Feeling burdened and insecure, I had gone to the Adoration chapel to make a visit and seek divine assistance. Later that evening, because of my suggestion, our faith enrichment group was going to read The Flame of Love, an abridged version of Elizabeth Kindelmann’s diary. Although familiar with the FOL Movement since late last spring, I could not articulate much about it, let alone facilitate a study. So why was I going to do it? Although filled with fear and apprehension, it did seem like the next step to take.
I had been introduced to the Flame of Love by a fellow parishioner, the previous May, who asked that I read the book. After fulfilling the request, all I was able to glean from the book were obstacles, sacrifice, suffering and frustration. “I didn’t ‘get it,’” I told my friend. I was unable to understand the message, “the Cause,” the urgency. His response was that this experience was not unusual: be patient and trust that our Lady would make it known to me. While full of doubts, because he seems to be a humble and holy man, I remained open.
Along with reading the book, he asked if I would be willing to introduce the Movement to our parish – that added to my burden.
On the feast of the Assumption of Mary, a Flame of Love conference was held at a neighboring parish. I invited some people from our parish to attend, that way there would be help if I made the decision to become involved. The conference was wonderful, and although I still did not “get it,” something kept pulling me along.
One of the speakers shared that the effect of the Flame of Love had softened his heart towards difficult people. He was now able to listen and not be on the defensive. He was able to see them and love them as Christ does. “Wow, I would love to have that gift!”
Another speaker relayed how it helped release him from different inordinate attachments that kept God from being the center of his heart. “Sounds good to me!” He also spoke of the power of the Flame of Love to blind Satan. This blinding would enable us and our loved ones to be open to grace so we could truly see, and move away from sin. “Sold! Where do I sign?”
I left the conference disappointed that I was unable to attend the leader’s session because of time restraints. While knowing the Flame of Love was something desired for myself and loved ones; I still didn’t know how to explain it. This increased my frustration.
Sometime after the conference, while talking to my friend, I expressed my dilemma of not quite grasping the full picture. He told me to praise God for the progress made and suggested that I read Elizabeth Kindelmann’s full diary. He also thought that praying the rosary with the Flame of Love petition inserted into the Hail Mary, would be helpful, as well as praying about fasting. Elizabeth was asked to fast on bread and water three days a week and devotees are called to strive toward achieving this.
I began in earnest to read, pray and starting fasting once a week. It soon changed to two days and then eventually three. It was urgent prayer intentions that spurred me on. As attacks from the devil arrived in all directions, the supernatural power of prayer and fasting became obvious and more vital.
While not understanding what the Flame of Love is, I could see how much it angered the evil one and how he was trying to keep me from staying the course. Because of the attacks, I reached out to family and friends for prayers and assistance to persevere.
Christmas was behind us and we were into the New Year. As easy as the fasting had been in the beginning, it soon became a challenge on the non-fast days. I was increasing my food intake and felt as if the good of the fast was negated. I needed to stop and reevaluate my pattern before continuing fasting.
I made the decision not to resume fasting until Lent, but this time taking it more slowly. I would fast one day a week, not adding an additional day until I was truly ready. I did not want to set myself up for failure; patience was needed.
In mid January, our pastor agreed to let us have a book distribution sometime in the spring. He suggested that “the team” find out all that we could, to be equipped to answer any questions parishioners may have. We were invited by the Flame of Love core team to attend seven seminars that would explain the Flame of Love. That sounded like a good idea, so we decided to attend.
The seminars were very informative and on the feast of the Flame of Love, February 2, we participated in a beautiful Flame of Love ceremony, in which the Flame was passed on to us. I didn’t feel any different, but knew that feelings weren’t always the most reliable barometer when receiving grace. I needed to walk in faith that if they said I received it, I had.
The seminars extended to another session of teachings. Having promised our pastor that we would find out all that we could, we continued to attend. I could see how some of the people were on fire with the Flame of Love. They were excited and had an enthusiasm I envied. I believed in my head that I received it because I could see small changes in myself. But I could not feel it in my heart, so I was frustrated!
