From Light to Darkness

     “He came to His own, and His own received Him not.” John 1: 11

     I was suffering! Suffering for Our Lord and suffering for myself, or so I thought!

Let Go and Trust

     My husband had been after me for some time to remove the crib from our office. After all, I was not watching any of our grandchildren in our home anymore, and the crib was just taking up space.

     Although what he said was true, emotionally I wasn’t ready to pack it up and give it away. There was a part of me that wanted to keep it up, in the hopes that it would be needed for one of our sweet grandbabies. 

Grief Exposed

      “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, about those who have fallen asleep, so that you do not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, so too will God, through Jesus, bring with Him those who have fallen asleep.”                            1Thessalonias 4:13-14

     I was struggling! I knew Sarah was experiencing eternal life, be it purgatory or heaven, yet I was grieving in a way I had never done before. 

Thorns Among the Roses--Part 5

      It was our last day at Lourdes, and we would begin our day with Mass. It was to be celebrated at the Grotto. My heart was singing: another opportunity to stand in the place where Our Lady and St. Bernadette stood. I had gathered all of my prayer intentions, as well as those of family and friends and would place them in the box at the grotto to be lifted up in prayer. 

No Delays

     I couldn’t believe it! In less than two hours our plane would be back in the United States. My pilgrimage to the Holy Land was now a wonderful memory!

     My mind and heart overflowed with gratitude to both God and my husband Johnathan. It was a dream of a lifetime and it far outweighed my expectations!

Remember and Rejoice

     “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  
                                                                                                            Psalm 118:24


     As I read those words, my heart cringed! I did not greet each day in that manner. In fact, those thoughts do not typically even come to mind most days.

     It pains me to admit my guilt because God is a great part of my life. My day begins with quiet prayer time and then Mass and Holy Communion. It is followed by reading daily devotionals to challenge and cement my walk with the Lord. He is on my mind throughout the day. I converse with Him continually as He journeys beside me. So, of what am I guilty?

     I am guilty of forgetting that the Lord has made this day – each and every day. He is involved with every part of it. It is filled with His presence and His grace. That very fact should cause a deep rejoicing within my being. It should uplift my spirit and give me great confidence and peace. Yet, even aware of His presence with me, there are many days I do not rejoice, nor feel glad!

     Instead, I’m busy doing all the things that need to get accomplish. The “to do” list never seems to shorten. As I’ve aged, I thought life would slow down some, but it has not. Also, as my family has grown, so have the joys and the struggles. The joys I find delightful. It’s the struggles that can weigh me down. Being burdened and busy is no excuse for neglecting to rejoice in God. So, what is out of sync?

     Have I become complacent or begun to take God and His graces and blessings for granted? You know, like after years of marriage, you can sometimes take your spouse for granted and not appreciate them. Have I become so “used” to God that I have stopped seeing all that He does for me? Have I forgotten where I would be without Him? Is it not true, that everything I do can give Him glory and that each task is my to offering to God? This is my path to holiness and heaven, and my life, as crazy and hectic as it is, is my gift to Him – and His gift to me!

     I need to refocus. I have to allow this psalm to become my morning, afternoon and evening prayer. I need to be reminded because I can forget. I want to give God my all, by letting go of my heavy, weary heart. My desire should be to bring God glory, as I accept each day with a heart full of joy. I want to remember each and every day of my life, that He has made this day for me. I need to remember that God is God and I am not. I am not called to solve every problem, nor can I.

     God will be there with His graces to help me to overcome myself, when I get weighed down with the burdens of life. He wants me to rejoice, even when life does not go the way I like. He wants me to trust that He has a plan that will sanctity me, if I cooperate with His graces. He wants me to soak in His love and His graces and not just go through the motions. I need to be aware and awake to God’s goodness and love, and never take it for granted. I long to rest in His love and allow the joy to rise within my heart. I have to trust Him more fully, so I can rejoice and be glad in whatever unfolds in my day.

     Oh my dear sweet God! I do love You so very much, but can be burdened and distracted by the duties and worries of life. Help me to be conscious that this is the day that You have made. Nothing is in it that can separate me from You and the joy You long to give me. Let me rejoice and not allow anything to rob my joy and trust in You. May I always remember that You will provide me with the grace that I need to accomplish Your holy will. Nothing happens from which You cannot bring good. Everything is grace!

     “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope” (Jer 29:11).

Unmet Expectations

     Expectations – We all have them! We often don’t even realize their power over us until they go unmet. Then suddenly they become big and fierce and overwhelming. They knock us to our knees and distort our vision. We begin to look at the world through the lens of our great disappointment and loose our joy!

