Singing in Sync

     “I waited, waited for the Lord, and He stooped toward me and heard my cry. And He put a new song into my mouth, a hymn to our God” (Psalm 40 vs. 2a, 4a).



     I had been feeling burdened and frustrated. I had carved out some time earlier in the day to write my blog post, but nothing came. I had reflected on some beautiful quotes, but came up empty. I decided to walk away from it and clean my upstairs.

     I kept reassuring myself that, in God’s time, something would come forth. I reminded myself that He had been very faithful these past nine months; after all, we had written 74 posts! Sasha was not going to desert me now.

     Nine months! I thought with amazement. When Avia Joy was born, I often wondered about the length of her life. As time moved on and I became more comfortable with my “baby,” it was not something I thought about, except that is, when I struggled to write.

     This isn't about you. It’s about trusting and waiting. It is about believing that God will provide if this blog is still part of His plan. You feel compelled to try to write at least twice a week. You are called to be obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

     I had learned and grown so much since her birth. God had used Avia Joy to teach me lessons that I could apply to my life. Because I had to wait for God’s inspiration to write, I was getting better at trusting in areas in which I had struggled. I was becoming more patient and more peace filled with the uncertainties of my life, and the lives of my loved ones. Because I did not know from week to week how many posts God wanted, He was teaching me to surrender and realize that I cannot control things. Instead, I have to accept things on His terms, and assent to uncertainties at times. Papa wants me to believe, contrary to what I see, that He has heard the cries of my heart, and is not ignoring them. He is right there with me. I am not alone. God had kept His promise to lead me and guide me with this new gift of “motherhood,” and I was to trust that He will not abandon me in any aspect of my life. I was to let go of this burden and wait for God to act.

     Finished with my chores, I sat down for quiet prayer. I began to read the scripture readings for Mass. As I read the words to the Psalm, they pierced my heart and made me smile. At that sacred moment, God had stooped down, touched me, and placed His song in my heart! His presence was palpable, and I felt cherished and loved. I sat there soaking in the graces that He was showering
 down upon me. I thanked and praised Him, knowing that this was another lesson to help me on
 my journey.

     God helped me to realize that I had certain expectations of “how” He was going to answer this prayer request. I had assumed it would be a particular quote that He would have me focus upon, and that was not the case. He allowed me to see that I sometimes expect Him to answer my prayer request in a specific manner. In fact, there have even been times when I have been bold enough to tell Him just how things should unfold.

     Our God is a God of mystery and surprise, and not of predictability. His plan was to gift me with “His Holy Word,” but I was of the mindset that I had been forgotten. He wanted me to experience His Word -- active and alive, which He uses to speak to our hearts; give us comfort; give us answers; and remind us of just how much He loves us and is involved in our lives.

     I also realized that I had been trying to make God fit into my schedule. He showed me that I still have not abandoned myself completely to trust in His faithfulness. I have to be patient and allow Him to give me the “sheet music,” at the right time. He will choose the song that is best, and will teach it to me when I do not know the words.    

     Before Avia was born I felt like “a song waiting to be sung – but I didn't know the words to the song – nor where to sing it.” Since her birth, I’m learning to become free like a bird released from her cage, to sing the praises of God! I must be patient and not sing out of sync, and wait for the Divine Maestro’s lead.