These were the words spoken by a priest many years ago, and I was one of the brave ones who decided to give it a try. I’m the kind of person who likes a challenge, so I figured if I was really serious in growing in my relationship with God, what would I have to lose? Besides, I really didn't expect to receive any revelations
I can’t remember if I asked all of my family members, but what I do remember is the answer that I received from one of my sons. He said to me, “Mom, you complain a lot.” When he said it I was taken aback. I wanted to respond to him and defend myself. I wanted to say, “What do you mean I complain a lot? Don’t you think I have plenty to complain about? I don’t have enough time to do all that I have to do. I have five children and your father works a lot – and on and on and on . . .
But I didn't say a word. I remembered what the priest said about not defending yourself, and thought about how much courage it took for my son to be that honest with me. After a brief amount of time, I told him I would think and pray about what he said and thanked him for his input.
Did I really complain a lot? And if I did, did I want that to be one of the memories that my children would have of me? I asked God to help me to truly see myself and bring this behavior to my attention so I could change if necessary.
Well, don’t ask God for something that you really do not want. He was quite good at allowing me to see all of the times I was about to complain. He gave me the grace to bite my tongue and hold back my whining. I have to say, I was very much surprised at how often I wanted to complain about something. If I truly had ‘bitten’ my tongue, it would have been bleeding profusely in the early days of my ‘experiment.’
Little by little, I could see a change in me. I didn't stop complaining altogether, but tried to limit it to really big annoyances and not all the little things that can get on your nerves. I also had a couple of good friends that I could ‘vent’ with, which helped a lot. It also made me much more aware of others who are ‘complainers’ and I felt pleased not to hold a membership in that group anymore.
Old habits do die hard, so there are still times when I complain . . . and go on and on with it. My husband is usually the fortunate one who listens to my venting. It becomes clear when all of a sudden, his reaction shows me that I have been whining and it is a real ‘wake-up call!’
Changing bad habits is difficult, but always a good thing. It makes our lives and those with whom we live much more pleasant. In order to change, we need to know our faults and there is no one more aware of our imperfections than family members. We have to admit we have faults, and once they are identified, work to correct them.
You may or may not want to try this exercise with your family. But if you do, watch out! You just might receive the truth with an answer you didn't expect to hear. But as Father said, don’t respond. Listen, pray and examine – it could well be a call to a deeper holiness in your relationship with God and with your family as well!
They say, "You cant' teach an old dog new tricks", but you have proven that adage to be false. We have to believe that with God's help, we can accomplish anything. What a great lesson in humility as well! Thank you once again for sharing Avia Joy.
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