     Expectations vary: being married, having children, good health both for you and your loved ones, family unity, no drug or alcohol addictions, no financial problems, good and faithful friends, happy marriage, good children, family members practicing their faith, successful careers, vacations, down time, not too much stress, being loved, feeling appreciated, and so on.

     We have expectations of people: how they should act, what they should or shouldn’t say, the level of involvement they should have in our lives, how they should think about matters we see as important, and the like.

          And then we have expectations for specific occasions: good weather, good attendance, everything going smoothly, good health, low stress and a lovely time.

     And lastly, but of vital importance, we have expectations even of God: if He really loved me, my life would be easier, bad things wouldn’t happen, and all would be well!

     Truth be told, our expectations are often unrealistic. We want life to unfold as we imagine it should. When it doesn’t, we feel crushed. We expect others to be and act as we do. When they don’t, we do not understand and don’t even give them room to explain. Our minds are made up. They fell short. Why did we expect more from them? Why did we expect more from God?

     Believing that life should turn out as we would like is ludicrous! We are not in heaven. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. We are not perfect, nor is anyone else. We will be disappointed and will disappoint others. We need to come to grips with the idea that this life is passing. We will have happy moments here, but they will be fleeting. Our goal is heaven where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. Behold, I make all things new” (Rv 21:4-5).

     Heaven is God’s promise to us. It gives us something to look toward when life is difficult and challenging – when our expectations are dashed and we are tempted to allow the evil one to rob us of our joy. We must not give him the power over us and our emotions. We need to remember that if Papa has allowed this particular situation, it must somehow be for our eternal good. We have to look at the whole picture and not just the part that is, in our eyes, out of line with our vision of how life should be. We have to remember that we are a work in progress and if we place our trust in God, these difficult times can make us into saints.

     The saints didn’t start out as saints. They were sinners just like us who just kept trying. Relying on the graces received from God and through His Sacraments, when life’s expectations were not met, they kept believing and trusting in God. They did not allow their disappointments to steer them from their goal of reaching holiness.

     What is another key to being able to trust and surrender to life’s happenings? Through grace you will believe in the goodness of God and trust in His tremendous love for you. Knowing that He will bring good from everything – even the really difficult stuff, is a gift! In our humanity, this is very hard for us to believe, but it’s God’s truth. The saints practiced this truth by thanking and praising God in all things.

     St. Teresa of Calcutta was known for saying, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job1:21). Her trust in God was total and complete. She lived in darkness, yet held fast to God and His goodness.

     Jesus told St. Faustina that when she did not trust Him, it wounded Him deeply. She too was to praise and thank God for everything.

     We can’t forget St. Therese, who wrote in her biography, “Jesus does not demand great actions from us but, simply surrender and gratitude. Has He not said: ‘Offer to God the sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving?” (Ps 49:14).

     Giving thanks and praise to God in ALL THINGS is a tall order! It takes a heroic amount of grace to even entertain the idea of beginning this practice. Yet, I’m weary and tired of allowing the joy that the Lord wants to give me to be stolen. I want to correct my vision and look at life’s situations through the eyes of my heavenly Father. I want to let go of expectations and learn to trust, especially when everything tells me not to. I want to praise and thank God because it will give Him joy! It will show Him just how much I love Him and trust in His great love for me. It won’t be easy, but with the help of God and His great communion of saints, it is possible.

     “Joy isn’t found in the material objects surrounding us, but in the inner recesses of the soul. One can possess joy in a prison cell as well as in a palace (St. Therese).

     Deepen your trust in God. Let go of unmet expectations. Stop the thief in his tracks. Don’t allow him to rob you of your joy. Praise and thank God instead!

     “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thes:18).
 
    
    
    

Do Not Lose Confidence in God

     “Do not surrender your confidence; it will have great reward. You need patience to do God’s will and receive what He has promised.”                                                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 11 vs 35-36



     As I spoke to my spiritual director, he listened attentively. I was sharing with him struggles I was experiencing and how I was at odds with the situations. I wanted so much to be able to “fix” things, but knew I couldn’t. I didn’t understand why they were happening.

Recognize the Gift -- Accept It

     I don’t know about you, but when it comes to the spiritual life, I tend to be a slow learner. But I am blessed to have a “Papa” who loves me unconditionally and is so very patient. He has an image of the woman He has called me to be from all eternity, and realizes that I am a “work in progress.” God usually teaches me a lesson and then uses the events of my life so I can practice each of them – again and again and again – until I finally “get it!” Such was the case this past Advent and Christmas season.

