Heroic Love and Sacrifice

      Spring was just around the corner, and we were quite ready to say goodbye to winter! Jonathan and I had booked our pilgrimage for the fall.  We also made arrangements to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in September with a Mass, where we would renew our vows, followed by a reception, for family and friends. We were very excited!

     My deepest wish was that my sister Sarah would live to be present at our celebration. She had just had a reaction from one of her treatments which meant that it would have to cease. We felt troubled because the cancer had responded well to it, but that door was now closed to her. She had felt so blessed to have had minimal side effects from her treatments and had little to no symptoms from the cancer since her diagnosis 3 years ago. She was still receiving radiation and if needed, she could have chemotherapy.

He IS Present -- Even in the Mess

     It was the first Sunday of Advent. I was ahead of schedule with Christmas preparations this year, so why was I feeling so burdened?

     I prayed for guidance.

No, No, Nervous Nellie!

     I’m not what you would call a “nervous Nelly.” In fact, most of the time, I am peace filled. I think it’s partly because of the disposition with which God blessed me, as well as my strong relationship with God and my dependence upon Him.

     That being said, there is an area in my life with which I struggle to hand over to God and find difficult not to want to FIX IT MYSELF!

Don't Stand God Up

     “Pray with your whole being even though you think it has no savor for you. For such prayer is very profitable even though you feel nothing, though you see nothing, even though it seems impossible to you. It is in dryness and barrenness, in sickness and feebleness that your prayer is most pleasing to Me, even though you think it has little savor for you.”                             God to St. Julian of Norwich


     Prayer to God is essential, if we want to grow in relationship with Him. It is the way we stay connected to Him and commune with God in love. It is an avenue of grace and love, where we can learn to grow past ourselves and focus on God. It is an opportunity to waste time, to keep God company, just because we love Him.

Our Rose Continues to Open

     “I am going to record what the Blessed Virgin told me in this year, 1962. I kept it inside for a long time without daring to write it down. It is a petition of the Blessed Virgin: ‘when you say the prayer that honors me, the Hail Mary, include this petition in the following manner: ‘Hail Mary full of grace. . . Pray for us sinners, spread the effect of grace of thy Flame of Love over all of humanity, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”                                                                                                                       Conversation between Elizabeth Kindelmann and Our Blessed Mother


     Elizabeth received this request from Our Lady in the early part of 1962. She brought the request to the bishop on February 2, and his response to Elizabeth was, “Why the very old Hail Mary should be recited differently?” It is not recorded in her diary what Elizabeth’s response to the bishop was, but she obviously must have spoken to Jesus about her conversation with the bishop. Our Lord reassured Elizabeth by saying: “It is exclusively thanks to the efficacious pleas of the Most Holy Virgin that the Most Holy Trinity granted the effusion of the Flame of Love. By it, ask in the prayer with which you greet My Most Holy Mother: ‘Spread the effect of grace of thy Flame of Love over all of humanity, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.’ So that, by its effect, humanity is converted.”

The Flame of Love

   “I place this new instrument in your hands. Take this flame. You are the first to whom I entrust it. It is the Flame of Love of my Heart. First, light your own heart and then, pass it on to others. With this flame you will light all hearts in the world. The miracle will be this. This flame will become a fire, and with its shining light, this fire will blind Satan.” Our Blessed Mother to Elizabeth Kindelmann


     Elizabeth Kindelmann lived in Budapest, Hungary, under Communistic rule. She was a lifelong Catholic and a Third Order Carmelite.She had a difficult life from childhood, having been orphaned by the time she was five. Married at sixteen and widowed by the age of thirty two, she struggled tirelessly to support her family. Burdened by family cares, her relationship with God suffered.
Although she still attended Mass, it was with great effort. For three years Elizabeth experienced the dark night* and was tormented by the devil. On July 16, 1961, the feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, after receiving the Sacrament of Penance, Elizabeth prostrated herself before a statue of the Blessed Virgin. Although she was not filled with peace, Elizabeth felt as if she had left her wounded soul at Carmel. The following day she begged and prayed, “Dear heavenly Mother, I do not want to be ever unfaithful to you. Do not abandon me, hold me tight. I do not trust myself. My steps are so unsteady.”

Shake Off the Shackles of Discontent

     “When you sit down to eat, pray. When you eat bread, do so thanking Him for being so generous to you. If you drink wine, be mindful of Him who has given it to you for your pleasure and as a relief in sickness. When you dress, thank Him for His kindness in providing you with clothes. When you look at the sky and the beauty of the stars, throw yourself at God’s feet and adore Him who in His wisdom has arranged things in this way. Similarly, when the sun goes down and when it rises, when you are asleep or awake, give thanks to God, who created and arranged all things for your benefit, to have you know, love and praise their Creator.” St. Basil the Great



     Working on having a heart full of gratitude toward God, can sometimes be a challenge! We are a society who often sees the glass “half empty,” instead of thanking God that it had something in it in the first place. We look to see who has more than we do and instead, feel discontented with what we have been truly blessed. Our culture espouses that whoever has more is the happiest and most fulfilled. Possessions are looked at as treasures, and we are encouraged to do our best to accumulate them, sometimes at the cost of relationships; even our relationship with God.

Resting In God

     “There is a state of resting in God, an absolute break from all intellectual activity, when one forms no plans, makes no decisions and for the first time really ceases to act, when one simply hands over the future to God’s will and ‘surrenders himself to fate.’” St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross



     We LONG to rest in God: To abandon ourselves completely and forever to His will. It is something we have been yearning for, but struggling to do for such a long time.

Who, Lord, Do You Say That I Am? -- Part 3

     I was back to my original question. Lord, who do You say that I am? If I’m not Your servant, than who am I? Like Jacob, I did a lot of wrestling with God. Through much pain, suffering, and letting go of the burdens I had placed upon myself, the answer finally did come. I was not just God’s servant, but He revealed to me that I am His Daughter, who happens to get to serve Him. He takes all my effort as a gift. He knows that the results of my efforts are not in my control. He reminded me that He is God and I am not. He wants me to trust Him with my children, because He loves them even more than I do. He helped me recall how He has been with me on my journey through life and that I did not always choose as He would have preferred, nevertheless, He was with me in spite of my choices. He has continued to guide and accompany me on my journey.

God's will be done

     Accepting all as God’s will is such a challenge!

     

     The good things that happen are certainly easy to accept and see God’s hand in them; then we thank and praise Him. It’s the difficult things that just seem to happen – the trials that purify our will and challenge us to trust when everything within us feels like rebelling or just giving up!