Unmet Expectations

     Expectations – We all have them! We often don’t even realize their power over us until they go unmet. Then suddenly they become big and fierce and overwhelming. They knock us to our knees and distort our vision. We begin to look at the world through the lens of our great disappointment and loose our joy!

     Expectations vary: being married, having children, good health both for you and your loved ones, family unity, no drug or alcohol addictions, no financial problems, good and faithful friends, happy marriage, good children, family members practicing their faith, successful careers, vacations, down time, not too much stress, being loved, feeling appreciated, and so on.

     We have expectations of people: how they should act, what they should or shouldn’t say, the level of involvement they should have in our lives, how they should think about matters we see as important, and the like.

          And then we have expectations for specific occasions: good weather, good attendance, everything going smoothly, good health, low stress and a lovely time.

     And lastly, but of vital importance, we have expectations even of God: if He really loved me, my life would be easier, bad things wouldn’t happen, and all would be well!

     Truth be told, our expectations are often unrealistic. We want life to unfold as we imagine it should. When it doesn’t, we feel crushed. We expect others to be and act as we do. When they don’t, we do not understand and don’t even give them room to explain. Our minds are made up. They fell short. Why did we expect more from them? Why did we expect more from God?

     Believing that life should turn out as we would like is ludicrous! We are not in heaven. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. We are not perfect, nor is anyone else. We will be disappointed and will disappoint others. We need to come to grips with the idea that this life is passing. We will have happy moments here, but they will be fleeting. Our goal is heaven where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. Behold, I make all things new” (Rv 21:4-5).

     Heaven is God’s promise to us. It gives us something to look toward when life is difficult and challenging – when our expectations are dashed and we are tempted to allow the evil one to rob us of our joy. We must not give him the power over us and our emotions. We need to remember that if Papa has allowed this particular situation, it must somehow be for our eternal good. We have to look at the whole picture and not just the part that is, in our eyes, out of line with our vision of how life should be. We have to remember that we are a work in progress and if we place our trust in God, these difficult times can make us into saints.

     The saints didn’t start out as saints. They were sinners just like us who just kept trying. Relying on the graces received from God and through His Sacraments, when life’s expectations were not met, they kept believing and trusting in God. They did not allow their disappointments to steer them from their goal of reaching holiness.

     What is another key to being able to trust and surrender to life’s happenings? Through grace you will believe in the goodness of God and trust in His tremendous love for you. Knowing that He will bring good from everything – even the really difficult stuff, is a gift! In our humanity, this is very hard for us to believe, but it’s God’s truth. The saints practiced this truth by thanking and praising God in all things.

     St. Teresa of Calcutta was known for saying, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job1:21). Her trust in God was total and complete. She lived in darkness, yet held fast to God and His goodness.

     Jesus told St. Faustina that when she did not trust Him, it wounded Him deeply. She too was to praise and thank God for everything.

     We can’t forget St. Therese, who wrote in her biography, “Jesus does not demand great actions from us but, simply surrender and gratitude. Has He not said: ‘Offer to God the sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving?” (Ps 49:14).

     Giving thanks and praise to God in ALL THINGS is a tall order! It takes a heroic amount of grace to even entertain the idea of beginning this practice. Yet, I’m weary and tired of allowing the joy that the Lord wants to give me to be stolen. I want to correct my vision and look at life’s situations through the eyes of my heavenly Father. I want to let go of expectations and learn to trust, especially when everything tells me not to. I want to praise and thank God because it will give Him joy! It will show Him just how much I love Him and trust in His great love for me. It won’t be easy, but with the help of God and His great communion of saints, it is possible.

     “Joy isn’t found in the material objects surrounding us, but in the inner recesses of the soul. One can possess joy in a prison cell as well as in a palace (St. Therese).

     Deepen your trust in God. Let go of unmet expectations. Stop the thief in his tracks. Don’t allow him to rob you of your joy. Praise and thank God instead!

