Total Abandonment

     “To us, weak creatures, the idea of a complete, final surrender often is frightening, but that is because we do not know God well enough. The fact is that God’s will for us is always for our happiness and when we do surrender to it, it is to our own happiness that we are abandoning ourselves.”       
                                                                                  Caryll Houselander


     Complete and final surrender: we run from it! Since our fall from grace in the Garden of Eden, humanity has always wanted to pick and choose for themselves: Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah, and on and on and on. We think we know what is best for us, and at times, become our own little god, by manipulating events in the direction we see fit. We refuse to accept the reality of our lives and instead, sabotage the outcome. 

    Even when we turn to prayer, somewhere in the back of our minds, we’d like to tell God exactly how to answer. We hesitate to trust and do not want to rely on Gods unknown plans. We recall when in the past, things did not work out as we had hoped. We don’t want to go down that road again, and are tempted to depend upon ourselves.

     The freedom for which we long and yearn, can only be realized when we come to accept and live complete and total surrender to God’s ordaining and permissive will. Jesus lived that way, as did Mary, His Mother, and Joseph, His earthly Father. They knew the Father and His great love for Them. They trusted Him, even when the events in their lives were difficult. They abandoned Themselves, into the arms of the Living God, always recognizing His love and goodness.

     So, how do we, weak and wounded creatures that we are, come to this type of KNOWING God? How do we get to the point of making this radical abandonment and surrender, accepting fully that it is truly for our own happiness?

     Caryll clearly points out to us that our main problem is that we don’t know God well enough. How do we get to know God better? The same way we get to know anyone – spend time with them; talk to them, find out from others about them, look up what you can find out about them, and even look at your own history with that person.

     With God, this could mean spending time in prayer listening; telling Him about yourself and your cares and concerns; reading His Word – discovering God’s faithfulness to us, His people. Read the Gospels. They are chock full of Jesus’ descriptions of the Father. After all, that is Who Jesus came to reveal to us – the face of God!

     Speak with others about God and their relationship with Him, especially people that you believe truly love and know God. Read the lives of the saints; they have so much to share about God. They knew Him intimately and will steer you in the right direction.

     Review your own history with God. Do so with an honest and open mind. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to see the whole picture. It is often the difficult times in our lives when we are stretched, and grow in grace and virtue. During challenging times, we do in fact, become a better person; more compassionate, less judgmental, more loving and understanding. Things may not have worked out as we liked, but as we look back, we see God’s hand in it. He was accompanying us and giving us the grace to get through it.

     Look also for all the ways that God has blessed and graced your life: running water – hot and cold, your Catholic faith, your family and friends, the air you breathe, your house, health, job, vocation, nature, beauty, music, the sun, rain and all that surrounds you each and every day! We often forget to be grateful for these blessings until we don’t have them. We fail to see them as gifts from God.

     If we can look at the whole picture of our lives, good and bad, through the lens of a God who loves us and truly wills our happiness, we will be able to take the first step toward total and complete surrender.

     This won’t come easily, and will take practice, but it will be well worth it, when we are on the road to true freedom!

     So, start out with baby steps. The next time it rains when you were hoping for good weather, thank God! When your mind was set with your own agenda, only to get high jacked by something else, thank God! When you pray and your prayer is not answered as you had hoped, praise God! When every fiber of your being wants something other than you received, bless God. Pray for the grace to be open to His will.  Realizing God’s love for you, ask for the grace to accept the outcome, with trust and abandonment.

     The Holy Family’s life was not an easy one. It was filled with totally unexpected and difficult situations: From the grueling travel to the unwelcoming town of Bethlehem; to becoming refuges in Egypt; dealing with the mundane and trials of everyday living; ending at the foot of the Cross. These obstacles did not impede their love and trust in God’s plan or make Them doubt His love for Them.

     Their focus was on God’s will and not Their own. Their foundation was built on prayer and trust. Their faith in God was unshakeable! Let us pray to the Holy Family for an increase in faith and trust.

     Begin this journey, by relinquishing your own will to God’s. Realize, that ‘it is to your own happiness that you are abandoning yourself.’

     Be not afraid. What is needed here is trust!