Oh, the Wisdom of God

     My brother Issac had just gotten his driver’s license and was allowed to borrow our mother’s car for a night out with a friend. He was very excited and promised to be home before his curfew, which was midnight.

     The night went well, but when Issac dropped his friend at home, it was dark. My brother was not familiar with the neighborhood. Because of his lack of confidence and trying to prove himself an adult, he wouldn't ask for directions. He instead drove around for some time, unable to find familiar landmarks. This was before the days of cell phones, so his next task was to locate a phone booth to solicit help from one of his married siblings.

Bless Them; Change Me

     I was puzzled and struggled within myself because I just didn't seem to be able to navigate in peaceful waters with several relationships.  If I zigged, I should have zagged. If I spoke, I should have kept silent. It seemed that whatever I said or did was misconstrued, in ways never intended. I was frustrated and confused because my aim was to love, appreciate and enjoy, but the fruits were found wanting.

     Thanks be to God, the time came for me to see my spiritual director. This would afford me a safe and private place to voice my concerns and receive the grace and good counsel I was now lacking.

Confessions of a 'Seasoned' Mother -- Part 2

     I felt perplexed, like knowing the answer to a crossword puzzle but not being able to spell the word correctly. Wasn't my goal in raising our children to help them become independent and responsible adults? It appeared as if I had succeeded, so why did I feel so badly?

     When my children were little, there were times I would have loved to have some quiet time and not be needed so much. Back then, I looked forward to ‘the time’ when my husband and I would have more time together and we wouldn't always be taking the back seat. What about my relationship with God? Getting up at dawn for some quiet prayer could now be moved to a later time, if I so chose. I needed to look at the positive side in this situation. Be grateful for the past; but move on to the present. When you’re talking about your feelings, it is easier said than done, so I continued to beseech God to give me an insight into my dilemma.

Confessions of a 'Seasoned' Mother -- Part 1

     I considered myself a ‘seasoned’ mother. Having been blessed with five children and the luxury to be an ‘at home’ mom, we had successfully navigated through many of life’s experiences and created a deep family bond.

     Our two youngest would be graduating; one from grade school and one from high school, so once again, we were looking at colleges. Although our three oldest had finished college, they had all commuted, so we had not experienced their absence from our home. I have to admit, I liked it that way. I enjoyed the ‘live at home ‘connection we shared.

      So that was our plan. Our son would find a local college and commute, just like his siblings.

The Assumption of Mary

Oh, my Dear Sweet Glorious Mother
You who were not God

Followed His will so completely and generously

As no human had done before and none since.
You who were so wrapped up in God

And not in self

Became eucharist and gave all

So that He who was All

Could become Eucharist for us.

You surrendered yourself to God

So He in turn

Could surrender Himself to us.

You gave us your Son and we killed Him….

And still you stood by us

Giving birth to us to new life.

Help me my Mother!

Help me to let go of self as you did.

Help me to surrender my will

So I may resemble you and your Son Jesus.

Help me not to fear the dying I must do

In order to live fully in Christ.

As you imitated Father, Son and Spirit in their self giving

Help me to do the same

In all the big and small ways that come into my daily life.

Help me to abandon myself

And become so wrapped up in God as you were

That I, like you, forget myself.

O Sweet Mother of Humility

God could not resist sweeping you up to heaven to Himself

To be the Bride

Pure and spotless and radiant in beauty

The perfect honor of our race.

Help me, your daughter,

To resemble, even slightly, the Mother,

So that God cannot resist me also.

Mary, Queen of Heaven,

Pray for me!

Patient trust

“If we patiently accept through love all that God allows to happen, then we will begin to taste even here on earth something of the delights the saints experienced in heaven.”                                                                                                                                                                                                    St. Jane Frances De Chantal

     When I read quotes like this, I feel as though I still have much to do to advance in my walk with God. I feel challenged enough in trying to accept, through love, all that God allows to happen, but to do it with patience, is usually beyond me!

Don't look at that -- look at Me!

     When my youngest child was a toddler and his four his siblings were in school, I was his chief playmate and source of entertainment. There were times during our day together when I grew weary of playing G.I. Joe, Stars Wars and Nintendo, and would reach for a magazine and discreetly page through it while pretending to be engaged in our activity.

     It was not long before my son took notice of my actions. Reaching with his sweet little hand, he turned my face toward him and said, “Don’t look at that – look at me!” His gentle way of calling me back managed to touch my heart and make him, once again, the object of my focus.

An unexpected gift

     My husband and I were out to dinner, and thoughts of an upcoming retreat kept popping into my mind. I dismissed the thought, since I had not planned to attend and it was less than a week away. I also assumed that most likely it was filled, since it was being given by renowned Directors. But there it was again! I could not get this thought out of my mind. I began to wonder if I was supposed to attend.

     Wanting to put this question to rest, I finally succumbed to the nagging, and casually mentioned it to my husband.  He was quite agreeable to the idea and told me to look into it. I called on Monday morning and was delighted to learn that they had extended the number of attendees and I could be part of it. I asked if I would be able to stay there, or would I need to commute? That answer was uncertain and they would let me know. I knew that I needed to trust that if God had worked this out so far, He would continue to work things out for my best interest.

Stand in hope

“Hope is patience with a lamp lit”                                                 Tertullian


     Something stirred within my heart when I read Tertullian’s words,  “Hope is patience with a lamp lit.”       I felt as though I was engulfed in darkness – without any light. His words caused me to entertain the idea that, just maybe, there was a dim flicker of which I was unaware until that moment. The possibility that hope was present in the burden that plagued my soul began to dawn on me.