Peace -- Pass It On

     “The peace of our spirit does not depend on the good nature and kindness of other people. Our neighbor’s good nature and kindness are in no way subject to our control or opinion. That would be absurd. The tranquility of our heart depends on ourselves. The ability to avoid anger, with all its ridiculous effects, has to come from within ourselves and not be dependent on the nature of other people. The power to overcome the evil in our character must not depend on some perfection outside us, but on our own virtue.”                                                                      
                                                              St. Jose Maria Escriva



     The “blame game” started long ago in the garden. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. As children of Adam and Eve, it might be a good time to say, “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree!”

There's No Place Like Home

     “What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Cor 2 vs 9).


     As we journey through life, we sometimes forget our eternal destiny. To make the most of our lives, we keep busy trying to fit in all that we can – unfocused on what truly matters.

Come Holy Spirit

     Today is the great feast of Pentecost! We have been preparing by praying the novena to the Holy Spirit in preparation for all the gifts and graces that will be poured into our souls. Let us end this day by praying the Veni, Sancte Spiritus – the Sequence in honor of Pentecost in thanksgiving for the great gift from God -- His Holy Spirit!

Come, Holy Spirit, come!

And from your celestial home

Shed a ray of light divine!

Come, Father of the poor!

Come, source of all our store!

Come, within our bosoms shine.

You, of comforters the best;

You, the soul’s most welcome guest’

Sweet refreshment here below;

In our labor, rest most sweet;

Grateful coolness in the heat;

Solace in the midst of woe.

O most blessed Light divine, 

Shine within these hearts of yours,

And our inmost being fill!

Where you are not, we are naught, 

Nothing good in deed or thought, 

Nothing free from taint of ill.

Heal our wounds, our strength renew;

On our dryness pour your dew;

Wash the stains of guilt away:

Bend the stubborn heart and will;

Melt the frozen, warm the chill;

Guide the steps that go astray.

On the faithful, who adore

And confess you evermore

In your sevenfold gift descend;

Give them virtue’s sure reward;

Give them your salvation, Lord;

Give them joys that never end.

Amen. Alleluia.

Buoyed by Hope

     “Hope is the hand that the Lord gives us when the wind blows against us and obstacles impede the goal. Hope is the final resource the Creator puts at our disposition when we think all is lost. However, to nourish hope we are in need of trust and of living in the present moment.”                                            Pope Francis


     Hope is an invaluable asset given to us by God to assist us on our journey. It is like the light of Earendil, given by Galadriel to Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. “Our most beloved star: May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.” Hope is not wishing on a star, but putting our trust in Someone, realizing that we are loved and known.

That Mary Thing

     My head and heart were in another world, as I strolled through the store. Our parish May Procession had been the previous day and I was overflowing with love for Our Lady.

     The music, the prayers, the multitude of young and old alike, lifting their hearts and minds to God in praise and thanksgiving for His Mother, filled my being with joy! The hymns that were sung stirred childhood memories which brought sweet tears to my eyes. I was grateful to God for the gift of His Mother and the love that we've shared all these years.

Everything Becomes a Grace

     “The most important and most fruitful acts of our freedom are not those by which we transform the outside world as those by which we change our inner attitude in the light of faith that God can bring good out of everything without exception. He is a never-failing source of ultimate riches. Our lives no longer have in them anything negative, ordinary, or indifferent. Positive things become a reason for gratitude and joy, negative things an opportunity for abandonment, faith, and offering: everything becomes a grace.”                                                                                                                                                                                                        Fr. Jacques Phillipe



     That God can bring good out of everything that happens – without exception – is a life-changing attitude to work toward achieving. Father Jacques did not come up with this notion himself. Our good God clearly stated this in His Holy Scripture through St. Paul: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God” (Rom. 8 vs. 28). All does mean everything – without exception – so why do we struggle so much with believing this to be true?

Mary's Gift

     From my youthful years this prayer has held an important place in my spiritual life. The Rosary has accompanied me in moments of joy and in moments of difficulty. To it I have entrusted any number of concerns: in it I have always found comfort.”                                                   Pope John Paul  II


     I remember, as a little girl, kneeling in our living room and praying the rosary with my family. It was not something we did with regularity, but when an urgent event presented itself. As I grew older, although my relationship with Our Lady was still very important to me, my devotion to the rosary dwindled to praying it at “viewings” for deceased loved ones.