The Assumption of Mary

 Oh, my Dear Sweet Glorious Mother

You who were not God

Followed His will so completely and generously

As no human had done before and none since.

You who were so wrapped up in God

And not in self

Became Eucharist and gave all

So that He who was All

Could become Eucharist for us.

You surrendered yourself to God

So He in turn

Could surrender Himself to us.

You gave us your Son and we killed Him….

And still you stood by us

Giving birth to us to new life.

Help me my Mother!

Help me to let go of self as you did.

Help me to surrender my will

So I may resemble you and your Son Jesus.

Help me not to fear the dying I must do

In order to live fully in Christ.

As you imitated Father, Son and Spirit in their self giving

Help me to do the same

In all the big and small ways that come into my daily life.

Help me to abandon myself

And become so wrapped up in God as you were

That I, like you, forget myself.

O Sweet Mother of Humility

God could not resist sweeping you up to heaven to Himself

To be the Bride

Pure and spotless and radiant in beauty

The perfect honor of our race.

Help me, your daughter,

To resemble, even slightly, the Mother,

So that God cannot resist me also.

Mary, Queen of Heaven,

Pray for me!

Gifts from the Father

 “All good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change.”                                          James 1:17  

    As I rode home from my retreat, an early birthday gift from my siblings, my heart felt free! There was a sense of reclaimed hopes and dreams, which I had abandoned for some time. I was curious to see just how things would be different.

Total Abandonment

     “To us, weak creatures, the idea of a complete, final surrender often is frightening, but that is because we do not know God well enough. The fact is that God’s will for us is always for our happiness and when we do surrender to it, it is to our own happiness that we are abandoning ourselves.”       
                                                                                  Caryll Houselander


     Complete and final surrender: we run from it! Since our fall from grace in the Garden of Eden, humanity has always wanted to pick and choose for themselves: Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah, and on and on and on. We think we know what is best for us, and at times, become our own little god, by manipulating events in the direction we see fit. We refuse to accept the reality of our lives and instead, sabotage the outcome. 

Power, Wisdom and Love

    “By our belief in the Holy Trinity we acknowledge in one single God, Power, Wisdom and Love, and these three are one. Now surely, I do see what an immense effect such a doctrine must have upon life.  It is no mere question for theologians, but one that concerns every living soul. Whatever is allowed by God’s power must be guided by His wisdom and urged on by His love. All that happens to me in life, the little worries and the great anxieties, the crisis and the daily annoyances, the sorrow and the joys, the harms that reach me through the sins of others, the great cries of history, the huge and devastating wars, the partings and loves and the whole cycle of human experiences are permitted by Power which is itself wise and loving. These three Persons determine my life, and since I walk by faith, I must surely grow very patient in my attitude through life. For how can I complain or criticize God’s Providence, since it comes under the triple influence of Power, Wisdom and Love? Under the guidance, then, of this mystery, I can walk through the valley of death or the more perilous borders of sin without loss of courage or hopelessness. Nothing can make me afraid. How these are separate, but one, I do not know, nor can I reconcile in my concrete experience the claims of each. It is always a mystery, but a mystery in which I believe. Whatever Power allows on earth is designed in Wisdom and attuned by Love.”           
                                                                                Father Bede Jarrett



     As I read and pondered the words of Father Jarrett, I shook my head in awe, wonder and gratitude for the wisdom he has bequeathed to us!

Victim No More

     It was the morning of the second day of my retreat. Upon waking, questions that I needed to pose to God became apparent.

     As a secular Carmelite, I will choose a name at the time of my profession. Although it is more than a year away, it is something about which I have already been thinking and praying. The name that God placed upon my heart is “Therese Joy of the Wounded Hearts.”

Look to Heaven and Smile

     “The soul that does not attach itself solely to the will of God will find neither satisfaction nor sanctification in any other means however excellent by which it may attempt to gain them. If that which God Himself chooses for you does not content you, from whom do you expect to obtain what you desire? . . . No soul can be really nourished, fortified, purified, enriched, and sanctified except in fulfilling the duties of the present moment.”                                                                                                                                                            Fr Jean-Pierre de Caussade


     Being purified of our own self-will is one of the most difficult aspects of growing in sanctity! Our wills are alive and well and do not like to be crossed! Our daily plans often get changed, much to our displeasure, and it is rare we accept them in peace.