     “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes:18).
 
    
    
    

Stand Firm

     “A man must go through a long and great conflict in himself before he can learn fully to overcome himself, and to draw his whole affection towards God. When a man stands upon himself he is easily drawn aside after human comforts. But a true lover of Christ, and a diligent pursuer of virtue, does not hunt after comforts, nor seek such sensible sweetnesses, but is rather willing to bear strong trials and hard labors for Christ.”                
                                                                               Thomas a’ Kempis


     I claim and long to be a true lover of Christ, but lately, I have very much felt like St. Paul: “The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want” (Rm. 7: 18b-19).

     For the last few months, I have been struggling so much in areas of my life with issues which, for quite some time, I thought I had overcome. What used to be easy and effortless, is now, more difficult than previously. I was under the impression that the battles I had fought so hard to win and overcome, were behind me. Boy, was I mistaken!

     “When an unclean spirit goes out of a person it roams through arid regions searching for rest but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my home from which I came.’ But returning, it finds it empty, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and brings back with itself seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they move in and dwell there; and the last condition of that person is worse than the first” (Mt. 12: 43-45).

     Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m possessed by an evil spirit, but by leaving my guard down, I had become somewhat proud. I had come “to stand upon myself and have allowed myself to be drawn after human comforts.” I had stopped listening to that little voice from the Holy Spirit, warning me about my weaknesses. I had depended far too much upon myself, and lost my footing. I had become soft and lost my stamina to engage the enemy within. At times, I have even forgotten that there is a battle!

     In the past, when I had overcome “myself,” it was with much effort. I had to work very hard and depend upon God completely. I knew that I was weak and helpless. I did not trust myself, but put my trust in God. Humility was my strength. I recognized my littleness and helplessness. But at the same time, I knew that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Ph 4:13).

     I want to take back “my home.” I want Christ to “sweep it out for me and put it in order.” I no longer want to feel like the Pharisees, “who cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with plunder and evil” (Lk 11: 39-40).  I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite. I want God to be the tenant in my home. I want Him to occupy my heart fully. I want to be free once again!

     “For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery” (Gal 5:1). “For you were called to freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh” (Gal 5:13).

     St. Paul tells us that we must not submit to “our flesh.” I have said yes to myself, far too much lately. I need to learn to say no. I do not want to produce the fruits of the flesh, but those of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22).

     If I live by the Spirit and listen to His promptings I will grow in His glorious fruits, one of which is self- control. It is not something I can just muster on my own – not for long anyway! As I try to live a virtuous life, I need and long for all the other fruits of the Spirit to assist me. I cannot fight this battle without them, nor bear the trials and labors which present themselves daily.

     I need to look beyond myself and look to God and His great love for me. When we truly love someone, we are willing to do all that we can to prove our love. So easily forgetting ourselves, thinking only of them, we are willing to die to all that separates us. I have to reject and say no to all that keeps me from truly loving God. I cannot do this on my own. I need God’s help. I need His love and mercy!

     In my previous post, The Wonders of God’s Ways, we discovered that Jesus’ heart burns with His graces of love and mercy which are rejected by many. He is looking for souls to receive these graces. I do not want to be counted among those who reject Christ's love, nor do you. I don’t want to the one who turns her back on Christ for a fleeting pleasure. I’m certain you do not either. In our times of temptation, when we are tempted to give in to the desires of our flesh, run to Jesus instead. We mustn’t ignore His call. It is the yearning and deep desire of our souls to be filled with Him. The passing things of this world will not fill us! Let us ask Christ to pour, in abundance, the rejected love and mercy that is bringing pain to His Heart. In return, we’ll shower Jesus with our love, as we turn our eyes toward Him. He will strengthen us. He will carry us when necessary.

     Don’t give up the fight; God will become your All!
   
