Be Strong with Fortitude

      Kneeling, and with my hands raised to heaven, I pour out my heart to God in prayer. I pray for His guidance, claim His love, and surrender my heart. I vow to run His race and ask that His will be done in me and through me. And then it happens. I become complacent, challenges and trials come, and my once-bold heart winces. In an instant, my willingness to do His will loses its zealousness. Oh, to have the fortitude of Saint John the Baptist. Jennifer Hubbard

     As I read Jennifer’s reflection, her words resonated deep within my being. 

     I too have admired Saint John the Baptist, for most of my adult life. He knew his mission. He was not swayed by obstacles or persecution. He was determined to fulfill his task. He was faithful to the end and never denied Christ. This cost him greatly. He died to his own will, was imprisoned and was martyred rather than stray from the path God had set before him. He was truly filled with the virtue of fortitude.

     According to Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, “fortitude enables us to face and bear whatever difficulty, whatever hardship or sacrifice we may encounter in the fulfillment of duty. A soul that possesses the virtue of fortitude is well armed and cannot be frightened by ay struggle, temptation, or other obstacle; rather in the midst of all this, it remains in peaceful security because its strength comes from God Himself.”

     It is clear, Saint John did not rely on himself to carry out God’s plan. He knew he needed to be obedient and depended on God’s help to achieve it. His face was set like flint, making straight the path for the Lord.

     Unbeknown to me, I had been struggling with the idea of self-sufficiency, for a few days. It didn’t occur to me until I was speaking with my sister Rachael. I expressed to her the difficulty I was having, in examining my conscience. I attributed it to being three weeks instead of my usual two since my last confession. 

     Rachael did not have that problem. She shared how she always relies on the Holy Spirit and Our Lady to help her to see her sins and failings and is at peace with what is revealed. Although I always pray to know my sins, I did not have her confidence and it seemed like I was depending more upon myself to “remember.”

     Self-reliance was also exhibiting itself in an area of a sacrifice I was making for a special intention. It was almost two weeks since I had begun, and for the most part, it had been relatively easy. I had felt certain that my sacrifice, coupled with Masses being offered for my intention, would in fact, make a world of a difference. Doubt had come into play. I was now beginning to be plagued with thoughts by the evil one that my sacrifice would not really make a difference. Why would it, he whispered. He was taunting me, and I was becoming weak. I was now trying to “white knuckle” it instead of relying on God for help.

     Pride is a sister to self-reliance and accompanies her into our hearts. She was showing her presence in various ways: my way is best, how can they think like that, I want it now, I don’t want to ask, I want it the way I want it! Pride was trying her best to infiltrate my thoughts and affect my behavior…or at the least, turn me inward.

     After reading the reflection, my heart had been stirred, making me aware that I needed to plead to God for help. I asked Saint John to intercede for me as well, so that I could decrease and allow God to increase in me. Although I knew how much I depended upon God and His grace, I had become sidetracked, one way or another. 

     It seemed like I was becoming distracted by trying to “stay the course.” My focus had shifted upon myself. I had invertedly, taken my eyes off of Jesus. Clinging to His will and depending upon Him for the grace to carry it out was being neglected. I needed the virtue of fortitude and humility to place my confidence once again in God, knowing that sanctity is His desire for me. He was waiting to be asked.

     “This is the will of God, your holiness.” 1Thesslaonians 4:3

     We are assured by God in holy scripture that holiness is God’s will for us. Our holiness lies in carrying out our vocation to the best of our ability. God’s grace is there to enable us to do just that. We can depend and rely on that very fact, but we must do our part and cooperate with the grace to make it operative in our lives.

     I became aware of this fact and went to a quiet place to ask the Holy Spirit and Our Lady to help me to see my sins and make a good confession. My prayers were answered as my sins were revealed. I repented of my sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, received absolution, along with the grace to begin again.

     Being faithful day in and day out, to live our vocations faithfully and with fortitude can only be done with God’s help. We must not become discouraged or disheartened when we fail. God is there to pick us up, enabling us to start again. We are not loved less, in fact, it’s our faults and failures that make us in need of a Savior. God is delighted to pour His love and mercy upon us in abundance. We must pray for the virtue of fortitude and expect to receive it from our Papa. 

     Instead of becoming self-reliant when challenges and trials occur, rely on God and His strength. Walk then in the confidence that He will give you all you need to accomplish your task.

     “For You are my hope, O Lord; my trust, O God, from my youth. On You I depend from birth; from my mother’s womb You are my strength.” Psalm 71: 5-6

     Saint John the Baptist, pray for us!