Unmet Expectations

     Expectations – We all have them! We often don’t even realize their power over us until they go unmet. Then suddenly they become big and fierce and overwhelming. They knock us to our knees and distort our vision. We begin to look at the world through the lens of our great disappointment and loose our joy!

     Expectations vary: being married, having children, good health both for you and your loved ones, family unity, no drug or alcohol addictions, no financial problems, good and faithful friends, happy marriage, good children, family members practicing their faith, successful careers, vacations, down time, not too much stress, being loved, feeling appreciated, and so on.

     We have expectations of people: how they should act, what they should or shouldn’t say, the level of involvement they should have in our lives, how they should think about matters we see as important, and the like.

          And then we have expectations for specific occasions: good weather, good attendance, everything going smoothly, good health, low stress and a lovely time.

     And lastly, but of vital importance, we have expectations even of God: if He really loved me, my life would be easier, bad things wouldn’t happen, and all would be well!

     Truth be told, our expectations are often unrealistic. We want life to unfold as we imagine it should. When it doesn’t, we feel crushed. We expect others to be and act as we do. When they don’t, we do not understand and don’t even give them room to explain. Our minds are made up. They fell short. Why did we expect more from them? Why did we expect more from God?

     Believing that life should turn out as we would like is ludicrous! We are not in heaven. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. We are not perfect, nor is anyone else. We will be disappointed and will disappoint others. We need to come to grips with the idea that this life is passing. We will have happy moments here, but they will be fleeting. Our goal is heaven where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. Behold, I make all things new” (Rv 21:4-5).

     Heaven is God’s promise to us. It gives us something to look toward when life is difficult and challenging – when our expectations are dashed and we are tempted to allow the evil one to rob us of our joy. We must not give him the power over us and our emotions. We need to remember that if Papa has allowed this particular situation, it must somehow be for our eternal good. We have to look at the whole picture and not just the part that is, in our eyes, out of line with our vision of how life should be. We have to remember that we are a work in progress and if we place our trust in God, these difficult times can make us into saints.

     The saints didn’t start out as saints. They were sinners just like us who just kept trying. Relying on the graces received from God and through His Sacraments, when life’s expectations were not met, they kept believing and trusting in God. They did not allow their disappointments to steer them from their goal of reaching holiness.

     What is another key to being able to trust and surrender to life’s happenings? Through grace you will believe in the goodness of God and trust in His tremendous love for you. Knowing that He will bring good from everything – even the really difficult stuff, is a gift! In our humanity, this is very hard for us to believe, but it’s God’s truth. The saints practiced this truth by thanking and praising God in all things.

     St. Teresa of Calcutta was known for saying, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job1:21). Her trust in God was total and complete. She lived in darkness, yet held fast to God and His goodness.

     Jesus told St. Faustina that when she did not trust Him, it wounded Him deeply. She too was to praise and thank God for everything.

     We can’t forget St. Therese, who wrote in her biography, “Jesus does not demand great actions from us but, simply surrender and gratitude. Has He not said: ‘Offer to God the sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving?” (Ps 49:14).

     Giving thanks and praise to God in ALL THINGS is a tall order! It takes a heroic amount of grace to even entertain the idea of beginning this practice. Yet, I’m weary and tired of allowing the joy that the Lord wants to give me to be stolen. I want to correct my vision and look at life’s situations through the eyes of my heavenly Father. I want to let go of expectations and learn to trust, especially when everything tells me not to. I want to praise and thank God because it will give Him joy! It will show Him just how much I love Him and trust in His great love for me. It won’t be easy, but with the help of God and His great communion of saints, it is possible.

     “Joy isn’t found in the material objects surrounding us, but in the inner recesses of the soul. One can possess joy in a prison cell as well as in a palace (St. Therese).

     Deepen your trust in God. Let go of unmet expectations. Stop the thief in his tracks. Don’t allow him to rob you of your joy. Praise and thank God instead!

     “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes:18).