Come, Lord Jesus

      “Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.” St. Pope John XXIII

     I read this quote and although I recognized it as truth, I could not receive it.

     Discouragement and defeat were taking residence in my soul! I’m not quite sure when it happened, because its arrival was very gradual, yet at the same time when it made its presence known, it was daunting! 

     I was not in a good place! It was Gaudette Sunday and I was supposed to be rejoicing. I was far from a place of joy!

     I didn’t know how it happened. Although I had not been perfect in my Advent promises, I had immersed myself in the rich liturgical scriptural readings of the season. I loved Isaiah’s words, dripping with hope, promise and healing: dead stumps blossoming new life, the calf and the lion browsing together, and feasts upon the Lord’s mountain, as He wipes every tear from our eyes, vanishes death, and saves us!

     I was not lacking in my devotion to God: Quiet time, morning Mass and Holy Communion, a holy hour, morning and evening prayer, and the rosary were all part of my daily routine. I felt grounded by these practices. Like an anchor, they were keeping the little boat from drifting off course.

     So, what happened to cause my little boat to get caught up in the vast open sea? The place where storms rage and waves crash threatening to send you down into the deep, deep abys!

     It began as a little cloud: An incident, a temptation, trying to take away my peace. It did not work. I recognized the culprit and resisted.

     Another cloud appeared. This time darker and more powerful than the last. I was beginning to accept the lies and possibilities, whispered in my ears. Because of my unsettledness, I fell to temptation that evening, trying to soothe myself with a tasty treat. The treat did not take away my angst but added to it because I failed to run to Papa with my concerns.

     As days passed, the boat was no longer held safe, by the anchor, because I was no longer focused as I had been. I was drifting into dangerous waters and unaware of my vulnerable state.

     Another situation presented itself. I was trying my best to keep myself from heading into the storm. I had been in this type of storm in the past, and it had not fared well. I did not want to go there again, and although I tried to turn to God for help, I again, fall temptation to “the call” to take care of myself, and placate my fears instead. I now felt lost and hopeless!

     I had not had the opportunity to speak to anyone about what was happening inside of me. I was a failure! Advent was more than half over, and all I could see was what I did wrong, or how I failed to do what I wanted to do, to ready my heart for Baby Jesus.

     As Providence would have it, my sister Rachael called. We chatted and caught up and then, little by little, I opened my heart to her. I made known to her all the ways I had failed to love God. She told me I was being too hard on myself and that God did not see it that way. She told me that God was saying to me, “Don’t try harder. Just come closer.”

     Rachael’s words were a great balm for my wounded soul! 

    It wasn’t that I wasn’t trying to make Advent a gift for my dear sweet Jesus, it’s just I was trying to do it on my own. I was trying to do it with my power and my pride got in the way, so that when the evil one came along, I fell to his wiles. He knew he could not get me to veer from my daily devotions, so he got me by filling me with fear and using my imagination to fuel it... and I allowed him to do so!

     Advent is far from over and I still have time to do what I can to show Him how very much I love Him. I need to take our holy Father’s advice and focus on what I can do and not on my past failures. 

     So, although for a short time I lost my peace, all is not lost! Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem was not an easy one. It was noisy, and long and cold. Mary was late in her pregnancy and had to feel very uncomfortable up on that donkey! And poor Joseph, walking all that way!

     But their focus was not on themselves. Our Lady carried within her the Son of God made flesh! He moved within her! The Savior of the world that the prophets had spoken about for centuries was in her blessed womb! What was it like for the two of them?

     And then there were the Wisemen from afar, following the star. They did not have Jesus with them, but were hoping to find Him. Their journey was long and at times, very uncertain. But they persevered…even when the star was absent from their sight. The hardships and obstacles did not make them focus on themselves. They believed in “the One,” and took the next step till they reached their destination…a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes who was the Lord of Lords, and the King of Kings!

     In these final days, leading up to Christmas, let us invite the mysterious peace of God into our souls. Let us ride along with Mary on her journey to Bethlehem, feeling the life within her and soaking in His love. As you hold the unborn Babe close, speak heart to heart. Share your joys and your burdens. Tell Him how very much you love Him. Cherish this very special time. 

     Then, talk with Mary. Tell her about your cares and burdens. Share with her your worries but also your dreams. Ask her to tell you about her cares and concerns. Does she have worries about her Son? How does she trust so thoroughly and completely, never losing hope. Ask Mary to pray for you!

     Take time to walk with Joseph. Ask for his advice on your family concerns. Confide in him about your doubts and fears. Listen to what he has to say. He had fears and doubts, but trusted in God’s plan for him, even when it was difficult. Ask Joseph to intercede for you.

     Let’s not forget the men from afar! Journey too, with the wise men. See their tenacity to keep going. Speak with them about how to overcome yourself when “your star” disappears. Seek their wisdom. Ask them to accompany you on your journey through life.

     Now the shepherds were not on a journey to Bethlehem, looking for Jesus. They were doing their job, taking care of the sheep. They too longed for a Savior and prayed for one. Most likely singing songs of praise, lament and joy to God, as their fellow shepherd David had done. 

     God rewarded them for their faithfulness to their call, serving Him as they did in their vocation as shepherd. He fulfilled their longing by sending them angels from on high, to announce the birth of their King! “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is the Messiah of the Lord. And this will be a sign to you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests.”

     When the angels went away from them to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go, then, to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us.” Luke 2: 10-15

     We are like the shepherds…longing for the Lord Jesus to come to us! And like the shepherds tending to their sheep, God will reward us for our faithfulness in fulfilling our vocations and will come and make His home in our hearts. 

     In these remaining days of Advent, let us keep our focus on Jesus, and do everything we have to do as our gift to Him. He doesn’t look at the ways we have failed, but calls us to come closer to Him and touch and heal our wounded hearts.

     Advent is a time when we particularly need to focus on the great love God has for us! Jesus, the Word of God, became a child because this is what Love does! It forgets itself and focuses on the other. Let us use this remaining time focused on our dear sweet Jesus, who wants to make His home in our hearts. May we hold onto this truth and never allow anyone or anything to rob us of the great peace that He wants to bestow upon us!

     Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus! Come Jesus, and live in my heart!