No Delays

     I couldn’t believe it! In less than two hours our plane would be back in the United States. My pilgrimage to the Holy Land was now a wonderful memory!

     My mind and heart overflowed with gratitude to both God and my husband Johnathan. It was a dream of a lifetime and it far outweighed my expectations!

     I couldn’t wait to share it with others. I had plans already in place to do so, but for now, I would just bask in the superb memories and tremendous joy that it brought to my heart!

     Although it felt great to be home, I never anticipated the effect of the time change, nor the fact that my hearing was impaired by the flight. After texting loved ones of my safe return, I spent some time with my husband, ate something and napped for a few hours.

     After waking, I proceeded to unpack, gather the wash and get back to “normal.” Little did I realize, normal would not return for some time.

     In the morning Johnathan woke up with the flu, and I woke up with sinusitis. I refused to allow this to get me down. I wanted to share my pilgrimage with others, but my plans quickly changed when two days later, I woke up with the flu! By the way, did I mention it was Ash Wednesday?

     On my plane ride home, I had prayed to God to give me the Lent that I needed. Was this really part of it? Well, it was my reality and God had allowed it, so I surrendered to God my situation and united my suffering with His.

     As the days passed, it almost seemed like the pilgrimage was only a dream. Had it really happened? How could I ever doubt it? I was so glad to have the pictures and journals of each precious moment, because my trip seemed to be nothing more than a faint memory!

     The flu took its toll on me and lasted much longer than I hoped. I had to begin to cancel events where I was going to share my pilgrimage with family and friends. First one, then two, then more. Initially, I was so weak, sick and tired that I didn’t really care, but as the disappointments multiplied, I began to feel like a target and a victim.

     When I had shared with a friend about my husband getting the flu, she causally mentioned how she wondered if it was retaliation from the evil one, for him giving me the pilgrimage as a gift. At the time, I didn’t think too much about it, but as the negative situations increased, I began to wonder.

     It began to feel like an attack. I felt battered, weary and worn out. Events continued to be cancelled, snow storms were happening, and we lose our electricity. Situations were escalating, and I began to question God.

     He answered by jogging my memory. It was at this point this point I remembered the prayer I prayed for Lent.

     “God, give me the Lent I need.”

      This was a prayer that was suggested last year by a priest friend and it was what came to mind when thinking about Lent.

     All of these unfortunate events weren’t about retaliation. It was about me growing in grace and virtue. It was about me seeing myself for what I am and being given the opportunity to change for the better. If Johnathan and I were targets for the evil one, it was only because God allowed it to happen for our good.

     As these thoughts came to mind, I no longer felt like a victim. I was able to reclaim my identity as a daughter of the Most High God!

     Papa had not abandoned nor forsaken me. He, along with my dear sweet Jesus, Sasha, Our Lady, St. Joseph, and the whole Communion of Saints were right here with me. They were and are interceding for me to see the truth, operate in the grace God is giving me and grow in holiness.

     It also made me realize that the fruits and blessings of my pilgrimage will be ongoing. I will see them unfold for a very long time and nothing and no one can keep them from coming to fruition!

     God does want me to share my pilgrimage and my gifts with others, as He sees fit. Once again, I am learning that I do not dictate the time line. He does. It is my job to be open and ready to do what He wants, when He wants it and to trust that with God, there ARE no delays.