Be A Pilgrim--Not A Tourist

       “The human heart plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps." Proverbs 16: 9

    It was almost 9 years ago, that I experienced my first group pilgrimage. Sometime before we left, we met as a group with the priest who would be leading us on our journey. I was very excited and couldn’t wait to hear all the details about our trip.

     The thing that I remember most was the fact that Father made it clear that we were going on a pilgrimage and not a trip. We were pilgrims and not tourists. He then proceeded to explain the difference. 

     A tourist expects everything to go smoothly and be perfect. A pilgrim expects challenges and sacrifices.  

     A tourist is expecting to travel to new places. A pilgrim is expecting to visit sacred places and commune with God.

     A tourist is busy making everything go as planned. A pilgrim is open to changes, with the realization that Someone else is really in charge.

     A tourist complains and goes to the source of the problem with the idea of ironing all the wrinkles out. A pilgrim asks God what it is He is trying to convey in this situation.

    There may have been more points that Father spoke about, but these are the ones which stuck with me. These ideas were something I embraced, wanting to make the most of the opportunity to grow closer to God, learn more about myself, and surrender to God in a new way. I was determined that I would be a pilgrim on a journey and not a tourist.

     I did my best to become a pilgrim on that first pilgrimage. I did not complain and embraced hardships. I even reminded fellow pilgrims that sacrifice was part of the experience and not to lose the graces therein. Thinking about it now makes me laugh. I’m sure I was annoying to some, but I tried to do it with a smile and an encouraging tone of voice.

     When I subsequently went on two other pilgrimages, I went with the mentality of a pilgrim. In fact, I felt as though I was a seasoned pilgrim and had learn a few things that I hadn’t realized on my rookie pilgrimage. This time I knew that I didn’t want to lose any of the lessons that God spoke to my heart. So, I journaled every day in order to mine the treasures when the pilgrimage was over.

     I felt that I was truly a pilgrim and believed I knew all there was to know about that identity. I had aced it! 

     God is sooo good and loves us sooo much that He won’t allow us to be filled with pride without bringing about a reality check.

     As I was thinking about my life the last year and a half, a thought occurred to me, “Why don’t I treat life as a pilgrimage? In fact, I’ve written a number of times about that. And if life truly is, why don’t I have the pilgrim mentality? Why do I expect everything to go smoothly and go just as I would like?” 

     That thought gave me pause and then continued to grow. I have found Papa doesn’t always give me too much at once, but spoon-feeds me, little by little, knowing I’m just His little one.

     The next thoughts that came to mind were two other pilgrimages that I had planned. 

     The first came to be, but was interrupted by my husband’s hospital stay in France and really ended before it began. 

     The second was planned as a “redo,” but ended up being cancelled because of ill health on my part.

     I never considered that these pilgrimages could be categorized as pilgrimages. We didn’t get to the places planned on the first, while the second never happened. 

     God was slowly pointing out to me how very wrong I was.

     I had taken pride on being a “seasoned” pilgrim, yet I had discarded these trips as failures. I could now see that the trips did not go as I had planned, but as God had allowed them. I wasn’t a pilgrim while experiencing these life situations. I scrapped the whole pilgrim identity because by missing the trips, I was no longer a pilgrim. My pilgrimages were over…

     The realization that all of life is a pilgrimage and that we are sojourners on our way to heaven struck me again hard! God will do what He can to assist us with His grace and inspirations to guide us on our journey. Papa wasn’t just trying to give me a lesson on traveling on a plane, train, bus or automobile, but on life…eternal life!

     Before Lent started, I began to ask God what He wanted from me? How was He calling me to change? 

     In the silence of my heart, I heard, “your will…your trust…your surrender.”

     Lent began a week early for me when I contracted the flu. I unfortunately became very sick and ended up in the E.R. for 5 or 6 hours. The illness really knocked me off my feet, and for the first time in my adult life I could not go to Mass for almost two weeks! I was not able to make my daily visits to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and spiritual reading and devotions just weren’t happening. 

     I had said yes to Papa when He asked for my will, trust and surrender. Initially, I hadn’t heard Him say, “your poverty as well.” He wanted me to realize that’s all I truly have.

     I am beginning to get my energy level back but have to make choices of what I’m able to do. I have taken my good health and energy for granted all these years. I am learning that is not something to expect, but to accept what comes, a day at a time.

     God is asking me to embrace that pilgrim mentality, of accepting whatever it is that He allows in my life. My journey to Him is the most important pilgrimage that I will ever make, and I have to trust Him with all the details. 

     I need to remember that I’m His little girl who can’t do very much but is loved just the same. I am going to do my best to become that pilgrim once again, throughout the rest of my life’s journey and embrace my poverty as the riches they are.

     I do not want to settle to be a tourist anymore but become a true pilgrim on my way to my Father’s home.

     “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end…Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You, does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust You always though I may seem lost in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to my perils alone.”                                                                                                                                    A Pilgrim’s Prayer by Thomas Merton