Monday, January 16, 2023

Do Whatever He Tells You

      Raphael called the two men aside privately and said to them: “Thank God! Give him the praise and the glory. Before all the living, acknowledge the many good things he has done for you, by blessing and extolling his name in song. Before all men, honor and proclaim God’s deeds, and do not be slack in praising him. A king’s secret is prudent to keep, but the works of God are to be declared and made known. Praise them with due honor.”                                                                 Tobit 12: 6-7     


     As the nudge from God to write again was revealed to me, I wondered just how long it had been. To my shock and amazement, it had been over 11 months! So very much had transpired in that time, and so much of it, miraculous in nature.

     God’s hand in my life, and in the lives of those I loved, was so evident to me now. I knew it was time to tell the story and give God the praise that was long overdue! In order not to shortchange God, it will take a good number of posts.     

     I was happy to say goodbye to 2021. Even without Covid, it had been challenging at times, and I looked forward to a brand-new year. I was excited because it was 2022. Twenty-two had always been my favorite number and this year was a “big” birthday, but what made it even more special, was the fact it would be celebrated on 02/22/22! 

     Unfortunately, Covid spread rampantly after Christmas and the new year, and thinking about having a large birthday celebration seemed downright selfish. I brought my disappointment to God and asked Him just what we could do to make it special? 

     “Why don’t you go on a retreat?” was the thought that came to my mind. I wasn’t sure how my husband would respond to my request. When I went to the Holy Land, a number of years ago, it was on the condition that I would not go on any more overnight retreats. Because I had agreed with his request, I felt uncertain that he would say yes now. I asked family and friends to intercede for me for this prayer intention and I did my homework to see if one was available.

     To my great delight, a silent, private, directed retreat was scheduled in less than two weeks, and the spiritual director I had seen in the past, was part of it. I was getting both excited and nervous! What would Johnathan say?  Would he agree with my reasoning, because it was a “special” birthday, an exception could be made? I hoped! I prayed! I counted on my family and friend’s prayers, along with the fact that I truly believed it had been an inspiration from God. So, I asked Johnathan.

     His initial reaction seemed positive. I was very surprised and tried not to jump up and down with joy! Wow! This is awesome, Papa! Thank You! I expected somewhat of a discussion, but I’ll take this and be grateful!

     The next morning everything changed! “What about your promise not to go on overnight retreats? Have you forgotten about it?” I was stunned! I almost didn’t know how to answer because of my great shock. I had anticipated this conversation last evening, but not today. There was more going on here than I could see, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Do I let go of my request or do I try to see if it can be salvaged? I didn’t know. I needed to pray and ask once more for prayers, that God’s will, whatever it was, could become clear. Regardless of the outcome, my husband and I needed to address this issue and resolve it, because I did not want it to be an obstacle in our relationship. 

     Our discussions had their ups and downs, but in the end, it was decided I would go for two full days, but only one night. I would be home for dinner on the second day. I felt somewhat disappointed, till my sister Sarah reminded me that the Lord had created the whole universe in six days and could do in me what needed to be accomplished in two days. I needed to trust that Papa would provide.

     When I arrived at the retreat house, my name was not on the list. I was told to go to the chapel to wait, while things were cleared up.

     A strong temptation to believe that I shouldn’t be there came upon me. I looked to God, and He gave me the Word, “Behold, I am sending my messenger ahead of you; he will prepare your way.” Mk1:2 

     "No, this retreat was an invitation from You, Lord. I belong here. You are going to do a work in me. I must believe that truth."

     God’s Word continued, “And coming up from the water, he saw the heavens being torn open, and a Spirit like a dove descending upon Him. And a voice from the heavens came, “You are my beloved Son with You I am well pleased.” Mk1:10-11

     God had torn asunder much for me to be there. It was no easy task. He wanted to impress upon my heart, just Whose I was. I was His daughter and not just one among many, but His beloved daughter. He’d gone to great lengths for me to be there and would accomplish what He set out to do in me.

