God calls us to love one another as He loves us – totally and freely. We are to let go of expectations of “getting something back” for our efforts, while at the same time, not counting the cost. Naturally speaking, this is impossible! Even on our good days, there is a small part of us that does expect to gain something: love, recognition, a feeling of satisfaction and most probably, gratitude from the recipient.
Loving others with hidden expectations as we live our lives sets us up for great disappointments. People often do not respond the way we expect, so we may feel used and taken for granted. They may not return the love or good deed to us in our times of need. We wait and feel forgotten. Feelings of hurt and resentment build within our minds and hearts. We thought there would be service rendered to us for all that we had given. Our feelings reveal the fact that we had not given freely. We have mistakenly depended upon our own strength to love others. Unmindful of the grace of God we fail to love as God does but as the weak human beings that we are. And so we suffer!
God does not want us to suffer but to lead us to true freedom! What can we do to walk toward the door to freedom? Being aware that we are in debt to God for our very being -- for all that we have and all that we do – is a start. Realizing that He has asked us to prove our love for Him by gratuitously loving our neighbor is one way we can truly give something to God. “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 Jn 4 vs 20).
God lives in each of us! Recognizing God in others, especially those with whom we struggle can be a difficult feat. Blessed Mother Teresa was known for seeing God in each person she met – even when they were wearing a distressing disguise. Mother reminded her sisters time and time again, the words of Jesus, “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of Mine, you did for Me” (Mt 25 vs 40). We need to remember this. It is almighty God with whom we are in contact and serving, be it a loved one or a stranger. We are all God’s children, made in His image and likeness – regardless of the poor way we reflect our good God. Be humble and merciful! None of us are always at our best. We could be the person with whom someone else is struggling to love! When we are struggling to love, calling to mind these words of Christ – you did it for Me -- can
help.
We need to remind ourselves that this is something that God asks of us, and with His help and grace, we will be able to achieve it. Frequenting the sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist, to receive the life of Christ in our soul, will increase our love of God, which should then spill into our neighbor. Spending time with Jesus before the Blessed Sacrament, and soaking in His love, will undoubtedly begin to heal the wounds in our own hearts that keep us from truly loving. Beseeching God to pour His love into our hearts to love unselfishly will help. When we are unable to love our neighbor then we are denying God the love He seeks from us. He wants to perfect our love and will give us many opportunities to practice until we get it right. Let us surrender our wills and our hearts and begin to imitate our God whose name is love.
“O my dear sweet God! I cannot love as You do. I am weak, selfish and self-centered. I sometimes keep score to determine just how much I will give. I want to have a generous heart. My fear is that someone will take advantage of me. I hold back my love and actions to others, forgetting that it is You whom I am serving. Allow me to see Your face in each person I meet, so I will generous in offering my love. Help me to get past myself and heal the wounds of my heart. Transform my mind and heart to be more like Yours – free to love!”
Avia Joy, what a great way to think about our deeds… " you did it for me" Thank you for once again making it seem easier. I will also adapt that prayer.
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