God, You Know the Whole of It

      “God’s love calls us to move beyond fear. We ask God for the courage to abandon ourselves unreservedly, so that we might be molded by God’s grace, even as we cannot see where the path may lead us.”                       St. Ignatius Loyola

     God’s love was calling me, no, urging me, to move beyond fear this past month since my husband’s “heart event.” And praise to God, as well as thanks to all those praying for us, I am at peace. 

     As I write this, Jonathan and I are celebrating our fifty-first wedding anniversary. To tell you the truth, it was something I took for granted until last month when I thought my husband had died.

     Having momentarily faced his death, and then a rebirth, I have gotten a new perspective on life…we just don’t know the time or the hour! But the good news: our Papa does. 

     That truth has not ever changed, but it is now emblazed in my mind. God knows the time, place and cause of each of our deaths, so we must truly learn to live fully and abandon ourselves entirely and completely into His most loving hands. It has given me a new urgency not to take anyone or anything for granted.

     “Your eyes have seen my actions; in Your book they are all written, my days were limited before one of them existed.”  Psalm 139:16

     I had no idea that my path, our path, would lead down that scary, traumatic heart stopping event, but God knew. He planned the time and the place and every other detail that transpired. He knew the outcome and had prepared Jon and I beforehand to handle it all.

     The ending could have been so different. Jonathan could have been by himself and not found until it was too late. He could have been driving, swimming, or who knows what? But that wasn’t God’s plan. I was there and thanks be to God, he lived! Instead of the two of us celebrating our anniversary, this would have been quite a different day altogether. 

     Our golden jubilee year ends today. And what a year it has been! Like all of you, we have had our joys as well as sorrows, peak moments and down in the valley moments. Events planned and carried through as well as hopes dashed. All events, which were unknown to us, but known to God, who equipped us with all that we needed to assist us.

     Two friends of ours, gave us the wonderful gift of forty Masses for our golden wedding anniversary. The first forty Masses were prayed last fall, after our anniversary. The second forty began on August 14 and ended today, September 23, our wedding anniversary. I am so very grateful for such a generous and grace filled gift, that it is difficult to express it in words. I feel certain that both sets of Masses were prayed for specific needs that Jon and I, along with our children, their spouses and our grandchildren had. I am quite certain that God knew we needed them and inspired our friends to generously grace us with those most precious gifts. I feel sure that the Masses, along with all the prayers of family and friends have made a world of difference in our lives. And for that I am eternally grateful! 

     Speaking of gratitude, I’d like to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart for your prayers for discernment and direction on our pilgrimage to France. The doctor looked at all of Jon’s heart data and gave us a green flag to go and enjoy ourselves! We are both delighted and looking forward to the trip that almost wasn’t. My heart is singing with joy! We prayed that God would either open or close the door and He has made it quite clear, it is open!!! We will be walking out the door, full of confidence and peace, giving praise and glory to God!

     God willing, we leave October 2 and come home on the 13th. We are both very excited!!! Our pilgrimage is sandwiched between the shrines of St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Denis. In between, we will see many more favorite saints, Therese being # 1! I look forward to sharing it all with you sometime after our return.

     None of our paths are known to us, but the One who is aware of each and every step we will take, is equipping us with the grace necessary to abandon ourselves, unreservedly into His hands. We must never forget that and always remember; we are not alone. God is with us and sends us people to assist us on our path. His love and grace will lead us and guide us, till we are with Him again, one day, in heaven.

     “O Lord, You have probed me and You know me; You know when I sit and when I stand; You understand my thoughts from afar. My journeys and my rest You scrutinize, with all my ways You are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know the whole of it. Behind me and before, You hem me in and rest Your hand upon Me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; too lofty for me to attain.”                                                Psalm 139: 1-6