Thorns Among the Roses -- Part 1

     Although my heart was filled with gratitude for our wonderful anniversary celebration, my mind was focused on my sister Sarah and her deteriorating condition. 

     We were able to spend quality time with her the day after our party, thanks to my sister Rachel, who opened her home to us. Sarah seemed fragile and weak. She was still experiencing severe side effects from the chemo and was trying her best to be present to us. I again thanked Sarah and her husband for coming and expressed my great concern for her.

     It was difficult saying goodbye, not knowing when I’d see her again.

     When they left the following day, her condition had not improved, in fact, once home it continued on the downward spiral. Because of her feeling so badly, speaking with her was not an option. Several days later, she was admitted to the hospital for a few days and our concern increased. Although we were kept in the loop by Sarah’s family, it was difficult being so far away.  After Sarah was discharged, her condition prevented her from talking on the phone and texting: something that were so much a part of who she was. It seemed like God was weaning us in preparation of what was to come. It appeared as if Sarah was disconnecting from us and the world.

     I was trying my best to focus on the pilgrimage, Jonathan and I would be taking in less than 3 weeks. There was so much I needed to do to get ready, but I was feeling fearful Sarah would die, either before we left, or while we were there. It was a great worry!

     I knew that Sarah would want Jonathan and I to go. She was very excited about it and would not want us to miss it. Thanks be to God, she started to improve…. little by little. She was able to talk on the phone again and began to send her usual texts. “Thank You, God! Thank You! Now, please keep her with us during our pilgrimage. Please!”

     The day before we left Sarah had a pet scan to see what was happening with her condition. She had pretty much decided that she would not take any more chemo because of the terrible side effects, but would make her final decision when the results were in. I spoke to her several times before we left, and she assured me we would talk while I was away. She was excited to accompany us virtually by viewing our photos as we traveled and insisted that I post them daily. I assured her that I would and would visit with her in person when I returned.

     Jon and I departed for the trip of our lifetime! We arrived in Lisbon, Portugal. It had many similarities to San Francisco: very steep hills, trolley cars, and a suspension bridge. Belem Tower was a fortress, built in the 16th Century, which guarded the entrance to the Lisbon harbor. We visited St. Jerome’s Monastery, famous for a secret recipe of a custard pastry that is world renown, of which we got to sample. The recipe was given to the owners of a bakery nearby where they still make it today. We ended our day with Mass in a Church that was built over the home where St Anthony of Lisbon was born—we call him St. Anthony of Padua!

     The next day we traveled to the church of St. Stephen in Santarem. We were blessed to attend Mass there. This church contains a Eucharistic miracle which occurred in the 1200’s. A woman whose husband was unfaithful to her went to a sorcerer to get a magic potion. The potion would make her husband love her again. She was told to get a consecrated Host and bring It back to the sorcerer. The woman took One from her church, placed It in a handkerchief and It started to bleed. Because this frightened the woman, she placed It in a chest in her home. The Host began to emit a bright light from the chest and angelic music was heard by the woman and her husband. She contacted the priest of the parish, and they processed back to the church with the miraculous Host! We had the great privilege to venerate the miraculous Host and it is something I will forever cherish!

     The following day we visited Fatima, where Our Lady appeared to three peasant children in 1917. The children’s names were Lucia, who was ten years old, and her cousins, Francisco, nine, and Jacinta, seven. We visited their homes, the apparition sites, their parish church, where our priests celebrated Mass. We then went to the cemetery where Francesco and Jacinta were first buried. After dinner, we walked to the apparition chapel where we prayed the rosary. We also experienced the beautiful procession with the statue of Our Lady of Fatima, followed by hundreds of pilgrims with lighted candles. The apparition chapel was donated and built by the Russian people. It contained wood that was sent from the Siberian Forest. It was so thrilling to be near the very spot where Our Lady appeared and a feeling of awe, reverence and excitement filled our hearts!

     The next day we attended Mass at the apparition chapel. We visited the Basilica of Our Lady of the Rosary where the visionaries are buried and the Blessed Trinity Basilica, which holds around 8,000 people, and was built in later years, as the crowds increased. We visited the museum which housed thousands of donations of jewelry, wedding dresses, and all sorts of things, given in thanksgiving to Our Lady for receiving special blessings and healings. We then participated in the Hungarian Stations of the Cross; a two-and-a-half-mile paved path, with beautiful statues to mark each station.

     After dinner, we attended the rosary and procession once again…. Soaking it all in and thanking God for this wonderful opportunity.

     When we arrived back in our room, news about Sarah’s update was waiting for me. Her cancer had spread to many new sites and had increased in some previous sites. This confirmed her decision to stop chemo. She wanted to choose quality of life over quantity. She was at peace with her decision and wanted to live her life as full as possible to the end.

     My heart was breaking! I knew it this time would come someday, but now confirmed, made it real. I cried myself to sleep and felt heavy hearted the next day. We had a five-hour bus ride to Salamanca, and I was happy for the time to just sit and not really have to talk with anyone. When we finally reached our destination, I took a deep breath and prayed to be truly present and do my best to enjoy myself.

      One of Salamanca’s claims to fame is having the oldest university in Europe, which still operates to date. It is a beautiful town with a very large and lively town square. College students bustling about and two Cathedrals next to one another. The old one, built in the 12th century, and the new one, in the 17th century! There were many shops, and restaurants, and more churches. We attended Mass at St. Juliana’s. I offered my Mass for Sarah.

     After dinner, I was blessed to Facetime with Sarah. She looked and seemed really good! We talked about her update, and she believed she was doing what was best. Although she was going on hospice, she was determined to live life as fully as possible. She reminded me to schedule a trip to visit her when we returned home. She was also very happy about our pilgrimage so far and was thoroughly enjoying the photos we’d taken. She felt like she was traveling with us and asked questions about here, there and where we were going next. Our next destinations were Alba de Torres and Avila, Spain, places that were associated with St. Teresa of Jesus. I am a secular Carmelite and Sarah was very excited for me. I was so delighted to see her face and speak with her, and she promised we’d talk in a few more days. We finished our conversation, and I felt relieved, believing that I'd see her again. I slept better that night and felt able to look forward to our next destinations.

   To be continued!