From Light to Darkness

     “He came to His own, and His own received Him not.” John 1: 11

     I was suffering! Suffering for Our Lord and suffering for myself, or so I thought!

     The Christmas season is a time for beautiful memories, children’s excitement, and precious Christmas pageants filled with hope.     

     It seemed as though the darkness in my heart was growing as each event and each day passed. I didn’t want to feel this way. I wanted to be filled with joy as Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus, drew near.         

      The Christmas pageants, along with the innocence of the children, in their adaptation of the birth of Christ, overwhelmed me with joy.  I drank in the excitement and love they displayed for Jesus, right there, before my eyes. I wanted it never to leave me. I wanted to focus on the happiness of the blessed season of Advent, the preparation of our hearts getting ready to welcome Christ, but I was struggling to hold onto the light. The darkness overcame the light in my heart; I was unaware that it was a temptation.

     As I spoke with others, it seemed they too were struggling in some way. It wasn’t just me…even though our struggles were different, it was becoming clear that the evil one was very busy. He hit believers in their most vulnerable spots. He and his minions were seeking to rob us of the love and joy that Christ brings to us, as we make ready to celebrate His coming once again.

     Instead of looking at the goodness all around me, I was tempted to focus on the lack. I was drawn to think about those who were not believing or practicing their faith anymore. I was drawn to look at all the commercialization of Christmas and the absence of Christ. I was looking at all God’s children who had left Him to follow the world with all its tinsels, bells and lights. I was letting the light in my heart become a faint flicker and up till this point, I believed I was joining in God’s sorrow for all those who had forgotten His Son, Jesus.

     But I was mistaken. As I pondered God’s word, it became clear to me that I had fallen prey to let go of hope. My focus had led me to focus on people and their efforts to move toward God or not…their love for Him or not…to make Him the priority He should be in their lives. 

     “For nothing will be impossible for God” Luke 1: 37.

     It suddenly became clear that I was putting my faith in people and not God. 

     “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen” Hebrews 11: 1.

     I could not see what I wanted to see and was tempted to believe that it would never happen. I prayed to God to strengthen my faith and redirect me, to place my hope in Him.

     My mind then went to the scripture reading of Christ’s genealogy, which was read several days ago. Situations were not perfect! The evangelists made that clear by not skirting around all the sinners God used to bring about the birth of His Son throughout the centuries. God is all powerful and can use everything in our lives, to achieve His end. 

    “For though the fig tree blossom not, nor fruit be on the vines, though the yield of the olive fail, and the terraces produce no nourishment, though the flocks disappear from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord and exult in my saving God” Habakkuk 3:17-18.

     Just because situations appear one way, does not mean that God is not working!

     I have to remember, as do you, that the situation in Bethlehem was far from perfect, yet Jesus came!

     He came into the world unwelcomed or unrecognized by most, but He came!

     He will come into our messy lives, with many situations not quite as we’d like them to be and shine His light and love upon us. 

     “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” John 1: 5.

     Let nothing that is not yet seen or hoped for in your life, extinguish the hope and love of Christ. We are still living in the “here and not yet” time. God’s Kingdom is present but not yet fulfilled. But the victory has already been won by Jesus, our Savior, and we must never allow what we do not see, rob us of what will be.

     “But to those who did accept Him He gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in His name, who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice nor by man’s decision but of God. And the Word became flesh, and made His dwelling among us, and we saw His glory, the glory of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth” John 1:12-14.

     “Advents’ intention is to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of a God who became a child. This is a healing memory; it brings hope” Pope Benedict IV.

     Hold on to faith. Hold on to hope. Hold on to the promise that God is faithful and allow His healing love to enfold you.

     The turmoil and suffering that I was experiencing is gone. It has been replaced with God’s light. The light of Christ is stronger than any darkness that tries to overtake us. We must hold fast to that truth.

     Come, Lord Jesus…Light of the world, light of our hearts!