Embracing Mary, Christ's Gift from the Cross

      “Let us ask the Lord to grant us one very special grace: To love Our Lady, especially through all the work we do for Jesus, with Jesus, and to Jesus. We must ask Him to deepen our love for Mary, making it more personal and intimate. We want to: Love her as He loved her. Be a cause of joy to her as He was. Keep close to her as He did. Share everything with her, even the cross, as He did when she stood near the cross on Calvary. We must love her unconditionally, trust her fully, abandon ourselves to her totally and without reserve. Nothing is impossible to those who call Mary their mother. During the day, let us often raise our hearts to her to ask her how we can love God as she loved Him, that we, too, can love Him with her heart."                                                                                                                           Saint Teresa of Calcutta

     As I read this request of Mother Teresa’s, a smile came to my face. 

     It is my humble belief, that my dear sweet Jesus, granted me this very special grace.

     My earthly mother had a deep love and a great devotion to our Blessed Mother. Before each of her five daughters were discharged from the hospital, we were placed on the altar and dedicated to Our Lady. We each had some derivative of Mary in our name. Our mom also promised to dress us for the first seven years of our lives, in blue and white only…yes, play clothes, dress clothes, bathing suits, every stich of clothing we wore for seven years!!!

     This was a great sacrifice and I’m sure at times, a burden, to keep this promise, but our mother kept it. We were not always happy about it when a beautiful pink, or any other color of dress was passed by because it was not blue. But truth be told, I am so very grateful to my mom for saying yes to Our Lady and placing our dedication to Mary above my mom’s inconveniences and static that it caused her.

     So, from my earliest years, Mary has played a big role in my life. I have loved her for as long as I can remember and she has had a place in my heart for what seems like forever.

     Next to learning the sign of the cross, the Hail Mary, was probably the first prayer that I learned to pray. Every year, the May procession was always something I looked forward to attending, even as an adult. 

     From sixth to tenth grade, I believed that Our Lord and Our Lady were calling me to become a Carmelite nun. Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, became for some time, the Queen of my heart. During my sophomore year in high school, it became clear my vocation was to marry and become a wife and mother. Years later, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel once again, invited me to consider becoming a Carmelite. I pursued the idea and professed my final promise a year and a half ago, as a secular Carmelite. 

     Our Lady of Lourdes was also a favorite devotion of mine: I often envied St. Bernadette for her intimacy with Our Lady. Unlike many of the children who were visionaries, Bernadette had Mary all to herself. 

     When I became a mother, Mary became even more vital to me. I too placed my children on the altar and dedicated them, my boys, as well as my daughter, to Our Lady before leaving the hospital. None of them wore blue and white only though.

     Mary was my “go to” person, especially as a new mother. I was surprised by the fact that at times, I was very insecure and uncertain. Our Lady of La Leche, “Our Lady of the Milk and Good Delivery,” was my intercessor, until I became confidant at breastfeeding: nursing my next four children was a cinch!

     Our Lady of Nazareth, the everyday, down to earth title of Our Lady, was one I could truly relate to on a daily basis. 

     Mary was home with Jesus and St. Joseph, living what appeared to their neighbors as a normal Jewish family. She had to cook, clean, garden, wash clothes, go to the well to fetch water and of course, most especially, take care of Jesus as He grew. She interacted with her neighbors, prayed and worshipped God, both at home and at the synagogue. She and Joseph taught Jesus many necessary things, like any parent would, and prayer was a part of that. They were probably seen as very ordinary, and not the Holy Family they we often imagine in our minds. But they knew they were raising God Himself, and most likely prayed for the grace and strength to do their best.

     Raising our children, was something that Jon and I too, depended upon God’s grace, as well as Mary and Joseph’s intercession to try to do our best. Marriage and raising our children were our primary vocation, and we too knew we could not do it without heavenly assistance. God was depending upon Jonathan and I, to not only teach our children everyday matters, but to love Him as well.

     While my husband was at work, I was at home caring for our children and our home. I often prayed for the intercession of Our Lady to do all this very ordinary but essential work, for the glory of God. It helped me to get passed myself during challenging times, and do my best with love, as Mary had done.