      If we peered into a mirror to look upon our demeanor, it would become clear to us, as it is to all around us, that we are anything but peace filled. We mumble, grumble and may even growl at those who are near. We are not a picture of sanctity, but rather resemble a bratty child who has not gotten their way! 

     We are called to resemble our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whose food was to do the will of His Father. Jesus was clear in His call to His disciples: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Lk 9: 23-24).

     “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God” (Lk 9: 62). We need to let go of our will. We need to let go and not look back and to what we wanted. Trusting instead, that the situation that has presented itself, is God’s way for us to grow in holiness. It may not be to our choosing or to our liking, but it is for our best. Believing this will often take a heroic act of the will on our part. God will give us the grace to surrender our will. We need to accept the grace, believe that is present to us, and act as though it is . . . whether we feel it or not.

     Father de Caussaude is clear. It is in fulfilling the duties of the present moment—the situations right in front of us – those we have planned and those we have not -- which will nourish, fortify, purify, enrich and sanctify our soul. It is our path to holiness. It is the narrow path that our Lord speaks about that few choose.

     Each and every day, life presents to us many ways to put this into practice. If you’re like me, practice has still not made perfect – far from it. And it is sainthood that our good God is calling us to achieve; that does not come easily!


     So, when you have gone from plan A to plan G and it’s only 9 a.m., when your car breaks down or your pipes are leaking, when your children are sick or your loved one needs your help, when you’re once again called to do what you’d really rather not be doing, rejoice and be glad! God is giving you another opportunity to grow in holiness.

     Look up to heaven and smile. God is just doing His job trying to strengthen our spiritual muscles until we grow in likeness to His Son, Jesus.

     You know how the saying goes: If you want to make God smile, tell Him your plans for the day. If you want to hear Him belly laugh, tell Him your plans for your life.

     God’s plans for our lives are not always easy, but when we cooperate and operate in His grace, the results are always heavenly!

     Stop resisting. Give in. Father does know best!
     
    
    
     
    
    
    

Mary -- My Mother -- My Teacher

     “Your prayer, like all things, rests entirely in the hands of the Father. As you spend time with Mary in prayer, and as she reveals her heart to you, she will share with you how she is able to receive the Father’s love in all circumstances, whether holding Jesus in her arms at Bethlehem or Calvary. Mary’s pure heart is able to accept divine love in every moment, even when her circumstances are painful. Mary has utter trust in the Father’s care for her, and she is completely surrendered to His will, even to the point of offering her dear Son at Calvary without any resistance. Mary will show you how to trust completely, how to admit the Father’s love into every circumstance, and how to allow Him to have total control of your life, in the confidence that He will stay with you. By being with Mary at Calvary, she shares with you her freedom to allow God to love as He chooses and in the measure that He desires. No part of Mary’s life is protected from God; everything is His. Mary leads you into this experience from the inside, from her own awareness of God and from her own willingness to let Him be everything for  her.                                                                                           
 Good counsel from a wise and holy priest


     These precious words were given to me in spiritual direction over five and a half years ago. Since that time, I have meditated on these words, again and again, trying to glean and receive from Mary, my mother, this awesome lesson of trust.

     Learning to accept and receive Papa’s love when circumstances are painful, is not something that comes natural to me. Often like a frightened little child, I want to run and hide – fleeing from the pain – hoping it will just disappear. The thought that my heavenly Father has allowed it, does not give me comfort but sets me in confusion. My reaction points out how very far I am from complete surrender and trust in the love of the Father. My vision is skewed. I do not yet see life as Mary does.

    “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5: 8).

     Unlike my mother Mary, my heart is not pure. I do not always see God nor feel His love in difficult circumstances. My heart is wounded by my own sins and by the pain inflicted by others. In my woundedness, I fear the cost of consciously making myself vulnerable. I fear laying aside my own will when receiving all the burden of life’s circumstances – and accepting the will of God without resistance. Nevertheless, I am well aware that I cannot control every aspect of my life, nor the lives of those I love. Life will have its way and things will happen that will be painful and difficult. And though I try to resist the idea of surrender, something deep within my mind and heart calls me to beg and plead to my Mother that I may receive this special grace from God.

