Avoiding Storms

  “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in Thee my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of Thy wings, I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.”                 Psalm 57:1

     For well over a month, I felt like I had one foot in heaven and the other on earth. I was still astonished   over the many blessings I had experienced, and my heart was full of gratitude to God. I was well aware that this would not last, but I never expected just how low I could be brought down.

     Out of the blue, I was challenged by a decision reached years ago, that quite frankly, I thought had been resolved for the best. 

     All of the feelings that I experienced at the time, came back upon me. I felt stunned: Like when you get punched in the gut and you don’t see it coming. I didn’t expect the feelings to still be so intense and painful. It was difficult to deal with it then, and I really didn’t feel like dealing with it now.

     While I was still reeling from those punches, the devil, seeing the turmoil I was experiencing, began to stir the pot. He was hitting me in many of my vulnerable places in other relationships. He was adding fuel to the already blazing fire. I was responding poorly, by allowing a paralyzing fear to overtake me and rob me of God’s peace.

     The evil one was trying to fracture my trust in God and smash it to the ground. I had tried so desperately for so many years to overcome his lies and believe instead, the truth that God can be trusted.

     I couldn’t give the devil that kind of power over me. Even though I didn’t understand why these things were happening, because Papa had allowed it, I must trust it is for my best. I didn’t realize just how wounded I was, and this may be the very opportunity that He will use to heal me. 

     In my mind’s eye, I ran to Papa. I allowed Him to lift me up and hold me close to His heart, till the storms of destruction passed by. I tried to open myself up and receive His love. 

     I began to speak to Him. “Papa, I cannot do this on my own. I want to regain Your peace—the peace that is beyond all understanding. But I can’t make that happen.”

     “I have to cling to You and remember Your word to me: ‘I have heard your prayers, and seen your tears, and I will heal you.’ 2Kings 20:5. I must repeat this over and over again until I come to receive it as truth, and stop believing the lies the evil one repeats, over and over again. I must cling to You and remember all that You have done for me. I must thank and praise You for this situation that You have allowed for my good. ‘Though the fig blooms not, and there is no fruit on the vine, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, and exult in God my savior.’” Habakkuk3:17-18

     “I must hold fast to You! I must praise you, my God! Praise will lift me up and the devil then will flee!”

     “Papa, I have experienced Your peace, joy and freedom. I don’t want events in my life to have the negative effect on me that it can at times. I want Your love to cast away all my fears. I want Your love to be my all and my everything. I want it to be enough, that NO THING can shake my faith, trust and peace.”

     “HELP ME, PAPA! PLEASE! Restore Christ’s peace. Strengthen my love and my faith in You. Help me to accept all, my God, as coming from You for my good. Help me to realize it more quickly the next time, and not allow the devil to make me question my trust in You, or the deep love that You have for me.”

     “Papa, I love You! Thank You for your patience with me.”

     As I left my time of prayer, I knew it would be some time before I felt back to normal. But I took the most important step, by clinging to God and allowing Him once again, to heal my heart with His love and grace. I pray that God will also show me how to ignore Satan’s rants in the future and tell him to return straight to hell where he belongs!

     “I cried to God Most High, to God who fulfils His purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; He will put to shame those who trample upon me. God will send forth His steadfast love and His faithfulness!”       Psalm 57:2-3