     When our children were old enough to go to school, asking Our Lady to be their mother, away from home, was a great comfort for me. I could not be there for them, and she could, along with their guardian angel.

     The rosary was part of my life as a youngster, but at some point, it lost its attraction to me. In my early twenties, a cousin invited me to reconsider praying it once again. She shared with me her great love and the power of the prayer. I began and Our Lady of the Rosary lassoed me by the heart. I pray it daily, often all four mysteries. It anchors me like nothing else. 

     When the seas of life turn particularly turbulent, I then run to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, praying the rosary novena. I have found it to be an even more powerful tool when things seem desperate. It brings peace and hope to my mind and heart.     

     As an adult, I made the St. Louis de Monfort consecration to Our Lady and renew it every year since. I was also blessed to do Father Gaitley’s consecration to Mary with family and friends, on two separate occasions, growing more and more in love with our good Mother. 

     Thirty years ago, a friend taught me a prayer she prayed when she received Jesus in Holy Communion: “My Jesus, I give You Your Mother. Dear Mary, I give you your Son. May Your hearts become one with mine, so I may give Your love, joy and peace to all I meet.”

     I have prayed that prayer since and believe that it’s very efficacious. I added a prayer to pray before I receive Jesus to ready my heart: “Papa, please forgive me for any way I have offended You. My dear sweet Jesus, please forgive me for any way I have offended You. My beloved Sasha, please forgive me for any way I have offended You. Please St. Joseph, come into my heart and clean any clutter like you did at the stable so very long ago. Please sweet Mother, come into my heart to make it a worthy place for Jesus to come and rest.”  Our Lady of the Eucharist, please intercede that our hearts may become ready to welcome your Son, Jesus.

     One evening, about six years ago, while meditating on St. John’s wedding feast of Cana, I felt inspired to pray to Our Lady and ask that she intercede for my marriage. I felt as though my husband and I could use a bit of a boost. I began to ask Our Lady of Cana to go to Jesus and ask that He change the “water of our marriage into a deep rich wine.” 

     What I did not realize was that making wine requires the crushing of grapes. Although at times it was painful in the dying to self that needed to occur, it was more than worth the results Mary’s intercession brought about. 

     Our Lord and Our Lady have outdone themselves: “They have saved the best wine until now,” and for that I am eternally grateful.

     I do not know what my life would be like without my heavenly Mother’s intercession all of these years. I go to her for so many things as Mother Teresa suggests above. I often pray a short and simple prayer that Mother Teresa prayed: “Mary, be a Mother to me now,” along with her famous Memorare flying novena: Nine Memorares in petition and one in thanksgiving. Both those practices bring me peace and are like an arrow shot from my heart to my “Mama’s.”

     I am enthralled with the fact that our Mother Mary has a very unique relationship with the Blessed Trinity: Daughter of God the Father, Mother to God the Son, and Spouse to the Holy Spirit. Mary has an intimate relationship with each Person of the Trinity. She is truly the perfect disciple to imitate and intercede for us on our journey back to heaven. Mary is the one who can teach us to love her Son as we should and please God, one day, give us her heart to love Him as she does. 

     My prayer right now is that she will lead me and teach me to recognize the voice of her Spouse, the Holy Spirit. I want to give “Sasha,” as I call Him, the recognition for the work He is accomplishing in my life. I do love Him so much more than before, and my relationship with Him has grown, but not to the intimate level I would like. He may be the One who has placed this desire to know Him better on my mind and heart.

     And who is better to assist me, than His Spouse, Our Blessed Mother, to direct me on the quest to know and love Him more.

     Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, help me to know and recognize Sasha’s inspirations and voice. May I grow more in love with all the Blessed Persons of the Trinity and hold them all close in my heart.

     I am not sure where you are in your relationship with Our Lady, but please, accept this invitation from Mother Teresa, along with myself, to imitate her Son, Jesus, by loving Mary and welcoming her more deeply into your life and into your heart. She is the gift He gave to us from the cross. Dying people bequeath their treasures to their love ones. Treasure this gift from Jesus. Your life will be forever changed for the better. 

     Mary always brings us to her Son, Jesus.

     Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.