     This desire causes me to want to spend time with Mary at Calvary, so she may share with me her freedom to allow God to love me as He chooses and in the measure He desires. I long to give all to God and not close any area of my life to Him as “off limits.” I yearn to truly learn from Mary how to accept God’s divine love in every moment of my life – painful times as well as joyous. I desire to stop hiding behind a chair, like a frightened child, and run to my Papa’s arms instead – receiving the love that He longs to lavish upon me. My hope is that my Mother Mary will teach me and lead me to allow God, my heavenly Father, to be everything for me.

     Although I have progressed in this area, it is clear I have much to learn and surrender. God ALONE knows the remaining time I have on this earth and He will adjust my lessons accordingly. Until He calls me home, I will continue to be a pupil in the school of Mary, praying to her Spouse the Holy Spirit, asking Him to fill me with His gifts and graces to respond fully that I may become a true daughter of my Mother Mary!
    
         
    

The Father's Response

     “Prayers are God-filled words in which our love and God’s love are joined. That love embraces the people for whom we are praying, and love changes people and situations. This doesn’t mean that we will always get what we want, but Jesus does promise we will get what we need.”                                                                                                                                Rev. Jude Winkler, O.F.M.

     “God loves me so much that He provides my every need. God’s providence disposes and directs everything for His honor and glory and for the good of my soul."                                                                                                                                                            Mother Angelica


     In our head, we know that both Father Jude’s and Mother Angelica’s statements speak truth. But in our heart, when life does not turn out the way we were hoping and praying it would, we are filled with doubt.

     Watching those we love suffer is difficult. We wish that we could take their place and relieve them of their pain. God will sometimes allow us to share in their suffering, but our loved ones still remain on the cross. It is difficult to see both God’s love and ours embracing them while their suffering continues. During times of trial, it is downright hard to believe we’ve received what we need!

The Light of Our Lives

     “Faith ought to be the light which envelops not only our moments of prayer but our whole life as well. In prayer we say, ‘I believe in God, the Father almighty’; but a few minutes afterwards, in the face of some difficult task, a tiresome person, or something which upsets our plans, we forget that these have all been willed and planned by God for our good. We forget that God is our Father, and therefore is more concerned about our welfare than we are ourselves. We forget that God is all-powerful and can help us in every difficulty. In losing sight of the light of faith, which makes us see everything as dependent upon God and ordered by Him for our good, we lose ourselves in merely human considerations and protests, as if God had nothing to do with our life or had very little place in it. We give way to discouragement as though we had no faith. Yes, we believe in God, the Father Almighty, but we do not believe to the point of seeing His will, or at least His permission, in every circumstance. And yet, until faith becomes such a factor in our life that it makes us see all in relation to God, and as dependent upon Him, we will not be able to say that the light of faith is the guide of our life. It is, of course, but only partially. How often this true light, which participates in the very light of God, remains hidden under the bushel of a mentality which is still too human, too earthly!                                                                                                                                                                                                            Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, OCD

     As I sat in Church that quiet summer afternoon, I felt weary! I had just experienced a very busy week that had exhausted me both physically and emotionally – and it wasn’t over yet – I still had many things to do and places to go. With my tank on empty, I realized I needed to be in the Eucharistic Presence of God and allow myself to be filled with Jesus and His love.

     When I am in a place of emptiness, I have found that writing a letter to God is helpful. I sat there with my pen and paper in hand and poured out my heart to my dear sweet Jesus. I wrote about everything and everyone that I was carrying. I was burdened and needed to hand it all over to Him. I knew He wouldn’t mind. He Himself told us, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up My yoke and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart: and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Mt 11: 28-30).

     When I finished the written part of my prayer, I began to verbalize, in my mind, what was troubling my heart. “Lord, give me faith the size of a mustard seed. Mine must be smaller than that because You tell us that if our faith was the size of a mustard seed, we could move a mountain. Right now I can’t seem to be able to move anything. Strengthen my faith. You know Jesus, I do believe. Help my unbelief!”

