rejection. The inns were all filled! They turned them away and sent them off. It was not their problem. Let somebody else help them.