From Light to Darkness

     “He came to His own, and His own received Him not.” John 1: 11

     I was suffering! Suffering for Our Lord and suffering for myself, or so I thought!

A Hellish Storm

      “He got into a boat and His disciples followed Him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but He was asleep.”   Matthew 8:23-24

     Although it had been hot, it was a beautiful day! The sky was a lovely color of blue: much like our Lady’s mantle.

     It was after dinner and my husband, and I began to pray our daily rosary. As we sat on our sectional, looking out at the beautiful evening sky, quite suddenly and unexpectedly, a huge dark black cloud began to appear from the west. It was moving very quickly, and the stunning blue sky was being devoured by the darkness that was overtaking it. The wind began to blow. In no time it became a violent wind, threatening everything that lay in its path. Torrents of rain fell from the heavens. Lightning lit up the darkness while thunder bellowed, making its presence known!

Our Sarah -- A Life Well Lived

     Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and Sarah continued to ‘hold court’ with all family members who visited. I had made my plane reservations and was counting the days, like a child waiting for Christmas, till my visit December 10th to the 15th. 

     Praise be to God; Sarah was really good and enjoyed everyone’s presence so much that it seemed to lend to her wellbeing. Her joy was then contagious to those around her.

With Gratitude

     “When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”                
                                                                                                       G. K. Chesterton


     Taking things for granted, is such an easy way to live.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

     I don’t often pray for fair weather, but in this situation, I felt as though I should.

     We had planned an “end of summer BBQ” and had chosen the day which would work best for us to host.

     Several days before the event, while heading into the chapel, I received a text from one of the guests: Would you consider changing the date because the weather was not going to be nice on Sunday? Monday was going to be sunny and hot. The children would enjoy themselves much more if they could go swimming in the nicer weather.

Saint Peter and I

     “Peter is the supreme example of the Gospel warning: …whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall “(1Cor 10:12).   
                                                          Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen  

              
     I feel discouraged and disheartened right now, as I think about the high hopes I had for my spiritual growth this Lenten season. It’s already Holy Week, and I am still struggling with the same issues that plagued me on Ash Wednesday!

You Are Mine

     It was late in the afternoon, my last day of retreat, when I decided to continue the tradition my sister Rachel and I had begun years ago. Our routine included a change of clothing – dressing up in something special -- which was symbolic of the change that had occurred spiritually within.

     Our tradition was also, our way of making the last evening special; a way to thank God for all the graces and insights with which we had been showered; a time to breathe in God’s love and bask in the still and quiet of the retreat house, one last evening.

The Fixer

     “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.”  
                                                                                                                Hebrews 11: 1


     I have been struggling lately with issues of control.

     From the time I was a little girl, because of situations which I could not control, I became “The Fixer.” Now, I’m not sure if anyone else saw me as such, but it was my way of coping or dealing with difficult situations. It was an identity that I saw as useful and helpful and clung to it tightly, believing it to be a “good thing.”

The Light of Our Lives

     “Faith ought to be the light which envelops not only our moments of prayer but our whole life as well. In prayer we say, ‘I believe in God, the Father almighty’; but a few minutes afterwards, in the face of some difficult task, a tiresome person, or something which upsets our plans, we forget that these have all been willed and planned by God for our good. We forget that God is our Father, and therefore is more concerned about our welfare than we are ourselves. We forget that God is all-powerful and can help us in every difficulty. In losing sight of the light of faith, which makes us see everything as dependent upon God and ordered by Him for our good, we lose ourselves in merely human considerations and protests, as if God had nothing to do with our life or had very little place in it. We give way to discouragement as though we had no faith. Yes, we believe in God, the Father Almighty, but we do not believe to the point of seeing His will, or at least His permission, in every circumstance. And yet, until faith becomes such a factor in our life that it makes us see all in relation to God, and as dependent upon Him, we will not be able to say that the light of faith is the guide of our life. It is, of course, but only partially. How often this true light, which participates in the very light of God, remains hidden under the bushel of a mentality which is still too human, too earthly!                                                                                                                                                                                                            Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, OCD

     As I sat in Church that quiet summer afternoon, I felt weary! I had just experienced a very busy week that had exhausted me both physically and emotionally – and it wasn’t over yet – I still had many things to do and places to go. With my tank on empty, I realized I needed to be in the Eucharistic Presence of God and allow myself to be filled with Jesus and His love.

