The Agony of Defiance!

     Lent could not come fast enough for me this year! Life was not as I liked, therefore, an inner restlessness and lack of peace once again, invaded my being. Due to this restlessness, an inordinate attachment, with which I have struggled, on and off again for years, was rearing its ugly head and becoming my unwelcomed guest.

     I had the misguided idea, that with the arrival of Ash Wednesday, I would miraculously be able to overcome myself and “just say no!” I truly believed that Lent would be the vehicle God would use to help me regain my self-control.

     Boy was I wrong!

The Father - He told me to call Him Papa

     When I was a little girl and thought about God the Father, my concept of Him was the "God in charge." Jesus was the obedient Son and the Holy Spirit, well, He did whatever the Father or Jesus asked Him to do.

     At the same time, I thought of Him as my heavenly Father who cared and watched over me. I knew that He loved me very much because He had sent Jesus to open the gates of heaven, that had been closed because of the sin of Adam and Eve. He wanted me to be a good little girl so I could be with Him someday in heaven. It saddened me that there were people who did not love God, nor want to make Him happy. I promised Him at a young age to do what I could to show my love for Him.