“Which of you constructing a tower does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundation and finding himself unable to finish the work the onlookers should laugh at him and say, ‘This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.’ Or what king marching into battle would not first sit down and decide whether with ten thousand troops he can successfully oppose another king advancing upon him with twenty thousand troops? But if not, while he is still far away, he will send a delegation to ask for peace terms. In the same way, everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple” ( Lk 14 vs 28-33).
For a number of weeks, I found myself, once again, wrestling with God. I was tired of being the one called to change; tired of looking at my attitudes and actions. I wanted God to focus on someone other than me. This time I would not cry “uncle.” I just wanted to end this wrestling match, walk out of the ring, and call it quits! I was weary, tired and emotionally spent. Taking your relationship with God seriously, costs dearly and frankly, I felt bankrupt.