     When I am in a place of emptiness, I have found that writing a letter to God is helpful. I sat there with my pen and paper in hand and poured out my heart to my dear sweet Jesus. I wrote about everything and everyone that I was carrying. I was burdened and needed to hand it all over to Him. I knew He wouldn’t mind. He Himself told us, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up My yoke and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart: and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Mt 11: 28-30).

     When I finished the written part of my prayer, I began to verbalize, in my mind, what was troubling my heart. “Lord, give me faith the size of a mustard seed. Mine must be smaller than that because You tell us that if our faith was the size of a mustard seed, we could move a mountain. Right now I can’t seem to be able to move anything. Strengthen my faith. You know Jesus, I do believe. Help my unbelief!”

     With that prayer uttered, the flood gates opened. As my tears flowed, like a little child, I wanted to be with my Papa. I imaged myself running to Him, climbing on His lap. He opened His arms to me and held me close. Tears streamed down my face as some disappointing memories of life paraded before my mind. As each memory presented itself, I asked, “Why, Papa? Why?” The tears continued, as did the memories, as I sat face to face with life’s difficult mysteries. I didn’t understand why all of these hardships had occurred, or why my life was still “permeated” by some. I knew in my head that I may never understand the “whys” while I live here on earth, but that day, I had the courage to at least ask God the questions.

     Although I did not get an answer, a feeling of peace enveloped me. As I opened myself to God’s peace, from the depths of my heart a plea arose, my God, what do You want me to learn from all of this? What are You trying to teach me!

     As I sat in His stillness, I realized a truth I must never forget: God is my Papa! He cares about me like no one else. He only wants what is good for me and when things get difficult, He is there with me to guide me and fill me with His graces. Because of the stain of original sin, I sometimes make wrong choices. At times, to my detriment, my woundedness and my longing to be loved, blinds me to do far too much for others. It is my unconscious belief that my actions will repair damage that’s been inflicted. It hasn’t worked. I cannot “fix” what is broken. I must leave that to God and be patient and cooperate with His grace. My faith must be increased. Faith is KNOWNING that God KNOWS: believing that He really KNOWS what is happening and can handle things. I need to trust and allow the light of my faith to enable me to see things from this vantage point. God IS ALMIGHTY and brings about good from evil. Look at the crucifixion! It was followed by the resurrection. I need to be humble and trust God, embracing my place as the child of His heart.

     It so easy at times to forget that I am a sojourner and a wayfarer on this journey of life: heaven is my destination. I must grow in grace and virtue, as I navigate towards sanctification. At times, I must learn to walk in darkness, trusting the One who is mapping out my route. I must learn to listen to His promptings on the way and respond fully to them. He will not leave me to travel alone, but will accompany me every step of the way – whether I’m aware of Him or not.

     I pray one day that like Elizabeth of the Trinity, I may be able to proclaim: “Everthing that happens is a message to me of God’s great love for my soul.”

     Till then I pray: O my dear sweet God! I don’t want to hide the light of my faith under a bushel basket. I want it to shine and guide my whole life. I want to KNOW that You KNOW what is happening each moment and that I am totally dependent upon You for everything. Send me the Comforter – Your Holy Spirit – to reassure me on my journey and guide me. May He fill me with Your gifts, fruits and virtues, so I may not give in to discouragement. Help me to accept that all that happens is for my sanctity. Increase my faith.

     I believe Lord. Help my unbelief.

