The Rocky, Bumpy Road to Bethlehem

     “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with the worries of this life.”   
                                                                                                          Luke 21:34


     Thanksgiving was behind me.

     Advent was quickly approaching.

     My prayer: My God, on what do You want me to focus in order for my heart and mind to be ready for Jesus on Christmas morning?

     You may not realize it, but I like to have a plan and not waste any time, whipping myself into spiritual shape. God knew what He was doing in not having me born during the times of hair shirts and self-flagellation!

     Each time I brought this thought to prayer, I got the sense that God wanted me to work on becoming gentler and more patient ABOUT myself. “That’s a novel thought. Doesn’t sound too difficult! Maybe it’s not from God… I’ll keep asking.”

     But the answer did not change. It remained the same: be gentler with yourself and more patient. “Hmm. I guess this IS what He wants.”

     As I thought and prayed about God’s answer, it became clear that the past twenty-two months have been pretty intense. Truth be told, as I pondered more fully, it became evident that I have not given myself a break! When my different faults and foibles were revealed to me in either prayer, or in life situations, I was sent into a panic! It was all up to me to change, and to do it quickly! I went to work, doing I what I could to remedy my behavior. I expected far too much from myself and wanted to eradicate the imperfections that I saw right then and there. I searched for books to help, spent time in prayer and talked to family members and friends. I also spent time before Our Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, hoping He would heal me of all my brokenness. I wanted to fix it, take control of the situation and become that woman God has called me to be from all eternity, without any more delay!

     To my surprise, this is not the route God is purposing. God is calling me to slow down. Take a deep breath and accept both His help, as well as His timing. He is calling me to stop the frantic pace of having to be perfect. Perfection was not His idea, but mine. Ugh!

     Why was I trying so hard? After all, intellectually, I knew I was far from perfect, but when all of my imperfections were revealed to me, my reaction said otherwise. I didn’t want to take the slow, sometimes painful, long road and journey to change. I wanted to be on the fast track and just arrive. Well, maybe not just arrive. I was willing to do the hard work that was involved, but I wanted it to be over in a timely fashion.

     Unbeknown to me, I had let my heart get weighed down with the worries of my life, trying to fix myself. I am not the Potter, He is!

     God has impressed on my heart that becoming THAT woman, will take a lifetime and possibly, some time in purgatory as well! It will take my cooperation, but is His work and timeline. I still need to be alert to His promptings and grace, and open myself to His design.

     This will still involve prayer, receiving the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Penance, time before the Blessed Sacrament, asking for His healing for my own woundedness, spiritual reading, as well as speaking with family and friends about cares and concerns, as they present themselves. I will still try to practice all the lessons He has taught me these past number of months and stay His course. But my attitude with my effort will be quite different. I will stop trying so hard, believing it is ALL UP TO ME! I will also have to remind myself that I do not have the timeline by which it HAS to happen! Only the good Lord knows when He will be calling me home.

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    As Advent begins, please join me on a journey. I am traveling with Mary and Joseph. Mary is very pregnant with my sweet Jesus, so I cannot be in a hurry. I must go at their pace and not my own.

     I will spend time speaking with St. Joseph, seeking the wisdom of his good counsel and direction. I will turn to him when I’m unsure of which direction to take. With his gifts, wisdom and manly care, the Holy Family arrived at their destination. He will help me to do the same.

     When I’m feeling weary of the journey, I will climb up on the donkey with Mary, and wrap my arms around Her. I’ll allow myself to be comforted by Her words, as well as The Word, safe within Her womb. I’ll speak to Her, heart to Heart, as one does to such a precious Mother. I’ll let Her nurture me with Her presence, as well as the presence of Her Son.

     This Advent, and hopefully beyond, I will allow myself the luxury, of slowing down and being gentler and patient with myself. I will breath in God’s love and acceptance of Whose I am, receiving it, so I can become who He sees when He looks so lovingly at me.

     I will try my best not to allow my heart to be weighed down by the worries and burdens of life, and instead, make room for Jesus to reside there.