    
    

The Wonder of God's Ways

     “I desire to bestow My graces upon souls, but they do not want to accept them. You, at least, come to Me as often as possible and take these graces they do not want to accept. In this way you will console My Heart. Oh, how indifferent are souls to so much goodness, to so many proofs of love! My Heart drinks only of the ingratitude and forgetfulness of souls living in the world. They have time for everything, but they have no time to come to Me for graces. The flames of mercy are burning Me. I desire to pour them out on human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them! I am looking for souls who would like to receive My grace.”                                              
                                                                                        Jesus to St. Faustina


     When Rachel read those words about 6 months ago, they penetrated her heart! Christ was speaking directly to her!

     Saddened by the pain Christ experienced when souls reject His love and grace, Rachel felt convicted to do something to help. In order to console Him, Rachel planned to beg Jesus to bestow on her, all the love and graces He had to give, that was rejected by others. She would practice this devotion when she received Jesus in Holy Communion and during her prayer time

     Being a daily communicant, Rachel couldn’t wait to add this beautiful practice to her time of thanksgiving with Jesus in Holy Communion. It brought joy to her heart each time she brought consolation and love to Christ’s Heart, by asking for the unsought love and graces. She smiled, both inside and out, when she thought about the benefits of her great find: she not only relieved the pain and suffering of Jesus, but she would receive extra love and grace. It was a win/win situation and she delighted in the way it had enhanced her reception of Holy Communion, as well as her prayer time.

                                                                 Fast forward six months.

     Rachel is at Mass. A young girl is sitting next to her. The girl is texting, checking her email, and whatever else she could do on her phone while Mass is being celebrated.

     Rachel is feeling very distracted by the girl’s actions. She wants to do or say something, but holds back. The consecration is about to begin. Rachel is hoping that the girl will have the good sense to at least stop during this very sacred time. She does not. Rachel’s feelings move from distraction, to being very upset!

        It was now time to for Communion. While Rachel was coming back to her seat, after receiving Jesus, she felt like her heart could break. The young girl was so oblivious to all the love and graces that Jesus wanted to give her. Rachael eyes filled with tears. As Rachel is speaking with Jesus and asking for His rejected love and mercy, Jesus speaks to her heart. He tells her that this girls’ actions are a perfect example of the way He is rejected. He is right there, waiting to pour His love and mercy upon her, and she is totally unaware of Him and His presence – even after having received Him in Holy Communion.

     Rachel cries inwardly from the depth of her heart, “Oh my Lord Jesus! Please forgive her. She does not know what she is doing.  I’ll take the love and mercy that she is rejecting. Pour it down on me. Pour it down on her as well. She doesn’t even know that it’s there for the taking.” Once more, Rachel asked Jesus to forgive the girl.

     Mass was over. Rachel left Church feeling distraught and heavy hearted.

     Several days had passed since the incident at Mass. Rachel thought about the girl and prayed for her. She had a difficult time understanding the young girl’s indifference to the treasures Jesus wanted to share. She would continue to pray for the girl. Maybe that’s why they were seated together . . .  God wanted Rachel to pray for her.

     The following week was particularly challenging for Rachel. Whatever could go wrong did. She was weary, tired, cranky and frazzled. By the end of the week, Rachel felt like she had no control of anything in her life. She needed some comfort. She wanted to do something for herself. Her entire week had been spent on others; she desperately needed some kind of reprieve!

     Rachel turned to her own devices and after indulging, she realized that she did not even enjoy it. She felt guilty. It had not taken away her negative feelings, in fact, it had added to their weight.

     While sitting, chastising herself for her actions, she heard the sweet voice of Jesus. “Rachel, remember the other day at Mass, when you were upset about the young girl on her phone, and you couldn’t understand why? You have just done the same thing.