    

    

    

     

    

Become Whole-Hearted

     “An obvious sign of attachments is also your sadness in situations when God takes something away from you. He will, therefore, take that by which you are enslaved – hence everthing that is your greatest enemy, that which causes your heart not to be free for Him. It is when you start to accept this and do it cheerfully that you will become more and more free.
     During prayer in the presence of the Lord, show Him not only your empty but also dirty hands, defiled by the attachments to mammon, and pray that He will have mercy on you. Prayer can develop only in the atmosphere of freedom. As a disciple of Christ, you are called to prayer; and that is to contemplative prayer. For your prayer to become contemplation – that is, a loving gaze on Jesus Christ, your beloved – a free heart is essential. That is why Christ fights so much for your heart to be free. He fights through various events, through difficulties and storms, by putting you in difficult situations, all the while giving you a chance to cooperate intensively with grace. In all these situations, Christ expects that you will try to cleanse your heart, soiled by attachments and servitude to mammon. In this way, all these difficulties and all the storms are a grace for you. They are the passing by of the Merciful Lord, who loves you so much that He wants to give you this magnificent fight – the gift of total freedom of your heart. Your heart should not be divided, it should be a heart solely for Him.                                                                                                                                               To have faith means to see and understand your life’s sense in accordance with the Gospel – God is most important. Your life is to be aimed at Him: to seek and build primarily His kingdom believing that everything else will be given to you (Mt 6:33). God wants to bestow on each person all His love. However, He can gift a person only to the extent of his openness, of his readiness to be stripped of attachments, so that room may be made for Him. It is faith that creates in us this emptiness and vacuum for God.                                                                                                                                         Father Tadeusz Dajczer



     God wants your heart – your whole heart. He also wants you to be free, to love Him as you should. Jesus became man, suffered and died in order to give you this gift of freedom. Walk in that grace, realizing that it was bought with the blood of Christ.

Explore the Treasures - Part 5

     In this, the last segment of our series, we will look at how we should prepare ourselves to receive Our Lord in Holy Communion and after receiving Jesus, how we should treat so great a Guest.

     On the night before He died, Jesus gave Himself to us in the Eucharist. He wanted to be united with us in Holy Communion. The fact that our good God humbles Himself to become our food is almost beyond belief. His love for us is unfathomable! We must return love for love, and do our best to prepare our hearts and souls to receive Jesus.

Explore the Treasures -- Part 2

     In the second installment of our series, we will explore the Sacrament of Baptism.

     Having our children Baptized is the one of the greatest gifts we can give to them. Because of the sin of our first parents, Adam and Eve, every human person is born with the stain of original sin on their soul. Yes, even that sweet little infant who has stolen your heart! It is a great privilege, as well as a grave responsibility, as parents to have our children baptized. Baptism erases original sin by imparting the life of Christ’s grace.

Christ Visible

     “If we approach with faith, we too will see Jesus . . . for the Eucharistic table takes the place of the crib. Here the Body of the Lord is present, wrapped not in swaddling clothes but in the rays of the Holy Spirit.”                                                            St. John Chrysostom


     During the Christmas holidays, our churches look so beautiful with lighted trees, rich altar tapestries, and of course, the stable where baby Jesus lies in the manger. As we sing, “O come let us adore Him,” I am sure many of us would have loved to have been present to experience the birth of Our Lord long ago. If, by some great miracle, God was humanly present in our churches, on a particular day at a particular time, I feel certain we would do whatever was necessary to be there – just to gaze upon our sweet little Jesus.

Happy Birthday Avia Joy!

     Avia Joy* is a year old! It was with fear and trepidation that I said yes to God when He proposed that she would be conceived and brought to life. Having had Papa’s frequent assurance that He would be with me to assist with Avia Joy, I stepped out in faith. He has been true to His word, although it took some time for me to believe it.

     While still pregnant with her, a decision was made to always have a reserve of nine posts. I wanted to be ahead of the game. I had also decided that I would publish three posts a week, never doubting that it could be accomplished. I would have my reserve. I could make it work!