I remained faithful to my commitment and continued to pray and fast. Still filled with doubt, I asked God and our Lady to let me know if I “had it.” The answer placed on my heart was, “to walk by faith and not by sight.” Great, I thought. Well, I’ll just continue to take the next step and do what is asked of me.
The next thing needed was to get help with the parish book distribution in the spring. “Maybe I’ll suggest to my woman’s group that we read the Flame of Love – that way we’ll have the extra hands needed at the Masses.” After asking they agreed, so reading the Flame of Love with my group was the next step.
The day had arrived, and we were just hours away from beginning to read the book. I was supposed to be the expert. I had attended many sessions about the Flame of Love, and was now part of the core team, but still could not articulate what it was or be on fire about it. I did not want to let my friends down by my lack of “knowing,” and knew I needed Divine Help.
Sitting before the Blessed Sacrament I began to pray the Flame of Love rosary. I pleaded with Jesus and Mary to help me, telling them I’d do anything that they asked. But I couldn’t be a sales person if I could not articulate the product.
After finishing the rosary, I prayed to St. Joseph. Since it was his feast day, I asked that he give me the gift of the Flame of Love. Just as in Bethlehem so many years ago, he and Mary looked for lodging for Jesus; I was opening my heart to receiving Jesus, the Flame of Love.
A thought came to my mind after making my plea. “Why don’t you see if they have the Flame of Love book here and take a look at it? It would be a good way to prepare for this evening.” I had no idea if the book would be there, since this was not my parish. Walking over to the little stack of books, there it was! I picked it up and asked St. Joseph to open my eyes and heart and began to read the last section of the book. I couldn’t believe my eyes! The words were flowing from my eyes to my heart. “Why didn’t I see this before?” I then began reading the front section and the same thing happened. I felt like the disciples on the road to Emmaus. “Were not our hearts burning within us? (Lk. 24 vs. 32).
The confusion, the obstacles, the suffering and sacrifices that Elizabeth had experienced, all made sense to me now. Jesus and Mary were entrusting her with a powerful mission for the salvation of souls and they would use all of this to both purify Elizabeth and bring about the Cause!
Oh my dear sweet Jesus! Thank you! Thank you Mary! And most of all, thank you dear St. Joseph! In an instant, my eyes were opened. I was like the blind man who could now see and wanted to shout out to the world the Good News! I knew that I was changed deep within and would now be able to accomplish the mission that God had placed upon my heart.
When I look back to that blessed day, March 19, the feast of St. Joseph, I sigh deep within, in awe and wonder of the way God works in our lives. Sometimes the road is clear and there are not too many obstacles. Other times, it is like walking in a dense fog, depending on God’s light to reveal the next step.
God knows each of us and the best way to bring us to holiness. He will give us the grace to achieve any task He has set before us, but we must do our part and be open to the grace to walk in His holy will, especially when the road is unclear. We must surround ourselves with holy men and women of faith so we can “stay the course.” I thank God for those people He placed in my life so that I would not miss out in receiving this awesome grace, the Flame of Love, for myself, and hopefully in the future, for my loved ones.
Cheering as Satan is blinded and we are free to walk in God’s will and grace, I am eternally grateful and humbled for any role I may play in passing the Flame to others. Praise God and His sweet Mother!
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To receive a free abridged version of the Flame of Love go to www.MyConsecration.org
For more information about the Flame of Love go to www.flameoflove.us , divineantidote.wordpress.com and avemariamaternostra.com
Read more about the Flame of Love on Avia Joy - April 17, 2015 -The Flame of Love
April 24 - Our Rose Continues to Open and August 7 - His Deepest Desires
What a beautiful testimony Avia Joy! I have read the book and I pray the Flame of Love Rosary a couple times a week. I am patiently waiting for the burning. I WANT to blind Satan for sure!
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