An awakening

     I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but that wasn't always so. I grew up during the time when weekly confession was expected. The sisters had impressed upon us the need to keep our souls spotless to receive Jesus in Holy Communion and we readily complied.

     After the Vatican Council, it seemed as if we lost our ‘sense of sin,’ so little by little, the time between each of my confessions grew. I reasoned that I really wasn't a bad person and loved God a lot, so I justified my actions as okay. As a young adult, I made sure I made my ‘Easter duty’ and was quite pleased that I made it a priority and was a good Daughter of the Church.


     Somewhere in my adult years, I remember hearing a sermon about the value of monthly confession. Something seemed to resonate in my heart and I approached the priest to see if he could hear my confession. I told him that I knew I was far from perfect, but I wasn't really sure how much I sinned.  I told him that I didn't know if I would have something to confess, if I went that often. He was very gentle with me and suggested that I give it a try. I told him that I would and walked out with a smile on my face knowing I was on the right path.

     When I began going monthly, it was less difficult to examine my conscience. It was becoming clear that the longer I stayed away from the sacrament, the harder it was for me to remember my sins and shortcomings. The more often I went, the easier it was to examine my thoughts, words and deeds, and see where God was calling me to change.

     I also discovered that when I brought the darkness of my heart to the light of God’s grace, I was different – in a better way. The particular situation that I had been struggling with may not have changed, but I knew that God would pour down His grace to help me to overcome myself and respond more as He would. I also noticed ‘graced moments of illumination,’ either from the priests’ good counsel, or from the Holy Spirit, that helped me to see myself, others, or the situation in a new light.

     Over the years, my examination of conscience also changed, from just looking at the Ten Commandments and the precepts of the Church, to more specific faults and weaknesses in my state of life and in my relationship with God and others. I began to look at how I was treating and loving others. Weaknesses that I had never noticed began to jump out at me. Listening to and participating in gossip was not something that I saw as sinful, and suddenly I saw it for what it truly was . . .damaging my brothers and sisters in Christ. Frequent confession helped me to see this and many other failings that previously had been unknown to me. Receiving forgiveness and absolution for my failures was a magnificent gift from God which filled me with peace  and hope.

     Because of my great love for the sacrament, I often encourage both family and friends to participate and receive all the graces and blessings waiting for them. I am delighted when I hear from others how meaningful receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation has become for them and how grateful they are to me for sharing this treasure with them.

     When I think back to that day when the priest gave the sermon about monthly confession, I am forever thankful for hearing those words and responding to God’s grace. It was an awakening and a life changing event for me.

     It is my prayer that you too will see the vast treasure in this wonderful sacrament that Jesus gave us. May it become a joy and comfort to you as you frequent this gift of reconciliation and peace.