     I met with my spiritual director later that afternoon and opened my heart to her. I shared my struggles and burdens in my relationship with God and others. She seemed somewhat troubled. She seemed concerned that in order to hold onto peace, I would at times, settle for compliance, and thereby, forfeit the gift of freedom God had given to me.

     Her words startled me, yet at the same time, I knew it was something in which I needed to look. She asked me to bring to prayer the question: How can I be freed of my burden and gain the freedom God wants me to have?

     The thought of this frightened me! I did not like to rock the boat. What would God ask of me? Tears began to well up and fall down my face.

     One of the things I needed to understand was that freedom was not license. It was not to be rebellious and just do whatever I felt like doing. No, the freedom we were talking about was the gift God has given to each of us. 

     In the Catechism, paragraph 178 states: Freedom is exercised in relationships between human beings. Every human person, created in the image of God, has the natural right to be recognized as a free and responsible being. All owe to each other the duty of this respect.

     Realizing that I had inadvertently relinquished my freedom to others, brought the grace and courage I needed to trust God and continue on my quest. I gave God the green light to continue to work in me.   

         Papa wasted no time in showering me with His precious Word; Scriptures that spoke to my heart, healed my heart, and allowed me to breathe in His love and peace. 

     “I have heard your prayers and seen your tears and I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20: 5 

     God then sent memories of past healings and His faithfulness to me. I invited Jesus and Mary into this wound in my heart. I immediately had an image of the wedding feast at Cana. Mary looked at me, turned to Jesus and said, “She has no wine.” She then looked back at me and said, “Do whatever He tells you.” 

     I knew from the story that when the servers did whatever Jesus told them, a miracle occurred! I believe I was to do the same. 

     It was the evening of my first day. A lot had already occurred. God was inviting me to reclaim my gift of freedom by listening to Him before I speak and then do what He’s asking me to do. It sounded so easy, but fear was lurking somewhere in my heart to doubt His promise to me.

     The next day at Mass, the Gospel contained two miracles: the woman who had spent all that she had on doctors looking for a cure and Jairus’ daughter. Both miracles needed the faith from those who would receive the impossible from God. In fact, after Jairus’ daughter had died, Jesus told him, “Do not be afraid; just have faith.” 

     I knew God was calling me to cling to those words and to Him, whenever I felt fear creeping into my heart. God was calling me to a deeper level of trust and surrender and I needed to believe with every fiber of my being.

     God was offering the gift of freedom; something I had not realized I had relinquished on my own. Along with the gift, the wisdom to know how to hold on to it. This too came from His Word. “Do whatever He tells you.” 

     During those times in my life when I am unsure or uncertain of what to say, how to act, what to do, I am to pause, listen and obey the prompting.

     Right there in the chapel with my dear sweet Jesus, it was easy to believe. What would happen when I arrived back home, or was with friends and relatives? Would it work then? Or would I allow fear to enter and not believe in God’s promise when life’s happenings were not as I liked? 

     It was only hours before I’d be leaving to go home. I needed to sit in God’s presence and soak in His love and look at all He had done in me. 

     He had prepared the way before me and had opened doors that appeared to be closed. He went out of His way to drench me in His precious Word, revealing to me exactly what I needed to hear. He once again reminded me of Whose I was, and that He would continue to be with me. He showed me just how faithful He is to His promise and that He would continue to be with me, not matter what.

     We are all wounded from our own personal sin, the sins of others and life’s happenings. We must remember that God is well aware of every one of them and will heal them in His time. None of these wounds or circumstances are bigger than our good God! We must believe that and walk in that truth…and when we doubt, repeat the verse from 2Kings, helping us to hold on to His promise. 

     I left the retreat, full of freedom, hope and gratitude. God had more than met my expectations. The retreat, a gift from my siblings for my birthday, was received with a grateful heart. I went home with my reclaimed freedom and with the key to keep it that way. 

“Do whatever He tells you.”  John 2:5…and I did!                                 

     


1 comment:

  1. Welcome home Avia Joy! We have missed you! Thank you so much for sharing this invaluable lesson & advice!

    ReplyDelete