Spring was just around the corner, and we were quite ready to say goodbye to winter! Jonathan and I had booked our pilgrimage for the fall. We also made arrangements to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in September with a Mass, where we would renew our vows, followed by a reception, for family and friends. We were very excited!
My deepest wish was that my sister Sarah would live to be present at our celebration. She had just had a reaction from one of her treatments which meant that it would have to cease. We felt troubled because the cancer had responded well to it, but that door was now closed to her. She had felt so blessed to have had minimal side effects from her treatments and had little to no symptoms from the cancer since her diagnosis 3 years ago. She was still receiving radiation and if needed, she could have chemotherapy.
Sarah’s illness did not hold her down at all. She lived her life as if all was well: participating in family events, vacations, and parish activities, while bringing the light of Christ with her wherever she was.
Her attitude was that of gratitude to God for how well she did feel and for the fact that she was still here to praise Him. Her acceptance of what God allowed in her life was a light that shone to all who came in contact with her. And when a new cancer site was found, she took a deep breath, might have an ice cream dinner, and did whatever her medical team thought best for her.
Although Sarah was responding well to the radiation treatments she was receiving, the cancer continued to spread. You would not know it to look at her, and at times, that made it difficult to believe that the cancer was so invasive in her body.
We talked often, but sometimes you just need to be with someone! Summer was upon us, and I wanted to spend time with her…. quality time. Just the two of us where we could share our hearts, our thoughts, our hopes and our fears. We could laugh, pray, cry and just do whatever we wanted to do. We didn’t know how much time we would have together and wanted to take advantage of it while we had the opportunity.
As Providence would have it, there were several times coming up where Sarah’s husband was working out of state. He would be gone about 5 days and Sarah could not be left alone. I would look at the dates, talk to our sisters Rachel and Rebecca and see what we could work out. Maybe each of us could cover a time and we would each spend our own time alone with Sarah.
Family commitments did not allow Rachel to come for the duration of the time needed. It was decided: I would fly by myself, and Rachel would come several days later. We would then fly home together, after Sarah’s husband returned. Rebecca would come later in the month, to cover another shift that was needed. Although we felt disappointed that all the sisters could not visit together, it was most important that Sarah was not alone.
When I called Sarah to tell her of our plans, she was amazed! She knew that flying was not my thing. It was something I rarely did and had never flown anywhere by myself. She laughed and told me that she knew how very much I loved her if I were willing to do that to visit with her.
I became very excited about our upcoming visit. Sarah and I had not really had any alone time together since before we were both married. We had shared a room the first twenty years of my life, so this was truly a gift from God…. And with Rachel joining us a little later, it would make it even more special!
Our time together was precious! Although Sarah could not drive, she felt well enough for us to go to Mass each day, make a holy hour and enjoy ourselves. We drove one day to the airport to pick up our sister Rachel, which added to the joy. We knew how very blessed we were, to not only be sisters but best friends!
Sarah had testing while we were there, but we did not find out the results till we got back home. The news was not good. The cancer seemed determined to get the best of her, but she would still fight.
Chemo was now part of the plan. It was a very aggressive chemo to treat a very aggressive cancer. It really was the only option she had if she wanted to prolong her life. Sarah decided to do it.
Her first treatment was the end of August. She had a severe reaction to it and blamed the reaction to not having taken her medicine to lessen the side effects. Sarah’s birthday was coming up and she hoped to attend a weekend retreat. We all prayed very hard that she would feel good enough to go, and praised be to God, she did. It was a gift to both her and her friends who attended to her, and something they all cherished!
Her next treatment was just around the corner, in fact, it was the Monday before our wedding anniversary. I wanted her to be able to celebrate with us and asked her to delay her treatment. She responded that she would be fine this time. She would take her medicine at the right time to counteract the reaction. “Barring a hospitalization, I will be there,” she assured me.
The morning Sarah and her husband were getting ready to leave to come north, she began to have what they thought would be a passing side effect. After a very long drive, they arrived at Rachel’s house safely. As the celebration grew closer, Sarah’s reaction increased. She did her best to push on, but up to the morning of the celebration, it seemed unlikely she would be well enough to attend.
We had what seemed like, half the world praying, that God would lessen Sarah’s side effects and allow her to be present. But at this point, I was more concerned about her than I was with my wanting her there. I had to let it go and pray for what was best.
All praise and glory to God, Sarah took her medicine and began to have relief. We got a wheelchair for her since her breathing was labored. Her husband wheeled her into church. It was truly a miracle from God! She greeted everyone with that beautiful, welcoming smile. I hugged her and tears streamed down my face. She was here! Sarah was here!
Every part of our anniversary Mass was special. Our granddaughter played a song as Jonathan and I walked down the aisle. The music and singing were stunning. The readings and petitions were beautiful and read by our loved ones. Our Pastor’s homily was very special, filled with wisdom, joy and laughs. Jonathan and I renewed our vows. Our twelve grandchildren brought up a rose to us which we placed before our Lady, as we did on our wedding day. Our Mass was so memorable and engraved deep in our memories and hearts… and Sarah was part of it!
Mass was over and Sarah was still feeling good, so we were off to the restaurant. It was like a wedding reception with cocktails, appetizers, salad, dinner and dessert. We also had dancing, with a disk jockey to boot!
Sarah and her husband were at our head table, and a never-ending stream of people “visited” with her. Although Sarah had grown up here, she’d lived down south for more than thirty years. For many there that day, that was the last time they saw her, and for that, they expressed their gratitude for our celebration.
Jon and I danced to the song that we danced to at our reception, fifty years ago: Every day of my life, by Bobby Vinton. We surprised Sarah and her husband with a song dedicated to them: It had to be you. They had celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in August and we wanted it to be acknowledged. Although they were only able to dance the last minute or two, there was not a dry eye in the place.
The day more than exceeded my expectations! Our children, their spouses, our grandchildren, our siblings and other family members and dear friends, were all there to share with us in our big day. But I will never forget the great sacrifice and heroic love that Sarah displayed to us that day, when she overcame all odds and was there. It was a gift I will never forget and forever cherish!
All praise and glory to God! This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad!
A wonderful celebration of love all around, though bittersweet.!
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