Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Bless Them; Change Me

     I was puzzled and struggled within myself because I just didn't seem to be able to navigate in peaceful waters with several relationships.  If I zigged, I should have zagged. If I spoke, I should have kept silent. It seemed that whatever I said or did was misconstrued, in ways never intended. I was frustrated and confused because my aim was to love, appreciate and enjoy, but the fruits were found wanting.

     Thanks be to God, the time came for me to see my spiritual director. This would afford me a safe and private place to voice my concerns and receive the grace and good counsel I was now lacking.


     As I opened my heart to Father, he listened intently. He made no judgment of who was right or who was wrong. He told me that I could not change anyone other than myself. God is the only One who really knows the in’s and out’s of our lives and the wounds from which we operate.  He assured me that God was using these very situations to perfect my love to be more like His. I was to continue in my efforts to love, whether it was reciprocated or not – whether it was accepted or not.

     It was now time for me to bring all of the darkness of my heart into the light of God’s grace by receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. After confessing my sins and imperfections, Father told me to pray, “Bless them; change me,” for my penance. I was to say and pray it each time I thought about the persons or situations with which I was struggling. He told me that I could turn the temptation of ‘playing all of those negative tapes’ in my mind, into a prayer instead.

     It made sense. “Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good (Romans 12 vs 21). Although I knew it would be difficult, I could intellectually see how doing this ‘exercise’ could diffuse the negativity and hopefully in time, become second nature to me.

     I took Father’s advice to heart and did exactly what he told me. I can’t pretend that it felt ‘natural’ as I began to pray, “Bless them; change me.” This prayer is so counter to what we want to do. There were days that it was prayed a hundred times through grinding teeth, and days when it was prayed with far less difficulty.

     I found that by praying that prayer, peace would eventually be restored to my heart and I was not trudging around in noxious waste. It was not long before I saw the fruits in my own heart and the power this prayer contained. Holding onto hurts and misunderstandings is not something that God wants for us. I was given an extraordinary tool to use to overcome this temptation.

     It was not long before I began to share this gift with both family and friends. They in turn, shared it with many. It became something I began to use in everyday annoyances: getting cut off in traffic – bless them; change me . . . Someone in the supermarket express line with a large order – bless them; change me . . .  a telemarketer calling at dinner time – bless them; change me. It’s something we could pray a million times a day and if we did, it could very well change the face of the earth!

     There are still times in my life when I run into rough seas while navigating relationships, but I now have a valuable tool with which I am familiar.  The Evil One wants to trap and keep us in dangerous riptides. Do not give him that power by holding onto hurts and resentments. Open your heart and mind to the grace of God and repeat, as many times as needed – “Bless them; change Me!”

     “Bless them; change Me,” will become your compass and map in navigating toward peaceful waters.
   

   
   
   
   
   

2 comments:

  1. Amen!!!! A very wise person shared these words of wisdom with me quite some time ago. I can't say I "always" use them, but you are correct Avia Joy, they are an extrordinary tool and an invaluable gift! Now to try it in traffic and with telemarketers, hmmm!

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  2. I found this post from a Google search for "Bless them, change me". I just wanted you to know that it was very encouraging, even 6 years later! I look forward to reading more of your blog!

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