     “May the God of peace Himself make you perfectly holy and my you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will also accomplish it” (2 Thes:23-24).
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Power, Wisdom and Love

    “By our belief in the Holy Trinity we acknowledge in one single God, Power, Wisdom and Love, and these three are one. Now surely, I do see what an immense effect such a doctrine must have upon life.  It is no mere question for theologians, but one that concerns every living soul. Whatever is allowed by God’s power must be guided by His wisdom and urged on by His love. All that happens to me in life, the little worries and the great anxieties, the crisis and the daily annoyances, the sorrow and the joys, the harms that reach me through the sins of others, the great cries of history, the huge and devastating wars, the partings and loves and the whole cycle of human experiences are permitted by Power which is itself wise and loving. These three Persons determine my life, and since I walk by faith, I must surely grow very patient in my attitude through life. For how can I complain or criticize God’s Providence, since it comes under the triple influence of Power, Wisdom and Love? Under the guidance, then, of this mystery, I can walk through the valley of death or the more perilous borders of sin without loss of courage or hopelessness. Nothing can make me afraid. How these are separate, but one, I do not know, nor can I reconcile in my concrete experience the claims of each. It is always a mystery, but a mystery in which I believe. Whatever Power allows on earth is designed in Wisdom and attuned by Love.”           
                                                                                Father Bede Jarrett



     As I read and pondered the words of Father Jarrett, I shook my head in awe, wonder and gratitude for the wisdom he has bequeathed to us!

The Garden of Your Soul

     “Our first duty, therefore, precisely in order to heal this world, is to be holy, configured to God; in this way, we emanate a healing and transforming power that also acts in others, on history . . . In this regard, it is useful to reflect that the Twelve Apostles were not perfect men, chosen for their moral and religious irreproachability. They were indeed believers, full of enthusiasm and zeal but at the same time marked by their human limitations, which were sometimes even serious. Therefore, Jesus did not call them because they were already holy, complete, perfect, but so that they might become so, so that they might thereby also transform history, as it is for us, as it is for all Christians.”                                                                                                      Pope Benedict XVI


     As we look at the morals, values and shape of our world, we are tempted to entertain a feeling of hopelessness; to believe it has fallen too far and can never turn around for the good! Just when we think things can’t get any worse, they do!

     Where is God in all of this? What does He think of man, His beloved creation? Is His heart broken? Will God lose His patience with us and just let the end come? Is there anything we can do to help? Can we make a difference?

Master of the House

     “Commitment is doing what you said you would do after the feeling you said it in has passed.” St. Camillus



     For those wishing to grow in holiness, I would like to take this quote a little further. Commitment is doing what you know you should do even when, and especially when you don’t feel like it.

     There are times in our lives when doing what we’ve made a commitment to do or to do what we should be doing, is very, very difficult. Now I’m not talking about the times we are physically exhausted and we long for a break, but times of spiritual desolation.

Begin the Task Anew

     “Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”                             St. Frances de Sales



     Being patient with our imperfections is something most of us find difficult to do. Trying to see them as “useful” and “purposeful” for our salvation is not how they are normally perceived.

Mary's Gift

     From my youthful years this prayer has held an important place in my spiritual life. The Rosary has accompanied me in moments of joy and in moments of difficulty. To it I have entrusted any number of concerns: in it I have always found comfort.”                                                   Pope John Paul  II


     I remember, as a little girl, kneeling in our living room and praying the rosary with my family. It was not something we did with regularity, but when an urgent event presented itself. As I grew older, although my relationship with Our Lady was still very important to me, my devotion to the rosary dwindled to praying it at “viewings” for deceased loved ones.

Running With Complete Trust

     “Our present life is given only to gain the eternal one and if we don’t think about it, we build our affections on what belongs to this world, where our life is transitory. When we have to leave it we are afraid and become agitated. Believe me, to live happily in this pilgrimage, we have to aim at the hope of arriving at our Homeland, where we will stay eternally. Meanwhile we have to believe firmly that God calls us to Himself and follows us along the path towards Him. He will never permit anything to happen to us that is not for our greater good. He knows who we are and He will hold out his paternal hand to us during difficulties, so that nothing prevents us from running to Him swiftly. But to enjoy this grace we must have complete trust in Him.”                                                St. Padre Pio


     Keeping our eyes on our eternal destiny seems to be the theme that God is holding before us these days. We must look into our hearts to become aware of our attachments, so we can let go of them, and gently place them in the hands of our “Papa.” There He will take care of them for us. It is a difficult thing for us to do; because we are often tempted to possess who and what we love.