     With that prayer uttered, the flood gates opened. As my tears flowed, like a little child, I wanted to be with my Papa. I imaged myself running to Him, climbing on His lap. He opened His arms to me and held me close. Tears streamed down my face as some disappointing memories of life paraded before my mind. As each memory presented itself, I asked, “Why, Papa? Why?” The tears continued, as did the memories, as I sat face to face with life’s difficult mysteries. I didn’t understand why all of these hardships had occurred, or why my life was still “permeated” by some. I knew in my head that I may never understand the “whys” while I live here on earth, but that day, I had the courage to at least ask God the questions.

     Although I did not get an answer, a feeling of peace enveloped me. As I opened myself to God’s peace, from the depths of my heart a plea arose, my God, what do You want me to learn from all of this? What are You trying to teach me!

     As I sat in His stillness, I realized a truth I must never forget: God is my Papa! He cares about me like no one else. He only wants what is good for me and when things get difficult, He is there with me to guide me and fill me with His graces. Because of the stain of original sin, I sometimes make wrong choices. At times, to my detriment, my woundedness and my longing to be loved, blinds me to do far too much for others. It is my unconscious belief that my actions will repair damage that’s been inflicted. It hasn’t worked. I cannot “fix” what is broken. I must leave that to God and be patient and cooperate with His grace. My faith must be increased. Faith is KNOWNING that God KNOWS: believing that He really KNOWS what is happening and can handle things. I need to trust and allow the light of my faith to enable me to see things from this vantage point. God IS ALMIGHTY and brings about good from evil. Look at the crucifixion! It was followed by the resurrection. I need to be humble and trust God, embracing my place as the child of His heart.

     It so easy at times to forget that I am a sojourner and a wayfarer on this journey of life: heaven is my destination. I must grow in grace and virtue, as I navigate towards sanctification. At times, I must learn to walk in darkness, trusting the One who is mapping out my route. I must learn to listen to His promptings on the way and respond fully to them. He will not leave me to travel alone, but will accompany me every step of the way – whether I’m aware of Him or not.

     I pray one day that like Elizabeth of the Trinity, I may be able to proclaim: “Everthing that happens is a message to me of God’s great love for my soul.”

     Till then I pray: O my dear sweet God! I don’t want to hide the light of my faith under a bushel basket. I want it to shine and guide my whole life. I want to KNOW that You KNOW what is happening each moment and that I am totally dependent upon You for everything. Send me the Comforter – Your Holy Spirit – to reassure me on my journey and guide me. May He fill me with Your gifts, fruits and virtues, so I may not give in to discouragement. Help me to accept that all that happens is for my sanctity. Increase my faith.

     I believe Lord. Help my unbelief.

    

    

    

     

    

The Rock

     “I turned every way, but there was no one to help me, I looked for one to sustain me, but could find no one. But then I remembered the mercies of the Lord, His kindness through ages past; For He saves those who take refuge in Him, and rescues them from every evil. So I raised my voice from the very earth, from the gates of the nether world, my cry, I called out: O Lord, You are my father, You are my champion and my savior; Do not abandon me in time of trouble, in the midst of storms and dangers.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sirach 51:7-10

     Life can change so suddenly and quickly! One minute everything is “our particular normal,” and the next moment, we feel like we’ve been rocketed into outer space – into an unfamiliar place with unknown territories that we will be forced to explore!

Be the Face of Mercy

     “Let this be the pattern for all men when they practice mercy: show mercy to others in the same way, with the same generosity, with the same promptness, as you want others to show mercy to you.” St. Peter Chrysologus


     We desire and expect, when we offend someone, that they excuse and shrug off our offense,  if not immediately, at least within a reasonable time: maybe we were under stress, in a bad mood, distracted, tired, not feeling well, just not thinking, or many other excuses that we graciously permit   ourselves.

God Sees

     “In His hidden life, Jesus wished to descend to the most common things of human existence, to the daily life of a manual worker who supports a family. And so we see Him during almost the whole of His life working day after day, caring for His tools in the small workshop, dealing simply and in a friendly way with the neighbors who came to ask Him to make a table for them or a rafter for a new house, caring for His Mother with great affection. This is how He fulfilled the will of His Father God during those thirty years. When we look at His life, we learn to sanctify our own work, our family, our friendships. Everything that is truly human can be holy, can be a channel for our love of God, because our Lord on assuming our human nature, sanctified it.” Frances Fernandez



     In the day to day living out of our lives, being a Christian makes the way we live our lives radically different from unbelievers. It gives our lives and actions, purpose and value. By fulfilling the duties of our vocation, we grow in grace and holiness. When we offer our day to God, it becomes our gift to Him. It gives us Someone to keep our focus on, as we move throughout our day.