     “You had a bad week, but you always have a choice. You could have come to Me. I was waiting for you with My grace and merciful love. You choose instead to turn away from Me and go to your own devices, rejecting Me and My gifts. Rachel, I want to be the One you run to when life is difficult. I want to fill you with My love, mercy and graces, not only at Holy Communion, but anytime! I am here. I can fill you. Come to Me. I love you and want what’s best for you. Other things will leave you empty. I will not.”

     Rachel could not believe her ears! She would have not ever imagined, that she could be like the young girl who had blatantly ignored Jesus. She felt ashamed of her actions. Remorse and contrition filled her soul. She did not mean to hurt Jesus. She would never want to hurt Him. Rachel loved to bring Him joy and happiness! She was filled with sorrow. Rachel asked Jesus to forgive her. She then realized the reason she had been seated beside the young girl: to learn that she too can choose to reject or turn towards Jesus’ merciful love and grace. He is always there, waiting to pour it down upon us. We only have to ask.

    Previously, Rachel hadn’t realized that she could practice this devotion outside of her prayer time and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion. This realization opened up vast new opportunities for her to soothe the Heart of Jesus. She now felt excited. God has used her fall to teach her a valuable lesson!

     Little did Rachel realize, that her new “spiritual friend,” would have such a positive impact on her relationship with God. Her friends’ poor actions would help her and others to grow closer to God. The power of evil was crushed by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The wonder of God’s ways!

    Rachel, my dear sister, shared this story with me because she knew it could help me in my struggle towards holiness. I asked if she’d mind if I shared it with you. She gave me her blessing!

     Let us follow Rachel’s lead. Let us relieve the burning heart of Jesus, by begging Him for the rejected love and mercy that He longs to pour upon souls. Let us make this our practice, not only in our time of prayer and when receiving Jesus in Holy Communion, but throughout our day as well. May we especially turn to Jesus, in our moments of weakness and temptation. He is there waiting for us, with all the love and graces that we need to fill our hearts like a banquet. We only need to ask!

     Jesus longs and thirsts for our love. Slake His thirst by allowing Him to pour His love and mercy upon you. Relieve His pain and bring joy to His heart! Allow His love to fill you to the brim. Everything else will leave you empty!

     “Thus I will bless you while I live; lifting up my hands, I will call upon Your name. As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied, and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise You” (Psalm 63: 5-6).  

    “O my Strength, it is You to whom I turn, for You, O God, are my stronghold, the God who shows me love” (Psalm 59:18).
    
    
    
    
                                               

Look to Heaven and Smile

     “The soul that does not attach itself solely to the will of God will find neither satisfaction nor sanctification in any other means however excellent by which it may attempt to gain them. If that which God Himself chooses for you does not content you, from whom do you expect to obtain what you desire? . . . No soul can be really nourished, fortified, purified, enriched, and sanctified except in fulfilling the duties of the present moment.”                                                                                                                                                            Fr Jean-Pierre de Caussade


     Being purified of our own self-will is one of the most difficult aspects of growing in sanctity! Our wills are alive and well and do not like to be crossed! Our daily plans often get changed, much to our displeasure, and it is rare we accept them in peace.

      If we peered into a mirror to look upon our demeanor, it would become clear to us, as it is to all around us, that we are anything but peace filled. We mumble, grumble and may even growl at those who are near. We are not a picture of sanctity, but rather resemble a bratty child who has not gotten their way! 

     We are called to resemble our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whose food was to do the will of His Father. Jesus was clear in His call to His disciples: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Lk 9: 23-24).

     “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God” (Lk 9: 62). We need to let go of our will. We need to let go and not look back and to what we wanted. Trusting instead, that the situation that has presented itself, is God’s way for us to grow in holiness. It may not be to our choosing or to our liking, but it is for our best. Believing this will often take a heroic act of the will on our part. God will give us the grace to surrender our will. We need to accept the grace, believe that is present to us, and act as though it is . . . whether we feel it or not.