The Flame of Love

   “I place this new instrument in your hands. Take this flame. You are the first to whom I entrust it. It is the Flame of Love of my Heart. First, light your own heart and then, pass it on to others. With this flame you will light all hearts in the world. The miracle will be this. This flame will become a fire, and with its shining light, this fire will blind Satan.” Our Blessed Mother to Elizabeth Kindelmann


     Elizabeth Kindelmann lived in Budapest, Hungary, under Communistic rule. She was a lifelong Catholic and a Third Order Carmelite.She had a difficult life from childhood, having been orphaned by the time she was five. Married at sixteen and widowed by the age of thirty two, she struggled tirelessly to support her family. Burdened by family cares, her relationship with God suffered.
Although she still attended Mass, it was with great effort. For three years Elizabeth experienced the dark night* and was tormented by the devil. On July 16, 1961, the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, after receiving the Sacrament of Penance, Elizabeth prostrated herself before a statue of the Blessed Virgin. Although she was not filled with peace, Elizabeth felt as if she had left her wounded soul at Carmel. The following day she begged and prayed, “Dear heavenly Mother, I do not want to be ever unfaithful to you. Do not abandon me, hold me tight. I do not trust myself. My steps are so unsteady.”

Make Crooked Ways Straight

     “I will lead the blind on their journey; by paths unknown I will guide them. I will turn darkness into light before them, and make crooked ways straight. These things I do for them, and I will not forsake them” (Isaiah 42 vs. 16).



     We all have loved ones who are not currently practicing their faith. The reasons vary from person to person: some out of ignorance, not realizing the gifts and treasures of their faith; some stemming from hurts and disappointments for which God is blamed; others are indifferent and don’t see the importance of a relationship with God; still others have stopped believing in God and look at their childhood faith as a myth, likened to believing in Santa.

Faithful Souls

     “The life of faith is nothing less than the continued pursuit of God through all that disguises, destroys and, so to say, annihilates Him. It is in very truth a reproduction of the life of Mary who, from the Stable to the Cross, remained unalterably united to that God whom all the world misunderstood, abandoned, and persecuted. In like manner faithful souls endure a constant succession of trials. God hides beneath veils of darkness and illusive appearance which make His will difficult to recognize; but in spite of every obstacle these souls follow Him and love Him even to the death of the Cross.”                                                                                                                                                                        Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade


     Pursuing God, when hardships and tragedies strike our lives, would be impossible without the tremendous amount of grace that God lavishes upon us. While we might feel anger or blame God for our circumstance, He is readily available to help. How tragic it is, that we often abandon Him in our greatest time of need. We see Him as the cause, and not the Curator of the situation. He is the God of love, yet stays silent, even if we shake our fist at Him.

Vanquish Fear

     “Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life. Rather, look to them full of hope as they arise. God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms. Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you then, and every day. He will either shield you from suffering, or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.”                                                                                                                                                                                                   St. Francis de Sales


     As this year is winding down and a new year is about to unfold, it is good for us to turn to St. Francis de Sales and his excellent words of wisdom.

Shake Off the Shackles of Discontent

     “When you sit down to eat, pray. When you eat bread, do so thanking Him for being so generous to you. If you drink wine, be mindful of Him who has given it to you for your pleasure and as a relief in sickness. When you dress, thank Him for His kindness in providing you with clothes. When you look at the sky and the beauty of the stars, throw yourself at God’s feet and adore Him who in His wisdom has arranged things in this way. Similarly, when the sun goes down and when it rises, when you are asleep or awake, give thanks to God, who created and arranged all things for your benefit, to have you know, love and praise their Creator.” St. Basil the Great



     Working on having a heart full of gratitude toward God, can sometimes be a challenge! We are a society who often sees the glass “half empty,” instead of thanking God that it had something in it in the first place. We look to see who has more than we do and instead, feel discontented with what we have been truly blessed. Our culture espouses that whoever has more is the happiest and most fulfilled. Possessions are looked at as treasures, and we are encouraged to do our best to accumulate them, sometimes at the cost of relationships; even our relationship with God.

A Promise Of Hope

     “Only by praying together with their children can a father and mother -- exercising their royal priesthood*—penetrate the innermost depths of their children’s hearts and leave an impression that the future events in their lives will not be able to efface.”                                                        St. John Paul ll



     What comforting words St. John Paul ll offers to those of us who are parents! His words hold a promise, that if we have been faithful to “exercising our royal priesthood,” by praying with our children, something will take root. A promise, that despite the pull of “the world”, with all its alluring enticements, our efforts will not be eradicated.