Mounted on Hope

  “No one had a more concrete, practical knowledge of her nothingness than Mary; she understood well that her whole being, natural as well as supernatural, would be annihilated if God did not sustain her every moment. She knew that whatever she had, in no way belonged to her, but came from God, and was the pure gift of His liberality. Her great mission and the marvelous privileges which she had received from the Most High did not prevent her from seeing and feeling her ‘lowliness.’ But far from disconcerting or discouraging her in any way – as the realization of our nothingness and weakness often does to us – her humility served as a starting point from which she darted to God with stronger hope. The greater the higher her soul became, the higher her soul mounted in hope. That is why, being really poor in spirit, she did not trust her own resources, ability, or merits, but put all her confidence in God alone.”                                                                                                                             Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen


     As I read this passage from Fr. Gabriel, it became apparent to me that I am not poor in spirit. I felt a deep sting as this realization struck my heart!

      On some level, I believe that I was growing toward this virtue. I have been making a conscious effort to depend upon God – on His help and assistance. But as I looked at my life, my hopes and desires, it was clear that I do not put my hope and trust in God, but in myself and my abilities.

     I want what I want, when I want it! I am impatient with God’s actions and do not trust His timing. I believe that my plan is better, and do not want to wait. I want to force His hand to act now!

     I feel ashamed as I see pride, rearing its ugly head, in both my thoughts and my behavior. I want to run and hide like Adam and Eve – from God and from others. I expect to be doing better, and that’s a big part of the problem. I have forgotten just who I am: a weak creature and not the ‘Decision Maker’ for the universe.

     I need to learn from my mother Mary, who found her identity in her humility. Her strength was in knowing she could not do it, but God could. She looked to God for everything and did not depend upon herself. Mary was fully confident in God’s plan for her life. Her hope in God was total and absolute!

     “In silence and in hope shall be your strength” (Is 30:15).

     Like our Lady, I too must be silent and place my hope in God. I have to learn to ponder the mysteries of life, as she did, with reverence and awe. I have to believe, as Mary, that what I see is not all that is happening. I have to trust that God is at work and His timing is not delayed.

     Each year as we move from winter to spring, from death to life, from barren to fruitfulness, much had been happening which we could not see. So it is in our lives, and the lives of those whom we love. God is working, but it is not always apparent. But suddenly, like spring, new life bursts forth – and we are amazed!

     As we gaze in awe and wonder, at the new birth spring presents to us, so too, let us ponder all the wonders that God will bring about in our lives. Let us pray to our Lady, that she intercedes on our behalf, for an increase of humility, so we too, may use it as a starting point from which we dart to God with stronger hope!