Become Broken Hearted

     “This Heart is a pierced Heart. Jesus stands before us with a pierced Heart. We have seen how knowledge of God has always cost; the human heart has to be broken open before it can receive God, and thus it was with Jesus. And the deepest mystery of all is that we learn that the Father’s own Heart is pierced.
     How can we enter into this pierced Heart? Only by becoming like it, living in love at whatever cost, paying the high price of loving. Too easily we assume that loving is a pleasurable experience. Most surely it is the only sweetness in life, but this must be understood correctly. True love is always bleeding in our mortal life. You cannot have love in this life without pain.
     Just think of our own way of carrying on. We get hurt, offended. . .what do we do? Shrink into ourselves, erect all sorts of barriers. Our heart has withdrawn from the one who hurts us in any way. We mustn’t be hurt, “I matter,” our poor ego cries. But that is not how Jesus loves. If we would be like Him, we must struggle to the death with all this, refuse to curl up, refuse to withdraw in the slightest. We must go on exposing ourselves, giving ourselves, pouring ourselves out.
     We say we want to love, we want to serve, we want to give ourselves, and at bottom we are saying we want selfish satisfaction. We want to feel we matter, are important, we want to feel fulfilled; in other words, we are using others, and the beautiful concept of love is being abused. Love is selfless. The way into the Heart of Jesus is not through intellectual insight, not through glowing emotion, but through learning to pay the cost of pure love. There is sacrifice involved in letting others be themselves.”                                                                                      Sr. Ruth Borrows, O.C.D.



     As I read Sr. Ruth’s words, a memory stirred in my heart.

     “Your mission is to be the Wounded Heart.”

      I sat there many years ago, trying my best to absorb Father’s words and internalize their meaning.

A Contrite Heart

     “Avoid the little faults. Ask Me to help you to see them more clearly, in their true light, like a window in sunshine. You will not dare repeat them; you will be on the watch not to repeat them; you will be on the watch not to hurt Me. And when you notice you have done wrong, you will ask Me to forgive you. My heart has seen everything and is ready to forget, because it listens to your words of distress and humility. Oh, the power of repentance! The sacrifice that pleases Me is a contrite heart.”                                                                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                  Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis

     For months, I have been struggling with overcoming the imperfections, which God has been pointing out to me.

Gifts from the Beloved

     “My Child, please understand that the trials I send you are made to measure, exactly fitted to your power to bear them. They are favors that draw you nearer to your Beloved. Thank Me for a little trial as though it were a flower placed with tenderness on your heart by your Fiancé. Always humble yourself as if you had deserved to suffer. I am all innocence, yet I suffered everything imaginable. I will use everything for your sanctification. Do not be afraid of trials. They only help you go higher. They make you love Me more.”                                              
                                                                                               Our Lord to Gabrielle Bossis


     When I read these words of Jesus to Gabrielle, I realize how far I am from reaching holiness!

     I do not see trials as flowers placed upon my heart by my Beloved. They do not feel like they are measured to fit perfectly, but often, more than I think I can bear. They do not increase my love of God, but make me question His love. When trials strike, my heart is filled with fear. I don’t believe I deserve this particular suffering. It is not causing me to move higher, but is pulling me down instead!

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

     I don’t often pray for fair weather, but in this situation, I felt as though I should.

     We had planned an “end of summer BBQ” and had chosen the day which would work best for us to host.

     Several days before the event, while heading into the chapel, I received a text from one of the guests: Would you consider changing the date because the weather was not going to be nice on Sunday? Monday was going to be sunny and hot. The children would enjoy themselves much more if they could go swimming in the nicer weather.

Come to His Well

     “Action relies upon contemplation for its fruitfulness; and contemplation, in its turn, as soon as it has reaches a certain degree of intensity, pours out upon our active works some of its overflow. And it is by contemplation that the soul goes to draw directly upon the Heart of God for the graces which it is the duty of the active life to distribute. As so, in the soul of a saint, action and contemplation merge together in perfect harmony to give  perfect unity to his life,"                                                                                  Dom Jean-Baptist Chautard   


     I was not quite forty, but as a stay at home mother of five, I was feeling somewhat weary and tired! The giving and doing seemed endless! I wondered at times how I could continue at this pace.
I was serious about my relationship with God and longed to become the woman that God was calling me to be. I just wasn’t sure how to go about doing it. It was at this time in my life when I was blessed with a spiritual director.

Listen to Him

     “Jesus took Peter, James and his brother John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And He was transfigured before them; His face shone like the sun and His clothes became white as light. And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, conversing with Him. Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, ‘Lord, it is good we are here. If You wish, I will make three tents here, one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.’ While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them, then from the clouds came a voice that said, ‘This is My Beloved Son, with Whom I am well pleased; listen to Him.’ When the disciples heard this, they fell prostate and were very much afraid. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, ‘Rise, and do not be afraid.’ And when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone. As they were coming down the mountain Jesus charged them, ‘Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.’”                                                                                                      Mt 17: 1-9                                                                                                                                                                       


     As I went about cleaning my upstairs, my thoughts were riveted on this scripture reading.
    
     It had been quite some time, since I have had a “Tabor” experience. I was most definitely down from the mountaintop, as I forced myself to perform the duty that lay before me.

An Awakening

     “We can trust our Lady’s love for us and her knowledge of God. The woman who says, Do whatever He tells you, is the girl who sang the Magnificat, rejoicing that her Son had come for our joy, and this first miracle, symbol as it is of Christ’s life in us, was not a miracle related to suffering, but one designed to give an increase of joy to the people already rejoicing. That good wine is a symbol of Christ’s life in our soul, changing our tepid, colorless human nature to the strong life-giving humanity of Christ, and giving it the power to invigorate others, to warm their hearts and minds, to kindle the life in them with Christ’s love, just as wine given to a cold weary person tones up the blood in their veins.”    
                                                                                                             Caryll Houselander


     Late last January, after meditating on the reading of the Wedding Feast of Cana, I prayed and asked Our Lady, to BEG Jesus to turn the water of my marriage into a deep rich wine. Having been inspired to make this prayer, I FELT CERTATIN that God would answer it. I just wasn’t sure how.