     Father de Caussaude is clear. It is in fulfilling the duties of the present moment—the situations right in front of us – those we have planned and those we have not -- which will nourish, fortify, purify, enrich and sanctify our soul. It is our path to holiness. It is the narrow path that our Lord speaks about that few choose.

     Each and every day, life presents to us many ways to put this into practice. If you’re like me, practice has still not made perfect – far from it. And it is sainthood that our good God is calling us to achieve; that does not come easily!


     So, when you have gone from plan A to plan G and it’s only 9 a.m., when your car breaks down or your pipes are leaking, when your children are sick or your loved one needs your help, when you’re once again called to do what you’d really rather not be doing, rejoice and be glad! God is giving you another opportunity to grow in holiness.

     Look up to heaven and smile. God is just doing His job trying to strengthen our spiritual muscles until we grow in likeness to His Son, Jesus.

     You know how the saying goes: If you want to make God smile, tell Him your plans for the day. If you want to hear Him belly laugh, tell Him your plans for your life.

     God’s plans for our lives are not always easy, but when we cooperate and operate in His grace, the results are always heavenly!

     Stop resisting. Give in. Father does know best!
     
    
    
     
    
    
    

The Present Moment -- What a Gift

   One example of the wisdom of God is that He does not reveal the future to us. This is truly a mercy!

    Many of us would have wanted to run away in order to avoid the difficult events that have occurred in our lives. But truth be told, it was those very events that helped us to grow in strength and virtue – helped us become the man or woman we are today.

     Even with that said, thinking about living with difficulties in the future is still frightening! The “unknown” in itself can be unnerving, but when you add all the “what ifs” that our imagination can conjure up, our fear can be endless. Thanks be to God, most of them never come about anyway, yet we allow ourselves to venture into the future where we may never tread.

     And then of course, there’s the past!

      We revisit memories that are filled with regrets and hurts. We beat ourselves up with the “should haves, would haves, could haves, and whys,” and experience the pain and regrets all over again. We allow the past to wound us again and again, till our wound is once more festering and raw.

     Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we torture ourselves by revisiting the past or delving into the future? Why do we give in to the temptation to move from the present moment where God’s grace is located? We get trapped instead, feeling anxious and burdened.

     God’s grace is neither in the past nor the future!

     It is the devil’s aim to keep us from staying in the present moment. He knows if he can keep us in the past or the future, we’re doomed. God’s grace is not there. GOD IS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT – and so is His grace!

     The present moment is all that we have really anyway. It is the only offering that we can give to God. We need to stay close to our Papa and not allow ourselves to venture into the pain of the past or the unknown territory of the future. We have to keep hold of our Papa’s hand and stay with Him right here in the present moment. He will shower us with all the graces we need to navigate through our lives – with all its up’s and downs.

     This is not a new problem for mankind. It is evident from the writings of the saints, that many of them struggled with this temptation.

     St. Augustine advised us long ago: “Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love and the future to God’s providence.”

    And then the words of wisdom from St. Francis de Sales: “Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in His love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.  
  
     Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

     Be at peace then, put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.”

     And lastly, the beautiful prayer of St. Faustina. Let us make it our own:

     “O my God, when I look into the future, I am frightened, but why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, as the future may never enter my soul at all.

     It is no longer in my power, to change, correct or add to the past; for neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

     O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me Your omnipotence.

      And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk like a little child, offering to You each day this heart burning with love for Your greater glory.”

