Confessions of a 'Seasoned' Mother -- Part 2

     I felt perplexed, like knowing the answer to a crossword puzzle but not being able to spell the word correctly. Wasn't my goal in raising our children to help them become independent and responsible adults? It appeared as if I had succeeded, so why did I feel so badly?

     When my children were little, there were times I would have loved to have some quiet time and not be needed so much. Back then, I looked forward to ‘the time’ when my husband and I would have more time together and we wouldn't always be taking the back seat. What about my relationship with God? Getting up at dawn for some quiet prayer could now be moved to a later time, if I so chose. I needed to look at the positive side in this situation. Be grateful for the past; but move on to the present. When you’re talking about your feelings, it is easier said than done, so I continued to beseech God to give me an insight into my dilemma.


     One day, quite unexpectedly, a memory of my son came into my mind. He was four years old; my sister, her one year old daughter, my son and I were all out together.  My son, a beautiful little boy, was used to receiving a great deal of attention from all. This day however, the sweet little baby was getting all the attention. My poor little guy was hopping on one leg, and doing other activities to get recognition from those who were making a fuss over my pretty little niece. They finally realized what he was doing and began to give him the attention he thought he deserved.

     In an instant, God helped me to see that I was acting as my little boy had many years ago. I was used to receiving attention and love from my son and now I was acting like a little child. My focus was on myself and my disappointment with how I thought things should be. God allowed me to see that just as the people had not snubbed my son so many years ago, that now, in my son’s new situation, I was not being forgotten. This was, in fact, a normal course of events that happens in our lives.

     Praise God! I knew He had given me a special grace and insight into a situation that I could not overcome myself. I now felt free, in a situation that had imprisoned me in fear and I expressed my heartfelt thanks to God.

     Now when devastation settles in my heart, the ability to recall God’s previous gift of enlightenment, helps to reassure me, that all will be well. Also, I have found the quicker I share with my husband and get his perspective, the sooner I see clearly.

     I have come to know that even a ‘seasoned’ mother has a lot to learn. Just as our experiences of motherhood have changed as our children grow from babies, to toddlers, to teenagers and young adults, so does our ‘mothering.’ We need to be present to ‘the now’ and adjust our compasses to stay on course. Our God is there to help us by pouring down the graces we need to be the best mothers we can be. It helps to remember that God is the One who gave us our children in the first place; He knows exactly what we need. The trick then is, not to get in His way.