God's Will: A Treasure Unearthed

      “Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write. Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to ‘give away’ on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.”                                                                                                                                                            Henri Nouwen

    For some time, I have avoided the urge to write. I did not feel as though I’d be “gradually coming in touch with my riches.” 

     It is true that in writing, we do discover what lives in us. There are times when admitting to “that life within,” is not something we want to reveal to ourselves, let alone to others.

     But the call to write and mine the findings became stronger than my reluctance. I had to be true to my calling from God and begin the journey.

A Time to. . .

     It’s been over four months since I’ve posted anything!

     That wasn’t exactly my plan, and to be quite honest with you, I really don’t know what is happening with Avia Joy.

     She was quite a surprise, no, a shock to me, when God placed her on my mind and heart, five years ago. I didn’t know what a blog was, let alone how to create and operate one. But I trusted God and took one step at a time, and she flourished and grew, and so did I.

     Avia Joy was born at a time in my life, when a door was slammed shut suddenly and unexpectedly! My heart felt crushed by the betrayal I was experiencing. God breathed new life into my heart, when it felt as if it were broken. God used the situation to show me that He would never forget or forsake me, but would use the situation for my good. . . and He did. He sent people into my life that would assist me in giving birth and life to Avia Joy.

     My experience taught me how to wait on the Lord and His timing, for the inspiration to write what my audience, His children, needed to hear.

     It also taught me how to let go of control, something that I still struggle to do, when God is telling me, not yet, not now, the answer is no, and, will you trust Me?

     Avia Joy has ministered to me and taught me so very much on my journey with God. It is my hope and prayer that she had helped you grow to love and trust God in a richer and fuller way.

     I am not sure if this is the end of Avia Joy or not. In my heart, I don’t want it to end. . . Not Now… Not Yet. As scripture tells us: “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heaven. A time to give birth, and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot the plant” (Ecc 3:1-2.

     It is uncertain to me, at this time, whether or not I will be posting again. I will remain open to continuing, if it is God’s will for me at this time in my life. He has been keeping me so very busy, and blogging has not been part of the busyness. As time unfolds, it will become evident just want the good Lord is asking of me.

     Until then, let us keep one another in prayer, that we will always accept and recognize the path that God has marked out for us. Although it is not always the road we’d choose ourselves, we must remember, because it is our Papa’s will for us, is it always the path that will lead us to eternal life.

     “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope” (Jer 29: 11).

    

The Rocky, Bumpy Road to Bethlehem

     “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with the worries of this life.”   
                                                                                                          Luke 21:34


     Thanksgiving was behind me.

     Advent was quickly approaching.

     My prayer: My God, on what do You want me to focus in order for my heart and mind to be ready for Jesus on Christmas morning?

     You may not realize it, but I like to have a plan and not waste any time, whipping myself into spiritual shape. God knew what He was doing in not having me born during the times of hair shirts and self-flagellation!

     Each time I brought this thought to prayer, I got the sense that God wanted me to work on becoming gentler and more patient ABOUT myself. “That’s a novel thought. Doesn’t sound too difficult! Maybe it’s not from God… I’ll keep asking.”

     But the answer did not change. It remained the same: be gentler with yourself and more patient. “Hmm. I guess this IS what He wants.”

     As I thought and prayed about God’s answer, it became clear that the past twenty-two months have been pretty intense. Truth be told, as I pondered more fully, it became evident that I have not given myself a break! When my different faults and foibles were revealed to me in either prayer, or in life situations, I was sent into a panic! It was all up to me to change, and to do it quickly! I went to work, doing I what I could to remedy my behavior. I expected far too much from myself and wanted to eradicate the imperfections that I saw right then and there. I searched for books to help, spent time in prayer and talked to family members and friends. I also spent time before Our Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, hoping He would heal me of all my brokenness. I wanted to fix it, take control of the situation and become that woman God has called me to be from all eternity, without any more delay!

     To my surprise, this is not the route God is purposing. God is calling me to slow down. Take a deep breath and accept both His help, as well as His timing. He is calling me to stop the frantic pace of having to be perfect. Perfection was not His idea, but mine. Ugh!

     Why was I trying so hard? After all, intellectually, I knew I was far from perfect, but when all of my imperfections were revealed to me, my reaction said otherwise. I didn’t want to take the slow, sometimes painful, long road and journey to change. I wanted to be on the fast track and just arrive. Well, maybe not just arrive. I was willing to do the hard work that was involved, but I wanted it to be over in a timely fashion.