     St. Augustine, St. Frances de Sales, and St. Faustina please pray for us! Pray that we may cooperate with God’s grace to stay in the present moment. Intercede for us that we may learn to trust God with every fiber of our being. Ask that God will help us to let go of the spirit of fear so we can receive the peace that He longs to bestow upon us. May our lives be one continual FIAT as we abide in the loving heart of the Father. Amen!
                                                                                    
    
   
    
    


        

Mary -- My Mother -- My Teacher

     “Your prayer, like all things, rests entirely in the hands of the Father. As you spend time with Mary in prayer, and as she reveals her heart to you, she will share with you how she is able to receive the Father’s love in all circumstances, whether holding Jesus in her arms at Bethlehem or Calvary. Mary’s pure heart is able to accept divine love in every moment, even when her circumstances are painful. Mary has utter trust in the Father’s care for her, and she is completely surrendered to His will, even to the point of offering her dear Son at Calvary without any resistance. Mary will show you how to trust completely, how to admit the Father’s love into every circumstance, and how to allow Him to have total control of your life, in the confidence that He will stay with you. By being with Mary at Calvary, she shares with you her freedom to allow God to love as He chooses and in the measure that He desires. No part of Mary’s life is protected from God; everything is His. Mary leads you into this experience from the inside, from her own awareness of God and from her own willingness to let Him be everything for  her.                                                                                           
 Good counsel from a wise and holy priest


     These precious words were given to me in spiritual direction over five and a half years ago. Since that time, I have meditated on these words, again and again, trying to glean and receive from Mary, my mother, this awesome lesson of trust.

     Learning to accept and receive Papa’s love when circumstances are painful, is not something that comes natural to me. Often like a frightened little child, I want to run and hide – fleeing from the pain – hoping it will just disappear. The thought that my heavenly Father has allowed it, does not give me comfort but sets me in confusion. My reaction points out how very far I am from complete surrender and trust in the love of the Father. My vision is skewed. I do not yet see life as Mary does.

    “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God” (Mt 5: 8).

     Unlike my mother Mary, my heart is not pure. I do not always see God nor feel His love in difficult circumstances. My heart is wounded by my own sins and by the pain inflicted by others. In my woundedness, I fear the cost of consciously making myself vulnerable. I fear laying aside my own will when receiving all the burden of life’s circumstances – and accepting the will of God without resistance. Nevertheless, I am well aware that I cannot control every aspect of my life, nor the lives of those I love. Life will have its way and things will happen that will be painful and difficult. And though I try to resist the idea of surrender, something deep within my mind and heart calls me to beg and plead to my Mother that I may receive this special grace from God.

     This desire causes me to want to spend time with Mary at Calvary, so she may share with me her freedom to allow God to love me as He chooses and in the measure He desires. I long to give all to God and not close any area of my life to Him as “off limits.” I yearn to truly learn from Mary how to accept God’s divine love in every moment of my life – painful times as well as joyous. I desire to stop hiding behind a chair, like a frightened child, and run to my Papa’s arms instead – receiving the love that He longs to lavish upon me. My hope is that my Mother Mary will teach me and lead me to allow God, my heavenly Father, to be everything for me.

     Although I have progressed in this area, it is clear I have much to learn and surrender. God ALONE knows the remaining time I have on this earth and He will adjust my lessons accordingly. Until He calls me home, I will continue to be a pupil in the school of Mary, praying to her Spouse the Holy Spirit, asking Him to fill me with His gifts and graces to respond fully that I may become a true daughter of my Mother Mary!
    
         
    

The Father's Response

     “Prayers are God-filled words in which our love and God’s love are joined. That love embraces the people for whom we are praying, and love changes people and situations. This doesn’t mean that we will always get what we want, but Jesus does promise we will get what we need.”                                                                                                                                Rev. Jude Winkler, O.F.M.

     “God loves me so much that He provides my every need. God’s providence disposes and directs everything for His honor and glory and for the good of my soul."                                                                                                                                                            Mother Angelica


     In our head, we know that both Father Jude’s and Mother Angelica’s statements speak truth. But in our heart, when life does not turn out the way we were hoping and praying it would, we are filled with doubt.

     Watching those we love suffer is difficult. We wish that we could take their place and relieve them of their pain. God will sometimes allow us to share in their suffering, but our loved ones still remain on the cross. It is difficult to see both God’s love and ours embracing them while their suffering continues. During times of trial, it is downright hard to believe we’ve received what we need!