The Assumption of Mary

Oh, my Dear Sweet Glorious Mother

You who were not God

Followed His will so completely and generously

As no human had done before and none since.

You who were so wrapped up in God

And not in self

Became eucharist and gave all

So that He who was All

Could become Eucharist for us.

You surrendered yourself to God

So He in turn

Could surrender Himself to us.

You gave us your Son and we killed Him….

And still you stood by us

Giving birth to us to new life.

Help me my Mother!

Help me to let go of self as you did.

Help me to surrender my will

So I may resemble you and your Son Jesus.

Help me not to fear the dying I must do

In order to live fully in Christ.

As you imitated Father, Son and Spirit in their self giving

Help me to do the same

In all the big and small ways that come into my daily life.

Help me to abandon myself

And become so wrapped up in God as you were

That I, like you, forget myself.

O Sweet Mother of Humility

God could not resist sweeping you up to heaven to Himself

To be the Bride

Pure and spotless and radiant in beauty

The perfect honor of our race.

Help me, your daughter,

To resemble, even slightly, the Mother,

So that God cannot resist me also.

Mary, Queen of Heaven,

Pray for me!

Ascend to Him

     Our hearts were healed by His presence. Jesus had risen from the dead as He had promised and He appeared to us a number of times. He opened Scripture to us and we began to understand that this – His story – had all been foretold by the prophets. He had not abandoned us – His love was true. Jesus was the Promised Messiah!

Open the Door

     “On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” (Jn. 20 vs. 19-23).


     Filled with fear for their lives, the disciples hid, locked away. Most of them had been in hiding since the horrible events of Thursday evening had taken place, while others joined them later. Their Master had been betrayed, scourged and crucified. Most of them felt ashamed of the way they acted during Christ’s passion. They were confused, perplexed and heavy hearted.

Get Connected

     “We need to admit humbly that we are poor creatures, with confused ideas . . . We are fragile and in constant need of interior strength and consolation. Prayer gives us strength for great ideals, for keeping up our faith, charity, purity, generosity; prayer gives us strength to rise up from indifference and guilt, if we have had the misfortune to give in to temptation and weakness. Prayer gives us light by which to see and to judge from God’s perspective and from eternity. That is why you must not give up praying! Don’t let a day go by without praying a little! Prayer is a duty, but it is also a joy, because it is a dialogue with God through Jesus Christ.”                             St. John Paul ll



     Prayer is power! Prayer is powerful! Prayer is the great privilege where we get to “connect” with our God! To think that God, the almighty, is so readily available to listen to us is truly mind boggling! Yet, minutes, hours, and days go by, when we fail to remember Him. We forget we are His children, who are madly loved by Him: that He is our Father who longs to hear from us.

Poison for the Soul

     “The recollection of an injury is a rusty arrow and poison for the soul.”                                       St. Francis of Paola


     How the Evil One relishes in his ability to engage our memory by recalling a hurt or injury that was afflicted upon us. He will tempt us time and time again, to play it over and over in our minds, until it is once again festering and the pain is acute.

The Father's Embrace

     “While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to His son, embraced him and kissed him.” Lk. 15 vs. 21


     Christ came to reveal to us the heart of His Father and the great love the Father has for us. The parable of the prodigal son shouts of the love and mercy our God has for each one of us, His children. Papa’s love for us is so deep that when we leave His side, He is constantly looking for us while He waits for our return. And if He happens to catch sight of us, He is off and running to kiss us, and hold us close to His heart once again.

A Promise Of Hope

     “Only by praying together with their children can a father and mother -- exercising their royal priesthood*—penetrate the innermost depths of their children’s hearts and leave an impression that the future events in their lives will not be able to efface.”                                                        St. John Paul ll



     What comforting words St. John Paul ll offers to those of us who are parents! His words hold a promise, that if we have been faithful to “exercising our royal priesthood,” by praying with our children, something will take root. A promise, that despite the pull of “the world”, with all its alluring enticements, our efforts will not be eradicated.