The way it shapes my life

     I can't even fathom, nor would want to imagine, what my life would be without God and my Catholic faith! The impact they have had, has been all encompassing. . .most especially in my adult years. I don't believe I would be the woman I am today without them.

     I have been shaped, formed, and stretched in ways that I would not have chosen on my own. I have been called to love, when I would have preferred to lash out; to seek forgiveness; when I did not think I was the guilty party; to give, when I just did not feel like it. I am called to love others as God loves me, which will be a challenge until the day I die - it may kill me trying to do that!

     Christ calls us "to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect," and even with the grace of God, it is a battle that I fight almost every minute of the day. The good news is that God has not left me on my own, but has placed me in His Catholic Church to be nourished, guided and taught. The realization of my dependency on the graces of Christ and His Sacramental Church, did not hit home until my adult years when my relationship with God had deepened. I began to see the ways that I needed to change to grow in holiness and knew I could not do it on my own, but would need a support system which the Church provides.

     I began by immersing myself in the liturgical rhythm of the church, by reading the scriptures which were proclaimed each day at Mass. God's Word challenged me to become more Christ-like and begin in earnest, a journey toward striving to live God's will more fully. I discovered many areas in my life where change was needed and was called to die to my own will, in order to make room for God's. To move in this direction, it became apparent, that I needed the extra graces I would derive from more frequent reception of Holy Communion, as well as the Sacrament of Penance. This played a pivotal role in the progress I made and helped me to move in the right direction. With the added graces from the Eucharist, as well as looking deeply into my actions and motives in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I slowly began to change and move toward the image that God had of me.

     Like a Master Sculptor, God has an image of the woman He has called me to be from all eternity. There are times when I have cooperated with this His grace and have moved in that direction, and times when I have turned my back on His grace and sullied that image. But He is a good and patient God, and eventually helps me to see my misstep and repent. In spite of my own sinfulness, woundedness, and shortcomings, God continues to pour His love and graces into my soul to help me overcome my weakness and cling to Him.
   
     It has been more years than I can remember that daily Mass and, at least, monthly confession has been part of my life. I still struggle with sin and imperfections but my eye is on the prize and, at this point, I am getting too close to the finish line to slack off. I know that there are still so many ways I need to grow and change to become the woman God has called me to be, but with the help of His grace and the aid of His Church, I will persist in my quest.

     It is my hope to be able to join St. Paul in saying,  "I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance." (2 Tim. 4-vs.7-8)