Acquiesce to the Sovereign Director of Souls

      “The divine activity permeates the whole universe, it pervades every creature; wherever they are it is there; it goes before them, with them, and it follows them; all they have to do is let the waves bear them on. Would to God…all men could know how very easy it would be for them to arrive at a high degree of sanctity. They would only have to fulfill the simple duties of Christianity and of their state of life; to embrace with submission the crosses belonging to their state, and to submit with faith and love to the designs of Providence in all those things that have to be done or suffered without going out of their way to seek occasions for themselves. …This is the spirituality of all ages and of every state. No state of life can, assuredly, be sanctified in a more exalted manner, nor in a more wonderful and easy way than by the simple use of the means that God, the sovereign director of souls, gives them to do or to suffer at each moment.”                    Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

     Father de Caussade’s spirituality of abandonment to Divine Providence, has always resonated deep within my heart. His firm assurance that God is not like a clock maker who made us and then left us on our own to find our way back to Him and heaven someday but accompanies and directs us on our journey. 

     That very fact is confirmed, in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 301: “With creation, God does not abandon His creatures to themselves. He not only gives them being and existence, but also, at every moment, upholds and sustains them in being, enables them to act and brings them to their final end. Recognizing this utter and complete dependence with respect to the Creator is a source of wisdom and freedom, of joy and confidence.”

     Fr. de Caussade assures us that by following the duties of our state in life, living out a good Christian life—keeping the commandments and frequenting the sacraments, accepting the crosses and annoyances in our lives, not looking for any on our own, we can and should “arrive at a high degree of sanctity.” In fact, he goes on to say that we cannot be “sanctified in a more exalted manner, nor in a more wonderful easy way than by the simple use of the means that God, the sovereign director of souls, gives then to do or to suffer at each moment.”

     So, why do I try so hard to direct and control my growth in holiness and sanctity? Why do I put all the pressure and burden upon myself and not believe and trust that God does and will lead me? Why do I get impatient with my growth in holiness and with all the ways in which I still fall short? Why don’t I trust God with it and just cooperate in His leading me…the pace He goes as well as the direction He leads? Why don’t I just abandon myself completely and forever in His loving Providence, and hand everything over to Him completely? Why do I still want to control and make it more difficult than it has to be?

     I’m not sure if it stems from my childhood, when having “to do and strive to be loved” was planted deep within my psyche; Not only to do, but to do it well…excel, succeed. You know the saying, “good, better, best! Never, never rest, until your good is better and your better is your best.” 

     Now I know my mother meant well with her expectations of us trying to be the best version of ourselves, but unfortunately, it’s stuck with me in many ways. It has most definitely has played havoc with my relationship with God at times.

     My husband has a much different view of the spiritual life than I do. His is more in tuned with Fr. Jean-Pierre. He does what he is called to do, tries to live a good Christian life and doesn’t go looking to pile anything more on his plate than He believes God is calling Him to do.

     He is more lenient with himself than I am: when he if finished with his duties, he has no trouble relaxing; reading, swimming or watching tv. 

     He often kids me about my inability to relax or “do nothing,” as I see it. Yet, when I remember my early mothering years, I was delighted to see my children play and once they were in school, have some “down-time.” And if I really think about it, I’m sure Papa is delighted when we too make leisure time a priority.

     I do not struggle with spending time in the evening watching television shows with Jonathan. At this stage of my life by evening time, my duties are usually behind me and us spending time together, however we do, is important.

     I don’t remember when my “striving and feeling like it’s all on me to become holy” began. 

     I remember being more like my husband for a good bit of my life. From the time I was a little girl, I loved God, tried to please Him and do what I believed He was calling me to do. When I got married, I tried to be the best wife and mother I could and knew that it was in fulfilling all the duties in my life as it presented itself, I would grow in grace and virtue and grow in my relationship with God.

     Different times in my life, a spiritual awakening occurred, in which God would direct me to pursue or deepen my faith by becoming involved in various ministries. It all happened very naturally and was not something that I was orchestrating or controlling. 

     God and my faith were a priority, and yes, I did have to make choices to keep it so, but I don’t remember it being so difficult.

     Maybe it is because I have more free time now. I do not have a commitment to babysit for my grandchildren, several days a week, like I did in the past. I still look forward to seeing them often and spending “Nana” time with them. They truly light up my life!

     I don’t have the energy level like I used to, although I like to “keep busy” most days. I attend daily Mass, make visits to the Blessed Sacrament later in the day, spend time with those I love, and read occasionally. I make time to write, usually each week, which I positively love. It is my way of sharing my relationship with God with others and hopefully, helping them to grow more in love with Him. 

     Maybe at some point, when I began to have the “luxury” of making choices with my time, I feared that since my duties had decreased, so would my worth…which is something that is absolutely, positively wrong!!! But is it something that somewhere in my being, I may struggle to believe about myself.

     I have a very dear friend, who is a good bit older than me. The last number of years she has declined in her ability to do things. She has a good bit of health issues, and her energy level has diminished remarkedly. She feels frustrated with herself often and her inability to do the ordinary things, as well as the spiritually devotions that were always a big part of her life. 

     She loves God with a deep love and “beats herself up often,” for not being able to attend Mass most times and receive Jesus in Holy Communion. She attended daily Mass and was involved in her parish for most of her adult life. Maura has shared with me the fact that she feels upset because she is no longer able to give to God what He deserves. This creates a deep sadness and void in her life now. Yet these losses are the crosses God has allowed to enter her life at this point…I KNOW she didn’t go looking for them!

     “And when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” John 21: 18.

     When I think about my friend and how Papa sees her, all of my thoughts about striving and trying to make myself holy vanish! God is delighted with Maura! He is crazy in love with her, even though she cannot see it. He loved her when she could do it all, and He loves her still! 

     She is doing all that she can. Some days she is able to do a little more than others. On the days she cannot, she does her best to offer that to Him as a gift. It is not what she wants to give, but it is the gift that God is asking from her.

     Papa has placed Maura before me, to remind me of how much I am loved for myself and not for what I do. I must take a lesson from my friend and accept myself and “my state” in life and do what I can and let go of what I cannot do. I need to be grateful for both. I have to learn to submit with faith and love all the designs of Providence and remember, God has chosen each design as the best way to love and honor Him.

     God has not left me to my own designs but has accompanied all of my life: the very busy years, and the less busy years. One is not more fruitful than the other in the eyes of my heavenly Father. Each design is as He has planned it, for each and every one of us, His children.

     If we surrender and follow His lead, we can be assured we will be sanctified in most exalted manner. No other way is more wonderful and easier than by surrendering to “the simple use of the means that God, the sovereign director of souls, gives us to do or suffer at each moment.”

     Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, please, pray for us!