     Unbeknown to me, I had let my heart get weighed down with the worries of my life, trying to fix myself. I am not the Potter, He is!

     God has impressed on my heart that becoming THAT woman, will take a lifetime and possibly, some time in purgatory as well! It will take my cooperation, but is His work and timeline. I still need to be alert to His promptings and grace, and open myself to His design.

     This will still involve prayer, receiving the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Penance, time before the Blessed Sacrament, asking for His healing for my own woundedness, spiritual reading, as well as speaking with family and friends about cares and concerns, as they present themselves. I will still try to practice all the lessons He has taught me these past number of months and stay His course. But my attitude with my effort will be quite different. I will stop trying so hard, believing it is ALL UP TO ME! I will also have to remind myself that I do not have the timeline by which it HAS to happen! Only the good Lord knows when He will be calling me home.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    As Advent begins, please join me on a journey. I am traveling with Mary and Joseph. Mary is very pregnant with my sweet Jesus, so I cannot be in a hurry. I must go at their pace and not my own.

     I will spend time speaking with St. Joseph, seeking the wisdom of his good counsel and direction. I will turn to him when I’m unsure of which direction to take. With his gifts, wisdom and manly care, the Holy Family arrived at their destination. He will help me to do the same.

     When I’m feeling weary of the journey, I will climb up on the donkey with Mary, and wrap my arms around Her. I’ll allow myself to be comforted by Her words, as well as The Word, safe within Her womb. I’ll speak to Her, heart to Heart, as one does to such a precious Mother. I’ll let Her nurture me with Her presence, as well as the presence of Her Son.

     This Advent, and hopefully beyond, I will allow myself the luxury, of slowing down and being gentler and patient with myself. I will breath in God’s love and acceptance of Whose I am, receiving it, so I can become who He sees when He looks so lovingly at me.

     I will try my best not to allow my heart to be weighed down by the worries and burdens of life, and instead, make room for Jesus to reside there.

     “May the God of peace Himself make you perfectly holy and my you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will also accomplish it” (2 Thes:23-24).
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Become a Saint

     “Although we have formed good resolutions in our mind, we always feel handicapped by the weakness of sustained effort, which rebels against the weariness of sustained effort, and seeks to free itself from it, or at least to reduce it to a minimum. Our bodies are subject to fatigue; our minds are disturbed by emotions which are always fluctuating. That which at one moment fills us with enthusiasm may, at the next, become distasteful and annoying to such a point that we think we can no longer endure it. This is our state while on earth and no one can escape it. However, God calls us all to sanctity, and since sanctity requires a continual practice of virtue, He, who never ask the impossible, has provided a remedy for the instability of our nature by giving us the virtue of perseverance, the special object of which is the sustaining of our efforts. Though fickle by nature, we can by the help of grace become steadfast.”                                                                             Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.


     Holiness does not come easily. It is an impossible task to carry out on our own. We often forget our weaknesses and become discouraged when we fail. We think we should be able to accomplish the resolutions we’ve made, and when we don’t, we beat ourselves up. Our pride blinds us, making us believe we should be able to do it with our own strength. We had been doing so well. What happened? We really thought we had finally overcome our weakness, but then the fall!

     “Whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall” (1Cor 10 vs 12).

There's No Place Like Home

     “What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Cor 2 vs 9).


     As we journey through life, we sometimes forget our eternal destiny. To make the most of our lives, we keep busy trying to fit in all that we can – unfocused on what truly matters.

Thy Will Be Done - Part 2

     After the preliminary questions, Jonathan was taken back to the examining room. I pulled out my rosaries and began to pray, one mystery after the other, as the medical team went about trying to determine just what was wrong. I also sent out an SOS to all of my prayer warriors to begin to storm heaven!

It's about my journey with Them

       I have journeyed for a little more than six decades with the Blessed Three, and although I know I am now living in the "autumn" of my life, I still feel a youthfulness within my being. I believe it is Their Life within me bursting forth, bringing about a freshness and newness that otherwise would be absent. They have found a home within my heart, and I humbly cherish Their Presence.

     My journey has a destination, and that destination is, hopefully, heaven. This has been an awareness that I've had all of my life, though at times, my decisions did not reflect that fact. But my God is a patient and loving God, and like a GPS, has redirected me when I have wandered off course.