The Best Gift Ever

     I was so looking forward to Advent this year! I was tired of straddling the fence in several areas in my life, and saw Advent as a perfect opportunity to rid my heart of clutter. I intended to work hard to purify and cleanse my heart, making it ready to receive Jesus on Christmas morning.

     But as we lit the pink candle on our Advent wreath last Sunday, I quietly cringed inwardly. On some fronts, I was doing very well, but in one area in particular, I was ashamed.

     I had started out with such good intentions, yet looking back, in no time at all, I had failed! It was just days into the first week when it seemed, I gave in to myself and my wants. Each time I would fall, I would chastise myself, ask for forgiveness, and begin again. I told myself, “Okay, you didn’t do so great this week, but you have three more weeks to go, just do it!”

     But somehow when that cunning voice of temptation came my way, I did not fight – or if I did, it wasn’t for long. I found myself giving in once again!

     Boy, was I struggling! No, that was the problem! I wasn’t putting up much of a fight at all!  I was blocking out the graces to overcome myself. The evil one, well aware of my weakness, would taunt me after my fall. I’d hear his nagging voice: “What if it was alcohol or drugs or something really serious that was tempting you? You can’t do it! You are doomed to fail! You’re pretty pathetic!”

     Although the evil one was delighted with my fall, he wanted to make sure I continued to stay down on myself. I had to admit, I agreed with his assessment of me, in this area. I was so weak! It was as if all of my spiritual muscles to fight back were gone! I did not want to say no to myself, like a spoiled, bratty child. I wanted what I wanted, more than trying to get rid of my inordinate attachment! The truth stung!

     My main problem was that I wasn’t going to God for His help. I was depending upon myself and that was not working! I had forgotten that I am a weak “Child of God,” who is wounded by original sin. But the flip side to that story is, through my Baptism, my Papa has given me the grace to overcome my weakness. I have to be open to the grace and cooperate with the whispers of the Holy Spirit. I realized that I needed God’s help and the will to do battle with my strong self-love!

     There were still two weeks left. Everything was not lost. I had to come up with a strategy. I wanted to give my heart completely to Jesus, but this time, I would not do it alone!

     “Keep custody of our heart with all vigilance; for from it flows the springs of life” (Prov 4:23).

     I have not been vigilant. I have become half-hearted. If I wanted to keep custody of my heart and keep it as a throne solely for Our Lord, I have to begin to fight. I have to evict the intruders and not allow them to roam freely in my heart. They were not welcomed anymore. They were not my friends. They did not have any love for me. In associating with them, I had turned my back on God, my first Love.

     “You have lost the love you had at first. Realize how far you have fallen. Repent, and do the works you did at first” (Rv 2:4-5).

     Our God is so good and gentle. When He allows us to see our sins and faults, in the light of His grace, although we may feel sad for offending the One we love, we also feel determined to turn away from sin, and run into the arms of God. With that realization, we remember that He is always there to help us in our moment of temptation. We need to look to Him for our way of escape!

     “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor 10:13).

     Praise be to God! With this awakening I am doing better battling my attachment. My eyes are on “The Prize” and not on myself anymore. I am depending upon God for His help and not upon myself. In times of temptation, I am looking for the way to escape, whether it be quoting scripture, leaving the place where I am tempted, going to prayer, pulling a bead on my sacrifice beads, or just calling for God’s help. I have been awakened to the fact, that a battle is going on for my heart, and I know Who I want the Victor to be!

     There is an excitement and joy in my saying “no” to my inordinate wants, so I can be filled instead with the love of God. I feel delighted, like a little child who is accumulating special little gifts to place in the manger on Christmas morning. I am not going to allow my previous falls, to diminish all that I’m able to give to Jesus.

     You too may not be doing so well, with all you had hoped to accomplish spiritually this Advent. Do not fret! You still have a whole week! You can make up for the way you have fallen and garner lots of gifts for baby Jesus.

      Give God all your worries and concerns. It is often when we are burdened that we lose our focus and take our eyes away from Jesus. Give Him your time. Ask God to multiply it so you can accomplish what really needs to be done. Look into your heart and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you in the way you need to change to grow closer to God. Seek His forgiveness and go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Accept His grace to overcome yourself and your inordinate attachments. In times of temptation look for the way to escape. Praise God before each victory because He’s there to help! Give Him glory and praise when you have overcome yourself. Praise Him when you fail. It’s an opportunity to grow in humility and recognize your utter dependence upon God. Get up after each failure knowing with God’s grace, you will do better the next time. Be vigilant like a soldier on watch! Do not allow the enemy to breech your heart. It belongs to God. Let your actions make that declaration – our actions speak volumes – to ourselves and others. Waste no more time!

     “It is the hour now for you to awake from sleep. For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed; the night is far advanced, the day is at hand.” (Rm 13:11-12). 

     Christmas is coming quickly! Give God your love. Share with Him your joy! Don’t turn Jesus away! Open the door and give Him your heart!

     On Christmas morning, with joy, you will be able to boldly proclaim, “Happy birthday, Baby Jesus! Here is the gift of my heart!