Just Surrender

     “Love will consume us only in the measure of our self-surrender.”
                                                                                   St. Therese of Lisieux


     As I read those words, they pierced my heart with a deep wound!

     Even though I yearn for God’s love to consume me, I am still so very filled with self-will! It is evident in the many areas of my life, where I wrestle with God’s plan because -- I want my own way!   

     Why do I think I know what is best? Why can’t I trust completely? Why do I delay in surrendering to our God who is Love?

     As a secular Carmelite, I am about to make my first Promise. As the day draws near, I am getting more excited!

     Being a Carmelite is saying “yes” to self-surrender. Our goal in Carmel is to reach union with God – to be one with Him – in heart and will.

    Looking back at my life, I noticed the times I was able to surrender to God’s will, was often with big concerns: serious illnesses, siblings relocating, moving to a new location, death of parents. It is often the everyday cares and issues that destroy my peace and cause me to question God’s way.

     Thinking about all of this, has made me realize that when I don’t trust, I am looking inward at myself, and not into the heart of a God who loves and cares about me -- A sweet and wonderful God, who knows and sees the whole picture of my life and the lives of those whom I love. He knows each and every person and event which will help shape and form me into the woman He has known from the beginning of time.

     When I begin to feel as though things are not going my way, I need to remind myself that in God's eyes -- they are. God has either ordained the happening or allowed it for my good.

     Knowing this, and accepting and acting upon this, is where the problem lies!

     This is the making of saints. At some point, the saints were able to lay their wills upon the altar and surrender them -- completely to God.

     God calls me to do the same and gives me plenty of opportunities each day to practice. I must remember that He will send the graces to overcome myself, but I need to recognize them and act with these graces.

     Learning to surrender my will to God, will be a lifelong process. There will be times when I will be able to do it, while at other times, I will fail.

     The trick is to keep trying, realizing how very much I am loved by God and how patient He is with me and everyone. I need to be patient with my ability and surrender to God’s timing.

     As I make my promise to God, it is my prayer that He will shower me with abundant graces and favors to overcome myself more readily. I ask for assistance from Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, as well as our patron, St. Joseph and all of the Carmelite saints. It is my hope that the idea of being consumed by God's love, will become a burning flame that will consume my will and purify it in God's good time.

     All will not be easy, but nothing will be lost. Our good God always gathers the fragments and fills the baskets to the brim.